James Wolk
Breathe.
Shemar Moore
His part of the Emmys was SO WEIRD. He basically hung around backstage and made people stand next to him looking uncomfortable, while he told the viewing audience what a sexy fun night it was, even though in the main auditorium it was like a constant grief parade because everyone dies. I said on Twitter, and it's true, that it was as if someone said to him, "Shemar, think of the Emmys as the Love Boat, and you as its cruise director."
Will Arnett
"I've made a huge mistake. With my bronzer."
Will Arnett
"No, really. It shouldn't have happened. I can't explain it except to say that I'm hoping it will distract everyone from how bad my new show looks."
Aaron Paul, Bryan Cranston
After so long in full Walter White mode, I forgot that Cranston is actually a handsome dude. And Aaron Paul... he made the mistake of telling Giuliana that he and his wife are super lovey-dovey, and she would NOT LET THAT GO. She practically made him relive all their conversations and then was like, "EVERYONE'S HUSBANDS SHOULD LEARN FROM YOU AHEM AHEM." But it's worth noting that he handled it well, he spent a lot of the night bowing to his wife on the red carpet, and I heard a story recently that he once stuck around somewhere (what a great retelling this is) to sign every single autograph and talk to every single person, to the tune of about 400 people. So big ups to Mr. Paul, who might've gotten a little robbed.
Damian Lewis
First of all, his wife Helen McCrory -- a.k.a. Narcissa Malfoy -- looks divine and retro and yum. Second, Damian Lewis is working the Walter White admirably, even if I do miss his red hair, and yes, even if this is a Homeland spoiler (I mean, Brody probably WOULD shave that in order to remain anonymous for longer), I am okay with it. Because if he'd tried to wear a red wig, it would have been a hilarrible horror.
Stephen Colbert
Who DIDN'T love it when Stephen won and, among other things, thanked his wife for being smoking hot?
Scott Bakula
On TV last night, Bakula seemed distractingly orange, but he looks fine here. Maybe he Quantum Leapt somewhere in between red carpet and show, and came back burnished.
Ben Feldman
I thought we all needed to see Ginsberg without the mustache.
Alex Karpovsky
It's Ray! And Ray would be wearing that exact facial expression if you sent him to the Emmys, although I feel like he'd show up in cut-off jean shorts.
Robert Morse and son
Burt Cooper rules. And his son has a killer mane of hair. It's Shaun White levels.
Kiernan Shipka, Robert Morse
I also wanted you to see this, which was so charming.
Rupert Friend
I keep accidentally typing his name as "Rupert Fiend," and the expression on his face always validates that. He seems so broody. But in an appealing way, which is strange for me because I don't usually like glum.
Maxwell Perry Cotton, Mason Vale Cotton
On the left is Rachel Griffiths' son from "Brothers and Sisters," and on the right, the newest Bobby Draper/Teri Hatcher's kid MJ from "Desperate Housewives." They are adorable and I especially like that Bobby Draper wore a white tux on this night, in the vein of his TV dad.
Ty Burrell
I liked his grey woolly jacket. Bless you, Phil Dunphy. Claire is so mean to you. FREE PHIL.
Alec Baldwin
This is a tender, loving family portrait.
Diego Klattenhoff
Fun fact: Diego, who is in Homeland and was also on Mercy with "Orange Is The New Black" star Taylor Schilling, was also in Mean Girls. He played the jock, Shane, that Regina George started dating after she began eating all the ill-fated protein bars. He is the one who tells her they're for bulking up. Fun times.
Kit Harington
It is my understanding that this man is on Game of Thrones. I don't want to watch Game of Thrones. But I COULD get behind watching him in something. Can they please trade him to Homeland for Rupert Friend and Morena Baccarin?
David Benioff
I guess when you've been immersed in Game of Thrones for so long, you WOULD start to look a little like it.
Blair Underwood, Eric Stonestreet
I want these guys to be on the same show. But, to freshen up Modern Family, I also think "Ironside" should trade Blair to "MF" in exchange for Eric and past guest stars Shelley Long and Benjamin Bratt.
Dylan McDermott
People pointing: always a good time. Parenthetically, are we all sampling "Hostages" this week? I am.
Jesse Tyler Ferguson
If you squint, you can tell that his coat is overlaid with black lace. I wasn't sure about it at the time, but now I appreciate the effort and actually think he pulled it off. It's not as screamingly lacy as I feared.
Kunal Nayyar
Say no to Google Glass.
Adam Driver
It cracks me up that Adam Driver is doing Gap modeling this season. I wish they would make his "Girls" character a secret Gap model as well, because it seems like something he would do. I'm glad Adam got nominated for being basically excellent in a dark, interesting role that I HATED for the first half of season one but which, thanks to him, grew on me.
Seth Meyers
He's married now, ladies. To this woman AND to Stefon. HE'S A BIGAMIST.
Dean Norris
He's so good on Breaking Bad. And was good on the so, so, so bad Under The Dome. Maybe HE will get nominated next year, when Breaking Bad goes on its farewell tour.
Hugh Bonneville
Lord Grantham always adds a bit of class to the proceedings.
Mandy Patinkin
"My name IS Inigo Montoya. You DID kill my father. Prepare to die, gentle friend."
Zachary Quinto
He always looks so serious. You're not Spock in REAL life, sir.
Matt Damon
You know how much I love Matt Damon. He's so handsome, and talented, and seems charming and normal. But his hair in this photo made me think, "Matt Damon is aging. I AM NOT READY FOR MATT DAMON TO BE AGING." His hair looks ten years older than he does.
Al Pacino
And, Al Pacino looks like Al Pacino.
Michael Douglas
And, Michael Douglas looks like President Andrew Shepherd.
Michael J. Fox, Tracy Pollan
Welcome back to TV, sir. I am excited to see his show, and his wife looks great, and dammit, Marty, if you had accidentally set fire to my living room rug I would go easy on you.
Judah Friedlander
Where does he end and his 30 Rock character begin? I'm beginning to suspect they were never different.
LL Cool J
Oh, Cool James. There you go again, being all suave.
Andre Braugher
He is so soothing to me. It's like, "Relax, everyone, it's going to be okay -- Braugher is here."
Nathan Fillion
It's always nice to see Nathan Fillion; it seems right that Neil Patrick Harris would try to rope him into the song-and-dance bit, because they did "Dr. Horrible" together. But you will always be Joey Buchanan to me, sir.
Asher Monroe
... was there a clear and present danger? Did he have to wear a bulletproof vest?
Jeff Daniels
I like Jeff Daniels, and he's good on "The Newsroom," but -- as I noted on Twitter -- I said that if he won an Emmy for that shitshow over those other actors, I would quit everything. And he did. So I guess this is it, Fug Nation. Peace out. I am Kaiser Soze. *drops mic*