Nina Dobrev in Valentino

We begin with Nina, who has been shoveled into a spotted sack that feels too tight up top, and drably loose down below. It's a terrible shape with giant boob darts; honestly, it feels more like someone at Valentino made this as a Prada parody during one of the office parties and then someone accidentally sent it out. I think she is totally lost in it.

Jessica Szohr

The blond hair is really throwing me off recognizing good old Vanessa from Brooklyn. And perhaps that's part of the plan, if all she can find to wear is total nonsense. This dress has two tube tops, but one of them is inexplicably swaddling her pelvis and the other is a garter that Hagrid's fiancee bought for their wedding day. The skirt itself is fine, but wow, nobody wanted us to notice that.

We got a shoe close-up, though. I'm not sure hastily adding a cage to basic white pumps works as well up-close as it did from a distance.

Eva Longoria in Mario Dice

Welcome back, Eva! She had her baby like an hour ago after being pregnant for approximately two years, so bravo to her for going back to work at at time when I think everyone in the world would've given her a pass for staying home and dozing off in front of UnREAL's final season.

Jessica St. Clair

I love her. I think we all know I am never going to love the jumpsuit -- the shape is blah, at best -- but let's give a thousand Mazels and a celebratory body roll to her for wearing cute shoes. A lesser mortal might have defaulted to clunky white pumps.

Adina Porter

However, in the Battle of the Bottom Halves, I give it to Jessica's jumpsuit in favor of whatever those are.

Finn Wolfhard

And, Finn brings us full circle with some more spots. I treasure him for wearing polka dots. Not enough dudes get dotty. And isn't THAT the kind of searing insight you demand from your celebrity fashion website? YEAH. 

The Rest of the Dog Days Premiere was a Mixed Breed, So To Speak

I had to go there with the pun, didn't I? You know I can't resist terrible wordplay. Anyway, the Wikipedia synopsis for this movie -- which is the one Vanessa Hudgens and Nina Dobrev co-promoted on the awkward cover of Cosmo -- is, "Dog and human lives are brought together in Los Angeles." Okay then. The director, Ken Marino, pitched it as Love, Actually, meets Marley and Me, so it's one of those big-cast situations where I assume everyone ends up loosely connected at the end and probably at least one dog or human dies, right? We already saw The Hudge and her Marchesa; now let's ogle the rest of the people who showed up. For a sprawling cast, it wasn't that many. [Photos: WENN]