Jimmie Allen and Alexis Gale

As promised, here is Jimmie and his bride, who just had his third baby like a month ago (and while he was in LA doing DWTS, though he flew back for the birth). I got pretty fond of him on DWTS, and so I got a little emotional when he won. I'm NOT dead inside! I love his ebullient fashion sense and this is a great example.

Carrie Underwood

Jessica said she thought Carrie looks like a fancy cyborg, and she rather does.

Kelsea Ballerini

And she is the overlord who commissioned the cyborgs.

Maren Morris

I see where this is going, truly, but was it made off someone else's measurements? Why is the jacket buttoning IN her crotch?

with Ryan Hurd

I guess her husband is a musician, too, so: Here he is. I like his shoes.

Ashley McBryde

That looks like a serpent wriggling through her bosom.

Mickey Guyton

That's very bridal, although she looks nice. She SOUNDED great, for sure.

Mickey Guyton, Brittney Spencer and Madeline Edwards

These three sang together -- I think it'll be in our next post -- and I really enjoyed it. Brittany's black and gold dress is super.

Miranda Lambert in Versace

Ooh, I like this on her. I also really like to shout her song with Elle King while I am in the car. "I'm drunk and I don't want to go home" is maybe not QUITE what you want to be proclaiming at top volume from the driver's seat of a vehicle? And yet.

Elle King

Speaking of Elle. She looks like a cool vicar. The kids love her because she drops a mild curse word in every sermon.

Gabby Barrett

She is dressed as one of those cartoon bubbles that says things like ZAP and BAM in it.

Carly Pearce

She was clearly SHOCKED AS HELL to win her category, and the ensuing sobbing was really touching. And her eye shadow mostly seemed to stay put. SCIENCE!

Maddie and Tae in David Koma

These are making me feel green around the gills, that is for sure.

Derek Wells

I mostly pulled this because his lovely wife's dress is gorgeous.

Russell and Kailey Dickerson

She is delivering some welcome nighttime soap realness.

Lady A

Ugh, it's so irritating that they forced the other Lady A to stop using it, just because it was easier for THEM after years of being "Lady Antebellum." Let's call them Lady Eh. As in MEH. (This is maybe not my best work.) I DO think Hillary Scott's dress is mediocre at best, so take that.

Lainey Wilson

She looks like when I get REALLY weird with my Animal Crossing avatar.

Dierks Bentley and Cassidy Black

That haircut is still going strong. He did a whole song about drinking beer. I love how DIRECT country music is.

Luke Bryan and Caroline Boyer

Luke hosted -- he brought a lot of Blake Shelton realness to it, which makes sense, because he now co-hosts American Idol and Blake is the anchor of The Voice, and I'm sure Luke studied at the knee of the master or some shit. Anyway, I appreciate the texture of his suit. Her dress looks like what happens when you watch a Live on Instagram and a bunch of people smash that love button.

Deana Carter

This may have gone as planned, but... it should not have BEEN the plan.

Kane Brown

The snazzy shirt under this suit really makes it.

Tenille Townes

Bra suit alert! Honestly, is it only there as emergency insurance? You can't really see it. Maybe she was out of boob tape.

Darius Rucker

I will never be displeased to see Hootie, with or without blowfish.

Chris and Morgane Stapleton

We just saw this Oscar de la Renta on Sabrina Elba. It IS a good choice. She comes off like if Taylor Swift had released Folklore in her 40s.

Little Big Town

This allllll tracks. (I actually quite like Right Town's gold boots.)

Dan and Shay

Dan, or Shay, is REALLY angling for that shampoo commercial. I approve of the suit colors. Thank you, sirs, for your tribute to ketchup and mustard.

Shane McAnally

Pink truly is the color of the year.

Susan Sarandon and Trace Adkins

Technically this could have gone in the non-country post, but Trace is a music legend, and Susan is his co-star in an upcoming show that basically looks like Empire but for this genre. I... have questions. I also don't like her suit. That's right. I said it, Susan.

Never Fear, We Wouldn't Skip the Country Music Folk at the CMAs

It was their night, after all.