Kendall Jenner in House of Harlow

Most of these outfits were from the Revolve Clothing party, which has become a primary source of inanity. Kendall here has chosen a borderline normal dress and then used accessories to turn herself into a high-fashion frog.

Peyton List

Well, I guess she was flattered to have been in Fug Madness this year. This is so bad that I SHRIEKED when I saw it. That isn't even sensible pool-party attire. 

Winnie Harlow

Well, the pink hair suits her, anyway.

Shay Mitchell

Good luck swimming in that weight belt.

Shay Mitchell

Also, Shay, don't sit down anywhere unless they gave you a free pack of seat liners.

Vanessa Morgan

READER, IT'S PANTS. This seems like a very bad use of her Riverdale mini-fame.

Victoria Justice in Topshop

Those are the kind of shorts that MIGHT be a skirt, because the crotch is so perfunctory.

Victoria Justice

A carousel? SIGH. I mean, I guess this seems about right for how dumb Coachella seems to have gotten.

Victoria Justice in Rachel Zoe

It's BETTER, at least.

Isabela Moner in House of Holland

She's done it. She's actually done it. She has one-upped Jennifer Lopez's terrible jeans-boots with JEANS LEGWARMERS THAT MATCH HER JORTS.

Tyrina

I genuinely don't know who this is, but she looks so terrible that I had to share. What does that overlay even look like when handed to a person? I assume it balls up very tiny, like half a pair of nylons. How do you know if you're putting it on correctly? IS there a correct way? Or is it like an Infinite Swiss Cheese Dress?

Teyana Taylor

She looks like a painful crotch wedgie might be coming her way, but also as if she could pop out for a run whenever the party becomes too irritating, which I respect.

Olivia Culpo

I really believe photos like this are why the word poseur was invented.

Olivia Culpo

Way more reasonable, but that is a LOT of contouring for the heat of the desert.

Olivia Culpo

Like, are you guys even at Coachella, or are you just in the same town at the same TIME as Coachella?

Tyga

Uh huh. Sure! Listen, orange stripes are surprisingly okay from Tyga here.

Draya Michele (a sometimes-actress)

The concept of swimwear that isn't intended to get wet is insane to me, but clearly that's what this is.

Jasmine Sanders (she's a model)

All I can do is laugh.

Jasmine Sanders

And she came back for more.

Camila Coelho ("global style influencer")(eyeroll) in Majorelle

As least I can't see Jasmine's nipples. I cannot say the same here. Please dear God do not let her actually influence global style, as her job title suggests.

Chantel Jeffries ("DJ, YouTuber, and model")

Not only does her fanny pack match her bra, but it's the same shape. That is... specific.

Sara Sampaio in Lovers + Friends

I do not belong at Coachella anymore and I am FINE with that.

Shanina Shaik

That is marginally normal?

Danielle Herrington

I am at least pleased to see how many of these people are wearing sneakers. That top does not fit her, though.

Ashlee Simpson and Evan Ross

It is hard to imagine that they are in the same town as eveyone else. Also, I cannot express ENOUGH disdain for the Givenchy slides on Evan. They're at least one full size too small, right?

And now he's in a wader-suit? Is Fug Madness 2020 coming for him?!?

HER

Wild guess: She's in Moschino. (For a night in the desert, though, this actually seems perfectly normal.)

Hailey Bieber

Dear Hailey: Your shirt is underpants.

Ashley Tisdale

And hey, look at all the merching that happens. Although Cupcake Wines might have wished she weren't in a distractingly bad shirt.

Shanina Shaik

This is a modified wrestling onesie, right?

Cardi B and Offset

Okay but she really DOES still look like a My Little Pony to me. Maybe that should be her next collab.

Kathryn Newton (actress)

Honestly, this all seems about right.

Bella Thorne

This claims she was at Coachella, but again... do we really think she was traipsing around the polo fields in those boots? No. 

Janelle Monae

This feels about right for her on-stage stuff.

Kacey Musgraves in Balmain

Whereas this feels mildly like she thought this was the Grammys.

Kiernan Shipka

This feels VERY comparatively normal.

Alisha Boe and Kiernan Shipka, both in Rachel Zoe

An actual cute photo. WHO KNEW.

Erika Jayne in Moschino (A Real Housewife of BH)

I typically ignore all the RH franchise people, but I could not resist showing you this madness. Boots are not pants. Maybe she thinks she IS a jungle cat.

Tierra Whack

She is a rapper, and yes, in case you're wondering, Wikipedia says that's her birth name. Her outfit is giving me an actual laugh of glee rather than agony.

Billie Eilish

Those are heavy fur pants. And ski goggles. And a vest. And a scooter? Does this make any sense, for her or for weather or for ANYTHING?

Amandla Stenberg in Levi's

For a denim company, Levi's sure does a bad job sometimes with denim.

Emily Ratajkowski

What really gets me about this whole slideshow is that it makes Emily Ratajkowski look super restrained.

There Is Just So Much Fug In This Coachella Post

The mug of fug runneth over.