Colorful Clothes of the AMAs

Billy Porter in Botter

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/Shutterstock (12612436gt) Billy Porter American Music Awards, Arrivals, Microsoft Theater, Los Angeles, USA - 21 Nov 2021

Is it weird that my main note is one of surprise, that the umbrella doesn't quiiiiite match the suit? Is it also weird that my other note is I would have loved for the the umbrella to be striped? Wait, no, neither of those notes are as important as THIS one...

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chris Pizzello/Invision/AP/Shutterstock (12612666b) Billy Porter presents the award for favorite latin album at the American Music Awards on at Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles 2021 American Music Awards - Show, Los Angeles, United States - 21 Nov 2021

... which is: BILLY, it's bad luck to open an umbrella indoors! DON'T TEMPT THE UNIVERSE. It is seriously cranky right now.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/Shutterstock (12612436gu) Billy Porter American Music Awards, Arrivals, Microsoft Theater, Los Angeles, USA - 21 Nov 2021

I do appreciate the sassy posing opportunities. The flash of nipple was unexpected. Welcome to my paranoia EVERY time I wear a button-up shirt that seems like it wants to start gapping.

Michelle Young

I haven't been watching her Bachelorette season, so I don't have any pithy advice for her (other than, maybe expect as little as possible out of it). She looks super in that color, but the top needs to be wrangled a bit better. Maybe she and Billy could BOTH ask someone for an extra piece of boob tape.

Marsai Martin in Missoni

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/Shutterstock (12612564y) Marsai Martin arrives at the American Music Awards, at Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles 2021 American Music Awards - Arrivals, Los Angeles, United States - 21 Nov 2021

Well played, Marsai. This is perfect and fun.

Jimmy Jam and Bella Harris

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/Shutterstock (12612562fw) Jimmy Jam, left, and Bella Harris arrive at the American Music Awards, at Microsoft Theater in Los Angeles 2021 American Music Awards - Arrivals, Los Angeles, United States - 21 Nov 2021

This was really our only Shocking Pink sighting, which makes me sad. It's... fine? It's a curtain hanging from a bra.

Becky G

This dress looks like if Chanel and Herve Leger had a baby, and that baby resented both its parents.

D-Nice in Dior Men

Mandatory Credit: Photo by AFF-USA/Shutterstock (12612664j) D-Nice American Music Awards, Arrivals, Microsoft Theater, Los Angeles , California, USA - 21 Nov 2021

That's pretty good, and also not at all something I'd have identified as Dior, particularly.

Ian Smith and Matthew Taylor

Maybe my skills are lacking, but I tried Googling these two and couldn't turn up anything. "Ian Smith" and "Matthew Taylor" being, of course, not particularly uncommon names, even if you add "music" to them. Their outfit are interesting? Ian looks like a Marc Jacobs model and I feel like Blake Lively's character in A Simple Favor would like Matthew's suit.

Anthony Ramos

I love the texture on his velvet suit. He looks so cute.

Taurus and Gunna

Everything here seems to be going fine, except that Taurus's Converse look like they're actively melting.

Bad Bunny

He is ready for this awards show; to walk into an OR and observe a surgery; to go to a real estate open house where the owner is really, really picky about footprints on the floor.

Larray in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rob Latour/Shutterstock (12612436ej) Larray American Music Awards, Arrivals, Microsoft Theater, Los Angeles, USA - 21 Nov 2021

That's quite a good suit (those Rick Owens boots make my feet hurt in sympathy, though), and I feel like Harry Styles will be sad he is not wearing it right now.

LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA - NOVEMBER 21: Larray attends the 2021 American Music Awards at Microsoft Theater on November 21, 2021 in Los Angeles, California. (Photo by Amy Sussman/Getty Images)

... noted.