Julianne Moore

We saw her walk right past us from our spot on the surface of the sun, and we couldn't tell if maybe we were just blinded by sweat drops or if this didn't work. My verdict now: It didn't work. It's like rib jail.

Julianne Moore

NONE of this is doing anything flattering to her shape, and I'm totally underwhelmed by the view of her bra. It's a lousy thing to do to herself. Do not self-flagellate in this manner, Julianne. If I look that good when I am her age, please, everybody, make me wearing something that flaunts it more. I'm not saying she has to go full Vergara on us here, but this is just a shame. Can you even call it a high-waisted skirt? It's almost more of a low-torsoed strapless gown.

Julianne Moore

And it was a stretchy demi-sweater material, too, which... how did she not sweat right through that sucker within ten seconds? I would have run over to Jon Hamm and asked him to please nibble off the sleeves.

Julianne Moore

At least she still has that face. I'd argue she looks better now than she did 20 years ago. It's a great lesson for our young people about moisturizing and not messing up your face with Botox and surgery. If I had to choose between her monkeying with her head and monkeying with her fashion, I'd choose the latter in a heartbeat.

Emmy Awards Fug Carpet: Julianne Moore

Is it as bad as it's ever been? No. But it's certainly not good, and not for nothing, that wrinkle on the front gives her terribly unfortunate polternubbin. Not that there's any such thing as fortunate polternubbin, although -- fun fact! -- I have it on no authority that "Fortunate Polternubbin" was the original title for that one CCR song. [Photos: Getty]