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On Aura Tout Vu: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture F/W 2013-2014

Gardening gone wrong. Or right?

On Aura Tout Vu: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture F/W 2013-2014

I plan to wear this at Fashion Week.

On Aura Tout Vu: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture F/W 2013-2014

WHAT UP, ROYAL ASCOT.

On Aura Tout Vu: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture F/W 2013-2014

A perfect tennis dress for the US Open.

On Aura Tout Vu: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture F/W 2013-2014

Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to turn the skulls of people I've had to dispose of along the way into bejeweled purses.

On Aura Tout Vu: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture F/W 2013-2014

The expression on her face is magical. It's all, "I KNOW, RIGHT?"

On Aura Tout Vu: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture F/W 2013-2014

This show is my favorite. Can you imagine what a visual jolt it would've been to watch, with the white background and all that color? It's walking caffeine.

On Aura Tout Vu: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture F/W 2013-2014

cut

On Aura Tout Vu: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute Couture F/W 2013-2014

Okay, call me insane, but wouldn't you love if Cate Blanchett wore this?

Alexis Mabille: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute-Couture F/W 2013-2014

That shirt is Florence Welch's spirit animal.

Alexis Mabille: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute-Couture F/W 2013-2014

Sharon Stone, we have never needed you more.

Alexis Mabille: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute-Couture F/W 2013-2014

Because EVERYONE wants to look like a clump of seaweed that just washed up on the beach.

Alexis Mabille: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute-Couture F/W 2013-2014

This is just about he only thing in here I could see someone trying. A young someone. A Fanning.

Alexis Mabille: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute-Couture F/W 2013-2014

All the other ones are so elaborate and carefully weird, and this one is just gaffer tape on a dirty sheath.

Alexis Mabille: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute-Couture F/W 2013-2014

If nobody wears this to Cannes next year then it's ALL FOR NAUGHT.

Alexis Mabille: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute-Couture F/W 2013-2014

On the count of three let's all say what name we're thinking, okay? One... two... three: HILARY DUFF. Jinx! You owe me a Diet Coke.

Alexis Mabille: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute-Couture F/W 2013-2014

This feels like a Tudor woman of ill repute. Otherwise known as a really fun Tudor woman who had great gossip.

Alexis Mabille: Runway - Paris Fashion Week Haute-Couture F/W 2013-2014

Pish. This is just like every other Wednesday.

Couture Week: Miscellaneous Fugs and Fabs
Otherwise known as SWINTONville. [Photos: Getty]

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