Heidi Klum in Versace
IT'S JUST A TOTAL DISASTER. There is seriously no excuse for this. There are a hundred gowns in this vein that do NOT look hastily assembled in the shed behind mall.
Heidi Klum
It looks terrible in motion.
Heidi Klum
It looks terrible from behind.
Heidi Klum
It looks ridiculous up close.
Heidi Klum
It even looks horrible when you see it from this angle and think that it might be a giant peasant-style boho eruption.
Heidi Klum
And it's capped off with bad shoes. It's EVIL. It seriously wants to cut off your head and keep it in a jar on its mantelpiece. Don't trust it, folks. Don't get close.
Emmy Awards WTF: Heidi Klum in Versace
Jessica and I are in full agreement that this might be the worst dress of the year -- like, by a major celebrity at a proper event, not a D-lister desperate to break the Internet. Although honestly, all things considered, this might also be worse than any of those. It's HEINOUS. It's not just pizza; it's pizza that fell off the roof of the delivery person's car and then got crushed under the wheels of the car. It's like someone broke into Big Bird's dreams and supped on them until all that remained was a joyless carcass of a fantasy canary. It's like Vegas, if Vegas got sick of being Vegas and quit to run a very small nightclub in Montana. Or, to put it bluntly, YOU LOOK A SAD, INEXPENSIVE FOOL, KLUM. [Photos: Getty]