Carrie Underwood: Exhibit A
The defense begins by pointing out that, yes, Carrie is pregnant. The prosecution is not swayed, noting that fetal coverings are not required by law to look dumpy, and that this might be a grievous misuse of sparkle.
Carrie Underwood: Exhibit B
The prosecution accuses Ms. Underwood of styling her womb-fruit basket like a gift basket. The defense objects, noting that both of them look less than enthused by this sartorial turn of events, but the prosecution smacks the desk and points out that regrets are a lame argument.
Carrie Underwood: Exhibit C
The defense applauds the bold use of her own child's artwork on the bodice, but the prosecution immediately objects and notes that while the skirt IS pretty, Carrie's child is still in utero and therefore not able to use a crayon with authority. The judge bangs her gavel and makes a noise at the defense that sounds EXACTLY like that black squiggle-cloud looks, which the prosecution points out is the same shape as what The Sims think in their little thought-bubbles when they're angry.
Carrie Underwood: Exhibit D
"Camera 2, stay wide. Camera 1, stay side. Camera 3, stay wide," intones the prosecution. The defense does a bracing shot of whiskey and just waves this one by.
Carrie Underwood: Exhibit E
The prosecution complains that womb-cupping is a blatant play on our sensibilities and that this outfit should be thrown out, but the judge rules that it's allowable even just to cancel out the stupidity of whatever was going on in the previous slide. The defense makes a pot of very strong coffee to offset the whiskey from before.
Carrie Underwood: Exhibit F
The defense throws out the coffee immediately and starts to make an argument, but then notices that the prosecution is so preoccupied by the brilliance of carrying Cheez Balls in a Baby Bjorn that nobody even NOTICED Carrie Underwood standing there on her mint flotilla.
Carrie Underwood: Exhibit G
The prosecution is immediately irritated at itself for skipping through the last one, because this is basically fine -- but just as the defense starts to gloat, the prosecution quickly notes that the pink lipstick is a little ridiculous on a grown woman in a sparkly black gown. The defense hands over a bowl of Tobasco diluted with water and asks if the judge can in good conscience accept such weak sauce.
Carrie Underwood: Exhibit H
"Blanche Devereaux's Maternity Tunic," announces the prosecution. "Blanche Devereaux is our QUEEN," screams the defense.
Carrie Underwood: Exhibit I
The prosecution is like, "Whatever, this is totally good, we can afford to give up this one." The defense salutes them and then taps its fingers together like Mr. Burns.
Carrie Underwood: Exhibit G
The prosecution shrugs that this is kind of Frozen, sort of, maybe, but whatever, and the defense is like, "It's fine, I guess, sure," and everyone just decides to have a beer and skip ahead to the judgment part because after that there is either Cocktails of Triumph or Alcohol of Defeat and both will be eagerly welcomed.