2001: Neal McCoy
We are opening very strong here, with this Neal McCoy gentleman wearing a jet pack years before Elon Musk ever decided to make one. I wish I had ANY context for this: Believe it or not, THIS IS NOT ON HIS WIKIPEDIA PAGE. Whoever is compiling that sucker has slept on the best details.
2001: Terry Bradshaw
Note to self: Ask Kevin if he owns this record. SURELY this is in his collection somewhere.
2002: Carrot Top
NO KIDDING.
2006: Reba
THIS is Reba. Clearly. Now, I didn't actually have any shots of Reba at the CMTs, but there is this CMT event honoring her, so let's count it just so we can get her in here wearing aqua satin. Also...
Dakota Fanning and Dolly
This had better be up on Dakota's wall.
Dakota and Kelly Clarkson
Right next to this. Dakota really should have both of these printed into a giant blanket that covers her bed.
Wynonna Judd
If they made a Little Mermaid sequel in which Ursula came back to steal Ariel's hair, then I think we have our Sea Witch.
Ty Murray and Jewel
Why are her knees in time-out?
2006: Gretchen Wilson and Kid Rock
Is Mr. Rock's shirt... leather? Or just shiny? Or... what is it? It does look water-resistant at least.
Taylor Swift
I do miss Taylor's head of curls.
2007
She could make three other dresses out of that train, if she still has it.
2008
I love this color. She seems like SUCH a different person. I mean, I know it's 12 years ago, and so that's how it should be; watching someone grow up in the public eye will always be so wild to me.
2008: Tim McGraw and Faith Hill
"Hello hi! YES! Fifteen different hair products up my sleeve, thank you for asking. Need dry shampoo? I'm your girl."
2008: Julianne Hough
Sweeter times for her, too -- I feel like she's tried to parlay DWTS into so many different careers, and now the thing I most remember is that time she went to the Davos summit and appeared to be possessed. Whoops.
2008: Miley Cyrus
Miley hosted this year with her father, and she looks fantastic here. LEGITIMATELY good, not just "good considering what we know comes after this."
She looks completely cute here, too.
AND here, albeit suddenly very young. She was only 17 here, I think, but she looks much closer to tweendom here.
This pretty dress looks like it was in contention for 13 Going on 30.
2008: Nicole and Keith
I love this color on Nicole (who was indeed pregnant) but what we really need to discuss are Keith's feet. When I looked at his right shoe there, my eyes were CONVINCED it was a left shoe on the wrong foot. And now that I've seen this, I cannot unsee it.
2008: LeAnn Rimes
The flapper look is cute on her, but I wish she could lower the shades like two more inches.
2009: Julianne Hough
It is hard for me to evaluate this because her hair looks like it was styled to emulate a Fox News anchor.
2009
This is Joe Elliott of Def Leppard, but if you told me it was a bad Keith Urban cosplayer, I'd have accepted it.
2009: T Pain
I appreciate truth in advertising.
2010: Jake Owen
This guy looks like an animated Disney prince to me.
2011: Nicole Kidman
This is the dress version of a show that got cancelled after seven episodes and now you'll never find out how it ended.
2012: Jennie Garth
This slideshow reminded me that Jennie Garth had a CMT reality show for a while, which may have been as good an idea as whatever that shoulder thing is on her dress.
2013: Taylor
This is just all so beige.
2014: Nicole and Keith
Keith is in a ratty t-shirt because Nicole took BOTH of the fabrics they'd bought for the occasion.
2014: Kate Walsh
This Naeem Khan is SO PRETTY but I always find myself wishing it had either a shorter train, or a longer front hem.
2015: Nicole and Keith
"I'm back! And with my own flotation aid!!"
2015: Jenna Dewan
This is the dress Kate Middleton would buy if she lived a sheers kind of life.
Billy Cyrus and Brandi
For all we know, that's a Billy Ray Cyrus stand-in. You would never be able to tell.
2017: Olivia Lane
And this is "Olivia Lane," but I think we all know it's a moonlighting Jennifer Lawrence.
Jada Pinkett Smith
That is a great, great dress. I don't remember why she was there, but I'm glad she went.
2017: Nicole and Keith
"Well, if Keith is always going to look like the apocalypse spit him out, I decided I should follow that lead."
2018: Kaitlin Doubleday
Kaitlin went from Empire to Nashville, and apparently brought this outfit east with her and lost half the sequins in her suitcase..
2018: Danielle Bradbery
Any outfit inspired by an unsnapped bodysuit is a no from me.
2018: PK Subban and Lindsey Vonn
This is the best she's ever looked. I miss his wacky hats, but truly, they both are slick here.
2019: Michelle Monaghan
I love how casually EVIL this looks. It has her demonic monogram on her pelvis.
2019: Meghan Lindsay
She looks troubled, perhaps by the glamorous plague that has beset her person.