I couldn't grab every photo from this show, so I went with the close-up of this model, who looks cool as all hell, is well-accessorized, and affords us a nice close look at the beadwork.

Well, I will be astonished if this or a version thereof does not appear on a famous body.

Those pants are an unnatural disaster.

This will also be pretty, when we aren't on labia alert.

That top is so beautiful. I genuinely think that the sheer trend was borne of designers being REALLY bad at time management.

Pants with open-front skirts -- I mean, I guess they're hip-capes? -- are sticking around in force. This color is fabulous, at least.

It gets boring to be all, "... IF they lower the slit," ALL THE TIME. But we all know that would be helpful. Even just practically.

It also gets boring to repeat, "It's gorgeous except I can see everything," so I won't. Even though I just did. I could see Lily Collins wearing this as-is.

Whoever sketched this was like, "Ten days until the Bahamas... ten days until the Bahamas..."

Nine things I've already said in this slideshow apply here, basically.

This has a Naeem whiff to it.

God, the detail on that is just amazing.

Ditto this. I mean, Elie Saab will always get worn, so it's really just a question of the tweaks. It'd be groovy if Brie Larson went full goddess in this one. But not Full Monty.

We pause for a close-up of another dress's details. (I have to ration our photos.) I appreciate the peek.

Whoever wears this MUST go with the headband also.

We've basically seen this a bajillion times. It's lovely but not anything new. It's sort of a staple, really.

Wonderful. I like the iridescent look of the skirt.

And HOORAY FOR WEDDING GOWNS. Even when they are in Leg City, and Leg City is apparently located in the tropics.

Elie Saab Haute Couture: S/S 2017

We are loading you up on gowns before the SAGs. Eat your fill!