Jessica Alba in Elie Saab
This is a much better picture. It's vintage, apparently, and I think she looks swell in it.
Cameron Diaz and Jason Segel
Cammy is in Reed Krakoff, and the shoes are Prada, and together I think they're great on her -- sultry, and dressy enough, but still her chill surfer-girl vibe.
Chrissy Teigen
I just think she is way more interesting than a boring beige jumpsuit that needed hemming (perhaps once she walked past Jesse Williams's pants it shrank up in fear and landed at the right length?). It's not HIDEOUS on her anywhere else, but it's just a snore, almost like she was like, "Eh, whatever, all they'll want are the boobs so let's just wrap 'em up in this for a few hours and move on."
Robin Roberts
I don't love this on her, either -- wish it had just been a gown -- but at least it's a LITTLE more sassy.
Nastia Liukin
Cute skirt, I guess, but I just can't with the tops that look backward. That thing is going to garrotte her.
Maria Sharapova
This looked worse on TV. I STILL don't really like it. It's just... a breastplate, a cheerleading skirt, and cobwebs.
Lolo Jones
Too much midriff, Lolo (even though it's GOOD midriff), but I love that you wore a necklace. AND a bracelet. You do not need accessories.
Lisa Leslie
She's so cool.
Laila Ali
How can a super-fit boxer find something SO RELENTLESSLY BAD on her?
Keri HIlson
Wait. Okay. Is that... a lacy skirt, or are they lacy SHORTS? Is this merely hideous, or apocalyptic?
Julia Mancuso
Unflattering, and also, that blue dye makes her hair look SO FRIED. What works for Katy Perry does not often work for others.
Jordana Brewster
Why is the TOP of this like my mop bucket, if the bottom gets to have fun?
Jessica Szohr
She actually looks cute, but I'm concerned someone mispronounced "ESPY" over the phone to her and she thought it was a kids' movie premiere for something called The E-Spies. It just seems very What To Wear To A Daytime Premiere Where Children Are Present.
Erin Andrews
Bland and horrible and like she bought it off the rack at David's Bridal and figured the fit was close enough. But mostly, I just want to retell my favorite Erin Andrews story, which is that I interviewed her once and she gave me the BEST quote: "I'm really good at being self-deprecating." Just let that one wash over you for a sec.
Danica Patrick
I feel like this is what Danica Patrick ALWAYS looks like.
Amy Purdy
She is a snowboard cross Paralympian who also did "Dancing With The Stars," I guess (the season Meryl Davis won, which I think is so wrong, because she is a professional ICE DANCER and although that's not the same thing exactly I personally believe it's way too close to be fair)(but i also don't watch the show so maybe they explained that away)(but I am DOUBTFUL). Anyway, I love her dress, and I LOVE that she is wearing NON-BEIGE SHOES WAY TO GO.
Ali Fedotowsky
Somehow this is just a LITTLE too Von Trapp.
Hannah Cornett
I guess if you're a surfer, you're used to... things that might as well be bathing suits? But this looks like she made it out of half of an Infinite Dress.
Hannah Rogers
She is a college softball player at Florida, which -- along with ND -- won for its overall excellence in sports (we won for the dudes, NO THANKS TO FOOTBALL). And if this looks naked and insubstantial and as if it might drop of her shoulders at any moment, then that's because IT WAS. It looked even nakeder and less substantial and more like a flight risk on TV. Napkins have more conviction.
Sydney Leroux
No no, the Swimsuit Issue is Sports Illustrated, not ESPN.