Leona Lewis

I would go to this church, just out of curiosity. In my head, the hymns are all disco anthems; the gospels are according to Donna, Aretha, Gladys, and Travolta, and the readings are published in the Book of Funk.

Leona Lewis

It's just so moving when your sleeve has as many hair extensions as a Disney graduate.

Leona Lewis

This is from a bit longer ago, but we somehow missed it. It pleases me. During this Mass, she obviously did a reading about earth, wind, and fire, set to music by Marvin Gaye because they couldn't get the rights to any Earth, Wind, and Fire. The crowning, thoughtful touch is puting ripped tights underneath a coat-dress that only showed her ripped tights by accident.

Dramatically Played, Leona Lewis

Back when she was wearing lips on her chest, I really thought Leona Lewis had the makings of a Fug Madness star -- but she's been pretty silent since then. Ergo, imagine my glee at seeing her perform in a giant fringed robe befitting the high priestess of a religion invented by Paris Hilton and Florence Welch. [Photos: WENN]