Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
I think I speak for us all when I say that if Cate Blanchett showed up at the Oscars rocking a head-scarf, we would all swoon ourselves into vertigo.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
That dress is very, very pretty. Anne Hathaway should be at the Oscars, because she won last year (and surely she won't blow off presenting to the next winner). This would look great on her.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
I know Pantone wants us to believe it's "radiant orchid," but so far midnight blue is the color of the season -- this feels right in line with what we saw at the SAGs, and it's fabulous.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
And this is a very fancy chest-face. Or one of the slits in castle windows through which you shoot arrows at the enemy.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
I think that's a skirt? Strangely, if it's pants, I feel like Blanchett is even MORE likely to wear it.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
This is very dark and dramatic. It's full of romantic angst. It's Lady Mary 2014.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
It's fun to see stuff that has purple hues instead of black and white all over the place.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Armani: targeting the Oscar Nominees Of A Certain Age.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Hip wings!
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Such elaborate nipple shields.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
This is cool but also looks like someone wearing fancy oven mitts snuck up behind her.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
I've decided Armani should design our Olympics uniforms, just because it would crack me up if our athletes had to wear patriotic mesh ponchos. Crack me up in a bad way, though, I guess, so... never mind. I love our athletes.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
This is the kind of crazy pantsuit that could go hilariously wrong or hilariously right.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
The shredded skirts are funky enough on the runway, but I'm never a fan when they show up on the red carpet.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Although I will take a thousand of them over the shredded shirts.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
This feels like a tea towel you'd buy after a palace tour.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Lady Edith would fawn over these head-scarves.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
... drawstrings?!?
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
And giant '80s belts, and coats as bras. They look like a terrifying fashion gang. The only thing bigger than their wardrobe budget... IS THEIR ARSENAL.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
I feel like these are SWINTON's pajamas.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Don't show Jessica Biel the sheer bottoms, please. She has a weak spot.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
The MOST fancy cobwebs in town.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Maybe Meryl should wear this to the Oscars. I feel like you can tell whether she's invested in the nomination based on how much effort she looks like she put in, though, and so far I'm getting the sense she's (correctly) not all that stoked by 'August: Osage County' as a movie.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
I feel like these are some pretty ideas but the execution is very milquetoast.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Is this great, or too much? Or both?
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
I am more interested in what's under the jacket.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Somehow all of these are making the models look wider than I think they are, which doesn't bode that well for them in the real world.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
SWINTONIA's national guard uniform.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Let's all be real and admit to ourselves that we want Julia Roberts to wear this to the Oscars.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
I see a face in the top of this and now I can't see anything ELSE.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Let's stick a Fanning in this.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Are those boob POCKETS, or boob PATCHES?
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Ethereal pelvis glow.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
I know this is supposed to be about visual interest and fantasy and whatnot, but none of my fantasies look like this.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
They TOTALLY look like massive hip medallions, though. Obviously.
Giorgio Armani Prive : Runway - Paris Fashion Week - Haute Couture S/S 2014
Another one that seems to fit weirdly and therefore bums me out.