Elizabeth Taylor
Start 'em young! Per Informative Caption, Elizabeth here is on the Queen Mary, " holding her pet French Poodle 'Teeny'." But you'll note that she's holding TWO French poodles. Not so Informative now! She's 15 here.
1949
This photo is extremely glam to me. Here, Elizabeth is 17, and posting with her then-fiance William Douglas Pawley, Jr, "at the home of his father, the former Ambassador to Peru and Brazil." Apparently, he was very broken up when they parted ways, but they also broke it off because she didn't want to quit her job to become a housewife, so too bad for you, Bill. He was also 28 to her 17 so....pull it together, Bill. (Also creepy, per Wiki, around this time: "Film tycoon Howard Hughes also wanted to marry her, and offered to pay her parents a six-figure sum of money if she were to become his wife." They WISELY PASSED.)
1950
Elizabeth instead married Conrad Hilton just one year later. Here they are on the Queen Elizabeth, coming back from their honeymoon. This dog is named Banco, and she got him in Paris. There are many ways in which I had always hoped my life would be more like Liz Taylor's -- for one thing, I thought it would be interesting to be married like a really extreme number of times -- and one of them is that I'd also like to always come home from an expensive trip with a dog. These two broke up shortly after this because it turned out he was abusive, and an alcoholic, AND they had nothing in common. (Elizabeth has basically said that she saw getting married so young as a way to gain freedom from her parents, and the studio.)
1959
She and Michael Wilding, her next husband, apparently did not get on any boats of any sort, which perhaps contributed to the end of their marriage (also, he was cranky that she was more famous than he was, and allegedly had strippers over when she was on location). We also have no instances of Elizabeth on a boat with Mike Todd -- perhaps because he tragically died before they could do it. So instead, we skip ahead to Mike's buddy, Elizabeth's next husband, Eddie Fisher. Here they are, boarding "their luxury yacht "Olinico" just before setting sail for Italy after a brief stopover [in Cannes]. They're on a honeymoon cruise of the Mediterranean." That sounds amazing and I'm concerned about Elizabeth's trousers.
1959
Here they are again, with a different top! Yes, she and Eddie are tootling around Portofino here and are not technically ON a boat but they got they VIA boat and I thought you'd want to see this hat and handbag. J'adore whoever was on Informative Caption Duty this summer, because they wrote: "Pipe-puffing Eddie Fisher and his straw-hatted wife, Elizabeth Taylor stroll hand in hand in the market place here May 20. The Honeymooners arrived aboard their yacht from Cannes, France, and spent two days at this fishermen's Village which is also a swank Italian Riviera resort. They left on May 21." We need to call things "swank" more often.
1962
MOVE ASIDE, EDDIE FISHER! It's time for Richard Burton, getting some sun with Liz "on the deck of a speedboat during a holiday in Ischia, 18th June 1962. They had just completed work on the epic drama 'Cleopatra' in Rome." This looks delightful.
1964
This is not ON a boat, but here she and Richard Burton are getting ready to board the Queen Elizabeth to sail to England. Informative Caption gossipily informs me that DEBBIE REYNOLDS (who was married to Eddie Fisher when he ran off with Elizabeth -- the Jennifer Aniston of that love triangle) was ALSO on the ship!!! I assume they all shared a very awkward elevator ride at one point.
1968
Richard and Elizabeth LOVED a transatlantic crossing it seems, as here they are -- with baby Kate Burton -- once again arriving in England. Elizabeth truly looks quite fabulous; everyone should wear a hat of this sort to disembark from anything.
1968
Have you ever seen a woman look more annoyed to be getting on a yacht, in a cape no less?? Richard Burton seems VERY doubtful about Tower Bridge back there.
1967
Ah, that's better. (Here, they're on their own yacht, "'Kalizma', off the coast of Capo Caccia in Sardinia, during the filming of 'Goforth', later titled 'Boom'." Boom is a VERY over-the-top movie that you should probably watch.)
1968
"Honestly, Elizabeth, I'm trying to read."
1968
The Taylor/Burtons moored their yacht off Tower Pier in London quite a bit, it seems. Here, they're being zipped ashore across the Thames. No better time for a headscarf!
1968
More dogs! This time, with a special appearance by Clint Eastwood.
1969
Informative Caption comes swanning in again to tell us that "actress Elizabeth Taylor leaves her yacht for the swimming pool of the Hotel de Paris, for breakfast and an early swim.The morning activities were a continuation of a party the previous evening at which she and her husband, Richard Burton, were guests. The occasion was in celebration of the 40th birthday of the American born Princess Grace. On her right hand Liz is wearing the famous diamond which she purchased in New York." This outfit is GLAM.
1970
Here, we see "actors and spouses Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor walking through the streets of Monte Carlo after leaving their yacht 'Ring Worth', Monaco, 1970." New yacht, new pants, same turbulent relationship. Elizabeth's look is TRULY the height of August Quarantine Chic.
1982
Finally, Elizabeth -- who looks AMAZING here, at 50 -- is not on a yacht here. But this man is captioned as "Yacht Stewart" and for longer than I should have I thought he was NAMED Yacht Stewart before I realized that Informative Caption made an error: He's a STEWARD on the yacht to which she is strolling. ("Yacht Stewart is like the preppiest name I've EVER heard," I muttered to myself before I figured it out.) Safe passage to you both!