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Jennifer Carpenter

I suspect I would like this better without the voluminous ass shell.

Sutton Foster

Well The Fosters outdid Bunheads for ABC Family the other night, so I suspect Sutton's days on that network are numbered, which is too bad because the show was starting to get better -- and yet, it still did terrible, awkward, unbelievably DUMB things, like having a teen character panic that her new boyfriend wanted to propose because she was meeting his mother, and then let her give a ten-minute babbling awful speech to him about how she would say yes and how they'd make it work, while he failed to interrupt her and save her from herself. It was the worst. NOT the worst: This dress. She looks very nice and I hope she keeps doing things on TV so that I can see, as Broadway is tragically too far away for me to appreciate.

Julia Louis-Dreyfus

This Veep needs to hire a new President of Last-Minute Bra Tests. ZING. Also: lipstick. It's the word of the day. Every time you use it, an angel gets a free tube of Revlon.

Abigail Spencer in J. Mendel

I unabashedly love this as well. I remember watching her on AMC the day she debuted as Becca. It was rough. But she had the most enviable head of thick, springy curls, which I guess went the way of Keri Russell's. Oh well. Still: pretty.

Retta

I think one of my favorite things about Retta is that her Twitter handle is unfoRETTAble (caps hers). But also, she glows.

Sarah Paulson

Well, I like the IDEA of pairing a bright funky shoe with this instead of a boring nude -- which is what so many other people would have done -- but that fuchsia might not be quite the right tone. Still, the dress is really nice, which is probably the most supportive I've been of a flesh-tone in a while. Look at me, growing.

Malin Akerman

She looks adorable -- I like that she brought some rock edge so soon after having a baby. She gave birth about seven weeks ago and is gearing up to go to work on her new ABC show, in which she plays a trophy wife (it's called, creatively, Trophy Wife), which I'm sure was not ideal timing. But that's relevant because in looking up when she had her baby, I found this quote from 2009 on Wikipedia: Ã…kerman considers being beautiful both "a blessing and a curse", stating, "I tend to get a lot of scripts in which people want me to play the trophy wife, which is frustrating because I want the interesting, meaty roles." INTERESTING.

Diane Kruger

At first I thought this was great. Then I noticed some stuff on her hips, and finally, peered in at the bodice to see that it looks like a tarantula is climbing out of it. So now I'm concerned she's been possessed and employed as a pawn by a hyper-intelligent arachnid race. Get your fly-swatters ready.

Critics' Choice Television Awards: The basics
I had no idea this awards event was even a thing. I guess this was only the third one, though. I'm sure the ancient stonemasons who etched gossip tablets back in Olden Times said the same thing at the third Emmys. [Photos: Getty]

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