> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Eurovision 2022: Semifinal Losers - URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/eurovision-2022-semifinal-losers/ - Published: 2022-05-13T16:45:20.000Z - Updated: 2022-05-13T05:05:24.000Z - Author: Heather - Tags: fugs, #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 08:18 ## Albania: Ronela Hajati, "Sekret" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12933832bw-1652401856.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Nderim Kaceli/LiveMedia/Shutterstock (12933832bw) Ronela Hajati (Sekret) Albania Live Music Show Eurovision Song Contest First Dress Rehearsal, Pala Alpitour, Turin, Italy - 09 May 2022 I appreciate her very Eurovision commitment to skimpiness, glitter, and lingerie. But I don't know why Ronela is in comfy dance shoes, as her dancing was mostly pelvic thrusts. The rest of the time she sounded flat and shouted "Hey" a lot. ## Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final, Turin, Italy - 10 May 2022 ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12934748d-1652401867.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Luca Bruno/AP/Shutterstock (12934748d) Ronela Hajati, centre, from Albania singing Sekret performs during the first semi final at the Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final, Turin, Italy - 10 May 2022 Sekret is a song about female pleasure, and it includes this gem: "You made my life like a game // Plane! You got it, you got it // You know I want it, give it to me." Is... she being the plane here? Give it to me, give it to me ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12933832bo-1652401881.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Nderim Kaceli/LiveMedia/Shutterstock (12933832bo) Ronela Hajati (Sekret) Albania Live Music Show Eurovision Song Contest First Dress Rehearsal, Pala Alpitour, Turin, Italy - 09 May 2022 It's really quite an orgy. ## Latvia: Citi Zeni, "Eat Your Salad" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12933832bm-1652401911.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Nderim Kaceli/LiveMedia/Shutterstock (12933832bm) Citi Zeni (Eat your salad) Latvia Live Music Show Eurovision Song Contest First Dress Rehearsal, Pala Alpitour, Turin, Italy - 09 May 2022 Friends, the staging wasn't much, but -- based on a t-shirt he'd seen -- the band opens with, "Instead of meat, I eat vegetables and p\*ssy," except he dropped out on that word and the audience supplied it instead. They wanted a non-boring song about veganism and sustainability, and they got it. I mean, they even worked in a flex about reusable bags and glass jars, before the chorus: "Eating green is hot, eating green is cool // eat your salad, save the planet // being green is sexy as f\*ck." I love it and also for one confusing second thought the guy in front was a surprise appearance by Ricky Martin. ## Live Music Show Eurovision Song Contest First Dress Rehearsal, Pala Alpitour, Turin, Italy - 09 May 2022 ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12933832bb-1652401895.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Nderim Kaceli/LiveMedia/Shutterstock (12933832bb) Citi Zeni (Eat your salad) Latvia Live Music Show Eurovision Song Contest First Dress Rehearsal, Pala Alpitour, Turin, Italy - 09 May 2022 There is also a SAXOPHONE SOLO UNDER A SPOTLIGHT. The only thing better would be fire coming out of the sax. Oh, and the screens also showed stuff like jiggling cartoon avocados. It was a treat. ## Slovenia: LPS, "Disko" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12933281p-1652401928.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jessica Gow/TT/Shutterstock (12933281p) LPS of Slovenis on stage during rehersal prior to semifinal 1 Eurovision Song Contest, Dress Rehearsal, Turin, Italy - 09 May 2022 Excuse me, sir, how DARE you bring out a giant disco ball and do nothing with it except plonk your drummer near the top? This song sounded like the theme song to a 70s cop show, which is why the lead singer's hella-flat energy was a surprise. ## Bulgaria: Intelligent Music Project, "Intention" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12934748z-1652401943.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Luca Bruno/AP/Shutterstock (12934748z) Intelligent Music Project from Bulgaria singing Intention perform during the first semi final at the Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final, Turin, Italy - 10 May 2022 This was not such an intelligent music project. It was really just lukewarm hair metal. ## Croatia: Mia Dimsic, "Guilty Pleasure" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12934748ai-1652401957.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Luca Bruno/AP/Shutterstock (12934748ai) Mia Dimsic of Croatia singing Guilty Pleasure performs during the first semi final at the Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final, Turin, Italy - 10 May 2022 This song is about a woman who's married, but wishes she could run away with her lover, and she told the story with the help of several interpretive dancers who mostly just wandered past each other and exchanged longing looks. I think she needed some of Albania's orgy energy. ## Denmark: Reddi, "The Show" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12933281x-1652401973.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jessica Gow/TT/Shutterstock (12933281x) REDDI of Denmark on stage during rehersal prior to semifinal 1 Eurovision Song Contest, Dress Rehearsal, Turin, Italy - 09 May 2022 I'm sad that the four-woman rock band didn't make it, but sadly, their bop worked better as a ballad -- which is how it started -- than as a peppy jam. ## Israel: Michael Ben David, "I.M." ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12937715p-1652401989.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Luca Bruno/AP/Shutterstock (12937715p) Michael Ben David from Israel singing 'I.M.' performs during the second semi final at the Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final, Turin, Italy - 12 May 2022 This had a bit of a dance hall sound, but with a random rap section in the middle? Ultimately it was forgettable, except for his weird waist-trainer thing. It's probably not any worse than some of what did get in, but I could see people forgetting it existed. ## Georgia: Circus Mircus, "Lock Me In" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12937715aa-1652402004.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Luca Bruno/AP/Shutterstock (12937715aa) Circus Mircus from Georgia singing 'Lock Me In' performs during the second semi final at the Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final, Turin, Italy - 12 May 2022 NOT forgettable: Circus Mircus, who showed up dressed as pirates to the welcome show, but did a totally different thing here. He looks like a deranged old-timey inventor. The song actually has a catchy-ish guitar line in the middle, but the opening is so terrible. But it features such lyrical gems as, "I hate what you got // Shoot it to the stars," and, "Tryin' hard will not get you really far," and of course, "Lock me in, lock me out, lock me sideways." I FEEL sideways. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12935423aa-1652402016.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rolf Klatt/Shutterstock (12935423aa) Circus Mircus of Georgia performs during the Second-Semi-Final of the 66th Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy on May 12th, 2022\. Eurovision 2022, Semi-final 2, Turin, Italy - 12 May 2022 The other band members had on a decorated eye patch, a beard made of flowers, and what looked like a cross between a gas mask and the head of one of the guys in the Mos Eisley cantina. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12935770x-1652402030.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Luca Bruno/AP/Shutterstock (12935770x) Circus Mircus from Georgia singing 'Lock Me In' performs during rehearsals at the Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy Eurovision Song Contest Dress Rehearsal, Turin, Italy - 11 May 2022 What more did people want? An actual good song? SURELY that is not what the point is. ## Malta: Emma Muscat, "I Am What I Am" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12936585fk-1652402045.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Nderim Kaceli/LiveMedia/Shutterstock (12936585fk) Emma Muscat (I am what I am) Malta Music Concert Eurovision 2022, Second Dress Rehearsal, Pala Olimpico, Torino, Italy - 11 May 2022 Emma sounded off-key, sadly, and her empowerment ballad was really trite. I respect her sparkles, if not her fake fire. USE THE REAL THING. ## San Marino: Achille Lauro, "Stripper" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12935423ap-1652402059.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Rolf Klatt/Shutterstock (12935423ap) Achille Lauro of San Marino performs during the Second-Semi-Final of the 66th Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy on May 12th, 2022\. Eurovision 2022, Semi-final 2, Turin, Italy - 12 May 2022 ## San Marino: Achille Lauro, "Stripper" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12936585ff-1652402072.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Nderim Kaceli/LiveMedia/Shutterstock (12936585ff) Achille Lauro (Stripper) San Marino Music Concert Eurovision 2022, Second Dress Rehearsal, Pala Olimpico, Torino, Italy - 11 May 2022 Okay, but back to the beginning: The song is called Stripper, and he marched out in this and then eventually shed the boa. The lyrics are... amazing. At one point he says of Madonna, "Her beagle is my personal Jesus," and he says he loves Britney and then calls her a devil in a Birkin. It's a really bad song, but... ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12937715am-1652402083.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Luca Bruno/AP/Shutterstock (12937715am) Achille Lauro from San Marino singing 'Stripper' performs during the second semi final at the Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final, Turin, Italy - 12 May 2022 How do you VOTE OUT a guy who rides a mechanical bull in a transparent catsuit? ## San Marino: Achille Lauro, "Stripper" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12937715ak-1652402099.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Luca Bruno/AP/Shutterstock (12937715ak) Achille Lauro from San Marino singing 'Stripper' performs during the second semi final at the Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final, Turin, Italy - 12 May 2022 ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED. ## Cyprus: Andromache, "Ela" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12937715cw-1652402114.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Luca Bruno/AP/Shutterstock (12937715cw) Andromache from Cyprus singing 'Ela' performs during the second semi final at the Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final, Turin, Italy - 12 May 2022 This would have been better if that actually WAS meant to be a giant blue mustache. Alas. It was like some kind of nightmare mermaid anthem and it sounded awful. Sorry, Cyprus. ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12935795aj-1652402129.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jussi Nukari/Shutterstock (12935795aj) Andromache of Cyprus performing during the dress rehearsal of the 2nd semi-final of the Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy, on May 11, 2022\. Eurovision Song Contest 2022, Turin, Italy - 11 May 2022 I mean, I watched it, and I'm still unclear why someone had to feed her the microphone. ## Ireland: Brooke, "That's Rich" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12935770au-1652402142.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Luca Bruno/AP/Shutterstock (12935770au) Brooke from Ireland singing 'That's Rich' performs during rehearsals at the Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy Eurovision Song Contest Dress Rehearsal, Turin, Italy - 11 May 2022 When I saw the photo, I thought, "Oh, this is refried Dua Lipa." When I watched the performance, I thought, "Oh, this is refried Dua Lipa from four days ago that you're only heating up because it's about to go bad and you don't want to waste the leftovers." Bless. ## North Macedonia: Andrea, "Circles" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12937715bf-1652402170.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Luca Bruno/AP/Shutterstock (12937715bf) Andrea from North Macedonia singing 'Circles' performs during the second semi final at the Eurovision Song Contest in Turin, Italy Eurovision Song Contest Semi Final, Turin, Italy - 12 May 2022 She's the one that the country threatened to yank after she tossed the flag at the welcome party, which I do believe was a misunderstanding, but... moot point, I guess. It's a very bleak song. She opens with, "I just want a healthy conversation," and apparently no one else agreed. ## Montenegro: Vladana, "Breathe" ![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12936585b-1652402158.jpg) Mandatory Credit: Photo by Nderim Kaceli/LiveMedia/Shutterstock (12936585b) Vladana (Breathe) Montenegro Music Concert Eurovision 2022, Second Dress Rehearsal, Pala Olimpico, Torino, Italy - 11 May 2022 And THIS was a waste of some kind of quirky back wheel. It should have lit up and shot sparks and stuff, but I guess that was insufficiently relaxing? [Eurovision 2022: The Semi-Finals Are Over, and Some True Greatness Missed the CutCome grieve with me.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2022/05/shutterstock_editorial_12937715am-1652402083.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/eurovision-2022-the-semi-finals-are-over-and-some-true-greatness-missed-the-cut-05-2022/)