Bella Hadid and Hailey Baldwin

I thought that was Gigi on the right there for a second, but actually, I like to think Gigi has gotten past bra shirts. Just because... surely someone must have.

Rihanna

Rihanna seems to be dressed for a scuba party OR a dance party OR also some camping. Which... I mean, maybe that's about right, I don't know. It's been a minute since I went to Coachella.

Charli XCX

Sincerely, what is the point of making that dress if it can't be worn without someone IMMEDIATELY distracting from it with either nudity or underpants?

Cardi B in Moschino

I don't totally understand her musical popularity -- it makes me feel very old -- but I am at least grateful that Cardi B is not boring.

Amber Rose

Amber looks like she's on the Olympic ski team for the nation of Niplandia.

Shay Mitchell

Is it a bra and arm warmers, or is it all attached? I don't like feeling like the science of how to get a shirt on has flummoxed me.

Shay

THIS I at least understand. It's chilly in the desert, and you've been out all day, and maybe you've been drinking or whatever and you just want to feel like you're in jammies.

Shay Mitchell

It's also VERSATILE, because she can just... take off the top and tie it off, I guess?

Emily Ratajkowski

She really seems to be rediscovering fabric.

Emily with Kendall Jenner

I mean, that's even a reasonable-ish dress, albeit not well-matched to the shoes. She does need to brush her hair. But she looks less ridiculous than Kendall, who seems to think she's in a dance squad movie. But at least KENDALL is smiling.

This photo just made me laugh. It's so GLASSY-EYED.

Rowan Blanchard

These Ugg slides seem ridiculous to me. I'm sure they're COMFORTABLE if you've spent the day traipsing about at, say, Fashion Week, in crazy heels. Not sure they're a desert necessity. Also, you can tell Rowan hasn't traipsed around that much because her outfit has NO sweat stains.

Blake Griffin

He looks like a tool, basically, no?

Sean Combs

That's either a LOT of layers, or one really busy coat.

Jamie Foxx

Yeah, I don't love dust either, Jamie.

Delilah and Amelia Hamlin

Trying. So. HARD.

Teyana Taylor

And BEHOLD, the first lace pants of the season.

Jasmine Sanders

I always think she is Rita Ora at first. But I think even Rita Ora has moved beyond this outfit.

Nicole Scherzinger

I will accept this.

Victoria Justice

I have never seen anything LESS practical to wear in the desert.

THERE WE GO. Finally, someone conjures up the spirit of Vanessa Hudgens.

Chloe Kim

Wait. Is Chloe wearing two bras, or is one of the bras printed on her shirt and it didn't hit her in the right place so she wore a backup? Or... is there a third option I have not considered?

Brooklyn Beckham

This is the least douchey he's looked in a while, if I'm being honest. It's totally normal.

Gigi Hadid, Jeremy Scott

The idea of a fashion party at Coachella, with boots like that and a romper covered in CDs, is just insane to me. That festival really did get so pretentious, possibly through no fault of its own.

Olivia Culpo

That should be sold as a bikini somewhere. I BELIEVE she intends it as clothes.

Paris Hilton

She just makes me laugh now.

Dove Cameron

Her face looks a little different to me? But mostly, I'm distracted by how hot it must be to wear fur slippers and sit on a giant fur poof.

Joan Smalls

WHAT are those shoes doing at Coachella?!? Like, seriously, she's clearly not attending ACTUAL Coachella but just someone's lounge, right?

Natalia Dyer

"Hey guys! I just... thought this was a regular music festival, so I showed up in regular clothes. Is the joke on me?"

Iggy Azalea

Yes, it's a sports bra, but it's Dior so it probably costs $900. Money well spent.... wait, sorry, I'm gagging on those words.

Shanina Shaik

I can live with this, although those boots look like she might not be able to lift them.

Ryan Destiny

Pass.

Jasmine Tookes

Well. I hope this was at least a pool party?

Elsa Hosk

Someone lost her pants in a office betting pool about how long Thursday's conference call would go. NEVER bet the under, Elsa.

Olivia Culpo

She is trying as hard as if she was Olivia Palermo (another D-list Olivia whose reasons for fame are murky, but who at least accessorizes well).

Camila Mendes

That seems perfectly appropriate, if also something you might not want to get dusty.

Daphne Groeneveld and Taylor Hill

It's boggling that they are dressed for the same event.

Nicole Richie

When NICOLE RICHIE is an especial dose of sanity...

Alisha Boe

Alisha (13 Reasons Why) is in velvet slides, and I hope they turn out to be machine-washable.

Joan Smalls

I genuinely think I have seen that shirt on Ashley Graham, but the other way around, with the lacing on the top.

Alessandra Ambrosio

She looks cute, though. 

Winnie Harlow

On the whole, MUCH of this wasn't as insane as in past years. I'm both pleased AND disappointed, if you can believe it.

Other Than Beyonce, Coachella (Fashion-Wise) Was a Bit of a Whimper

We've got one more weekend for things to pick up.