Couture Front Rows, Part 2

Michelle Yeoh in Armani

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/Shutterstock (13736128c) Michelle Yeoh Giorgio Armani Prive show, Front Row, Haute Couture Fashion Week, Paris, France - 24 Jan 2023

Well, her jacket is nice? I am sure the pants are a pricey fabric, but they LOOK like the fashion equivalent of throwing on your cargo pants with your fancy top for a Zoom.

Jean Todt

Jean is Michelle's longtime partner -- he looks large in the motor-racing world and has headed up Ferrari, among others -- and I can't tell if his shoes are actually shiny silver, or if they're just a little worn out and benefiting from some direct lighting.

Marion Cotillard in Chanel

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Domine Jerome/ABACA/Shutterstock (13733754e) Marion Cotillard attending the Chanel Front Row at the Paris Fashion Week - Menswear Fall-Winter 2023 as part of Paris Fashion Week on January 24, 2023 in Paris, France. PFW - Chanel Front Row - 24 Jan 2023

So... is Chanel putting necklaces on ribcages now?

SWINTON

This feels right. I also like her hair pushed to one side like that.

Roger Federer, Mirka Federer, A-Dubs, Baz Luhrmann

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Laurent VU/SIPA/Shutterstock (13732710a) (L-R) Roger Federer, Mirka Federer, Anna Wintour and Baz Luhrmann Chanel show, Front Row, Haute Couture Fashion Week, Paris, France - 24 Jan 2023

I assume Roger is thinking, "I'm handsome. I hope Rafa is doing okay. He was so sad to lose at the Australian Open." I assume Mirka is thinking, "NICE TRY ANNA BUT I AM SITTING NEXT TO HIM TODAY." I assume Anna is thinking, "Should I go to the Oscars with Bill?" And I assume Baz is thinking, "PICTURE IT: A FEDERER-NADAL-DJOKOVIC MUSICAL HALLUCINATORY EXTRAVAGANZA, STARRING NICOLE KIDMAN AND TOM HANKS AND JANELLE MONAE."

Pritika Swarup at Rahul Mishra

Mandatory Credit: Photo by LAURENT BENHAMOU/SIPA/Shutterstock (13732583ae) Pritika Swarup Rahul Mishra show, Front Row, Haute Couture Fashion Week, Paris, France - 23 Jan 2023

And I am thinking, "I LOVE THIS."

Noah Cyrus in Alexandre Vauthier

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/Shutterstock (13733857d) Noah Cyrus Alexandre Vauthier show, Front Row, Haute Couture Fashion Week, Paris, France - 24 Jan 2023

Add Noah to the list of celebrities -- Maisie Williams, Julia Fox, Mia Goth -- who are rejecting eyebrows. She looks... kind of like Shannen Doherty suddenly?!?

Noah Cyrus in Miss Sohee

PARIS, FRANCE - JANUARY 24: (EDITORIAL USE ONLY - For Non-Editorial use please seek approval from Fashion House) Noah Cyrus attends the Miss Sohee Haute Couture Spring Summer 2023 show as part of Paris Fashion Week on January 24, 2023 in Paris, France. (Photo by Dominique Charriau/WireImage)

Okay, now it's more like Cher. I don't think all this dour shit really suits her, but what do I know.

Lucy Boynton, Apple Martin, Sadie Sink, all in Chanel

PARIS, FRANCE - JANUARY 24: (EDITORIAL USE ONLY - For Non-Editorial use please seek approval from Fashion House) (L to R) Lucy Boynton, Apple Martin and Sadie Sink attend the Chanel Haute Couture Spring Summer 2023 show as part of Paris Fashion Week on January 24, 2023 in Paris, France. (Photo by Stephane Cardinale - Corbis/Corbis via Getty Images)

And here's your poster for Heathers: The Return. I assume Apple is plotting something.

Coco Rocha in Georges Chakra

PARIS, FRANCE - JANUARY 24: (EDITORIAL USE ONLY - For Non-Editorial use please seek approval from Fashion House) Coco Rocha attends the Georges Chakra Haute Couture Spring Summer 2023 show as part of Paris Fashion Week on January 24, 2023 in Paris, France. (Photo by Antoine Flament/Getty Images)

As usual, Coco is doing the most.

Coco in Armani

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/Shutterstock (13736128u) Coco Rocha Giorgio Armani Prive show, Front Row, Haute Couture Fashion Week, Paris, France - 24 Jan 2023

And by that I mean, THE MAXIMUM, ALWAYS.

Leonie Hanne in Alexandre Vauthier

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Laurent VU/SIPA/Shutterstock (13736684w) Leonie Hanne Alexandre Vauthier show, Front Row, Haute Couture Fashion Week, Paris, France - 24 Jan 2023

I love her boots. This whole look reminds me of an unspooled cassette, which would have caused me no shortage of angst in the 80s but which is fun now that those days are behind us.

Tina Kunakey di Vita

She legit looks like a journalist. Like, this most closely relates to the way I dressed at Fashion Week when we had to cover it.

Philippine Leroy-Beaulieu

Please spin her off from Emily in Paris. Or just spin Emily off and then forget to film that show, and make a whole new thing about Sylvie and her weirdo employees and her hot boyfriend.

Ashley Park in Rahul Mishra

Mandatory Credit: Photo by LAURENT BENHAMOU/SIPA/Shutterstock (13732583g) Ashley Park Rahul Mishra show, Front Row, Haute Couture Fashion Week, Paris, France - 23 Jan 2023

Ashley can stay, too, but they need to think of a story for her character that isn't just, "And then she sings for a while." This is pretty, but perhaps too shapeless?

Lucas Bravo

HE HATH SHAVED. It's so much better. The mustache was not happening for me.

Juliette Binoche in Armani

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Reynaud Julien/APS-Medias/ABACA/Shutterstock (13736516v) Juliette Binoche arriving at Armani Prive show during Haute Couture Fashion Week in Paris, France on January 24, 2023. PFW Armani Prive Arrivals, Paris, France - 24 Jan 2023

Everyone looks hotter -- or indeed cooler -- in sunglasses. Even people in satin.