Dakota, Maggie, the Lost Daughter

Dakota Johnson in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/Shutterstock (12408742m) Dakota Johnson 'The Lost Daughter' premiere, 78th Venice International Film Festival, Italy - 03 Sep 2021

Is it possible for this to be both great and terrible? I LOVE that she tried it, and I understand that it is glamorous and dramatic and divinely fit and all that. But I'm stodgy, so I also roll my eyes at how crotch-forward it is -- like, of all the ways this is already sexy and slinky, did it need to stop the opaque bit RIGHT above it, and make an arrow basically pointing to it? This outfit is already a billboard. It did not need to be Billboard Plus. (What even is that. A billboard and then the side of a building? A billboard that has its own streaming service?)

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/Shutterstock (12408742j) Dakota Johnson 'The Lost Daughter' premiere, 78th Venice International Film Festival, Italy - 03 Sep 2021

Here it is in motion. It's a party, for sure. She looks fab in it. (She also has a GREAT face and her makeup is always fantastic.) But it reminds me of Brian Malarkey on Top Chef, who would always get called out for putting wayyyy too much on the plate, and it's not that any of it was badly DONE; it was just A WHOLE LOT and the dish would have been better with less.

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/Shutterstock (12408742al) Dakota Johnson 'The Lost Daughter' premiere, 78th Venice International Film Festival, Italy - 03 Sep 2021

I mean.

Olivia Colman in Armani

Mandatory Credit: Photo by David Fisher/Shutterstock (12408742t) Olivia Colman 'The Lost Daughter' premiere, 78th Venice International Film Festival, Italy - 03 Sep 2021

This is fine. Olivia seems like someone who would be VERY relieved to have Armani just take over and deal with all the clothes.

Peter Sarsgaard

He looks like he was out golfing all day beforehand.

Jake Gyllenhaal

Is Jake making a movie about an Italian pop star who now primarily performs on cruise ships, and if not, WHY not?

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Prada

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/Shutterstock (12408745am) Maggie Gyllenhaal 'The Lost Daughter' premiere, 78th Venice International Film Festival, Italy - 03 Sep 2021

I like this on Maggie. It's very... "I'm at work but still fancy."

Alba Rohrwacher in Dior

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Maria Laura Antonelli/Shutterstock (12409775a) Alba Rohrwacher 'The Lost Daughter' photocall, 78th Venice International Film Festival, Italy - 03 Sep 2021

This made me laugh because she wore it to the photocall and it's ABSOLUTELY the Teen Schoolgirl version of what Maggie wore later.

Dakota Johnson in Gucci

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Maria Laura Antonelli/Shutterstock (12409775d) Dakota Johnson 'The Lost Daughter' photocall, 78th Venice International Film Festival, Italy - 03 Sep 2021

This needs more panache than just a bra. At LEAST a fun jacket? A lively lapel?

Peter Sarsgaard

"Hello. I have a tee time in ten minutes, just FYI. Yes of COURSE I will remember my SPF."

Olivia Colman in Armani

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Anthony Harvey/Shutterstock (12409049d) Olivia Colman 'The Lost Daughter' photocall, 78th Venice International Film Festival, Italy - 03 Sep 2021

Eh. This seems kind of dowdy on her.

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Schiaparelli

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Maria Laura Antonelli/Shutterstock (12409775g) Maggie Gyllenhaal 'The Lost Daughter' photocall, 78th Venice International Film Festival, Italy - 03 Sep 2021

And I want to like this, for the quirk factor, but I think she's swimming in it. Everything is so billowy.