Caitlin Fields and Ernie Utah Stevens in the Pairs Short
These two finished outside of medal contention -- which will be astoundingly obvious when you see their body language in the next slide -- but I was always, always going to start with catsuits. One of the GFY mottos is, "always lead with catsuits."
Caitlin Fields and Ernie Utah Stevens in the Pairs Free Skate
This skate was to "Don Quixote," and I REALLY was going to say it was "Carmen." I fear this will be an awkward ride home.
Tarah Kayne and Danny O'Shea in the Pairs Short
These kids, however, won the pairs division, and I've decided she looks sort of like Sarah Michelle Gellar. And a figure-skating movie starring Sarah Michelle Gellar would have been my EVERYTHING.
Tarah Kayne and Danny O'Shea in the Pairs Free Skate
And HE kind of looks like Joseph Morgan of The Originals. Let's get those two into a Cutting Edge reboot. Sure, they're both a little old for those parts, but...DETAILS. We can work that out. (I thought they were quite good. Wouldn't it be nice if US Pairs wasn't a garbage fire for once?)
Marissa Castelli and Mervin Tran in Pairs Short Program
It always makes me chuckle when the woman is all BLINGED OUT and the dude is like, "oh, I'm just on my way to my gig as a bartender."
Marissa Castelli and Mervin Tran in the Pairs Free Skate
They are skating to a medley of Journey songs, and this feels a bit inspired by several viewings of the Glee pilot, and the red tee shirts of McKinley High. Which is sweet, but maybe about five years too late, costume-wise? Journey, on the other hand, is ALWAYS timely. Which SEEMS sarcastic, but I truly mean it. I really like this routine. It feels REALLY RIGHT to toss someone in the air during "Don't Stop Believin.'" Next time, just don't FALL SO MUCH.
Alexa Scimeca and Christopher Knierim in the Pairs Short
These costumes are very, "we're BASICALLY just wearing our workout clothes???" In fairness, they ARE skating to Metallica, but I feel that's a missed opportunity to go REALLY HILARIOUSLY 80s. I'm talking much, much bigger hair. On both of them. (They are engaged. I love it when my pairs skaters are engaged.)
Alexa Scimeca and Christopher Knierim in the Pairs Free Skate
They are really showing two very different sides of themselves, though, because their long program is to the soundtrack from Elizabeth. (They came in second. It seemed like a really good program that they promptly vaguely whiffed.)
Mirai Nagasu in the Ladies' Short
This is so so lovely on Mirai and I spend a lot of time worrying that it's not going to happen again for her. How can you emotionally bounce back from the Olympic committee deciding to leave you home even though you finished third in Nationals, to take Ashley Wagner in your place? I'm still mad about that, and that was almost four years ago. I AM ROOTING FOR YOU, MIRAI.
Mirai Nigasu
Apologies for the terrible quality of this shot. I had to take it off my TV, as Getty had ZERO PICTURES OF MIRAI. A former champion, who finished a very close fourth? I...don't know what they were doing. Anyway, she looks VERY Great Gatsby, which makes sense as she is skating to just that. I actually really love this costume, although I think her headband needs to be more across her forehead for historical accuracy.
Karen Chen in the Ladies Short
Karen fell prey to the "Getty's Photographer Went Out for a Hot Dog" curse during her long skate, which was OF COURSE to Les Mis -- can someone please skate to Hamilton soon? -- but her short program costume was very, very pretty. (Her program was a mess, though.)
Mariah Bell
This is from Skate America -- we didn't have a snap of her from this event, but it's the same costume. And if you think, "that's patriotic!" then you should know she is skating to "Born on the 4th of July."
Tyler Pierce
This is very severe -- she is skating to "Danse Macabre," so it fits -- and that's what I like about it. I wish more women would skate as weird, mean, evil characters. You could still be alluring. Skate as Maleficent! Skate as Jane Eyre! SKATE AS CRAZY MRS ROCHESTER IN THE ATTIC!
Gracie Gold in the Ladies Short
While I like that the underside of her skirt is red -- it's so kicky! Like a Louboutin of a dress! -- the rest of it is so plain it almost feels like practice gear?
Gracie Gold in the Ladies Free Skate
OBVIOUSLY this was skated to Firebird. She did take the gold -- it was very close, but she earned it; sidebar to note that I love that we can now see the technical score tick up on the side of the screen as it happens -- and I can live with that, although I think this program is kind of on the nose. Overall, I appreciate Gracie. She suffers from major Resting Bitch Face, but I loathe the idea that female athletes all need to be uber nice all the time. (Just wait until the Olympics when I start bitching about how all the gymnasts have to hug each other instead of just high-fiving.)
Ashley Wagner in the Ladies Short
I have doubts about Ashley's red hair. I also have doubts about Ashley's ability not to fall on her ass. (I do like the fringe, though.)
Ashley Wagner in the Ladies Free Skate
And I CANNOT BELIEVE she is still skating this Moulin Rouge program. Is she...just gonna keep skating this long program until she retires? I mean, I really LIKE this program, but... if you're going to go there, might as well rework your Black Swan long program into the short and just make it a Greatest Hits.
Katie McBeath in the Ladies' Short
Whoever told this sweet (I'm assuming) kid to wear something that looks like it has a giant tear over her boob needs to rethink themselves.
Polina Edmunds in the Ladies Short
This skirt moves SO beautifully. It's really, really elegant. Part of me is sorry Polina didn't win, honestly. I am going to yell at her in the next slide, but I do love her.
Polina Edmunds in the Ladies' Free Skate
Polina here is skating to Gone With the Wind and I ASSUME this is supposed to be the Scarlett Flirts With Everyone At Twelve Oaks The Day The War Breaks Out ensemble -- as that matches the music -- but you are missing an opportunity, my dear. WEAR THE DRESS MADE OF CURTAINS. Always, ALWAYS wear the most iconic of the dresses! Also, even if you ARE wearing the other dress, that had a pattern on it! Learn your costume history, my dear, in the hopes that we may continue to give a damn.
Nathan Chen in the Men's Short
This kid took the bronze, and YES this routine is, in part, to "Smooth Criminal," hence the jacket. He's also the first American skater to land two quads in a short program, AND the first American to pull off four quads in the free skate. Both of which he did in this competition. He's only 16! GOOD FOR YOU, DUDE.
Nathan Chen in the Men's Free Skate
Style notes: His top was so fluttery and long that it ALMOST looked like a dress, but also: WHO CARES? This kid can JUMP. When he hit the final quad, Terry and Tara and Johnny all gasped, "OH MY GOD" in unison. It was great. (Those three continue to do an excellent, educated, informative, fun job.)
Max Aaron in the Men's Short
Max always seems to costume himself so that he looks as much like a bro as possible. Given that he gets docked now and then for not being artistic enough -- and he is a former hockey player -- it's an interesting choice. This skate is to "Nessun Dorma," which is obviously a tremendously transportive and romantic song that never fails to give me feelings, but which MIGHT be to dudes what "Carmen" is for ladies.
Max Aaron in the Men's Free Skate
This is literally just a black tee shirt and black pants. And you don't need to show up dressed like a bird -- he's skating to selections from Black Swan, and it's a VERY good routine -- but make a TINY effort, friend! (I think Johnny agrees with me.)
Adam Rippon in the Men's Short
Adam took the gold, and, you guys, he is ALL IN on the question of sheers.
Adam Rippon in the Men's Free Skate
SOMEONE feels skating needs more near-sightings of man nipples. (You also need to watch his post-win interview with Andrea, in which he tells her that he won because he's a witch. Andrea and I BOTH giggled at him.) I'm not TOTALLY sure this is what I meant by "more effort," but it's definitely fun for a Beatles routine. Which this is.
Maia Shibutani and Alex Shibutani in the Short Dance
I love love love the Shibs, and they look as charming as ever here. Here, they're skating to "Coppélia," a ballet I know only from reading Noel Streatfeild books, but this seems quite on the nose.
Maia Shibutani and Alex Shibutani in the Free Dance
And this is to "Fix You," so obviously it's a tear-jerker. (I was once up at like 3am editing a sad scene in The Royal We and that song came on my mix and I was just CRYING AND TYPING. I am very susceptible to that song. I mean, no matter what you think of Gwyneth and Chris and Coldplay in general...that song is good.) Her dress is actually even prettier on movement, and I think this program is really good because the song is so emotional without necessarily being overtly romantic. They clinched their win with it, and deservedly.
Madison Chock and Evan Bates in the Short Dance
They could honestly wear these to the SAGs on Saturday.
Madison Chock and Evan Bates in the Free Dance
Apparently, I cannot resist downloading photos of them in EXACTLY THIS POSITION. I did see this routine and it's lovely. I am very biased in favor of that Rachmaninoff concerto they skate to, though. It's HIGHLY romantic.
Madison Hubbell and Zachary Donohue in the Short Dance
Her skate configuration makes me sad. Although they're skating to "Hallelujah" -- the kd lang version -- so....sad is on target?
Madison Hubbell and Zachary Donohue in the Free Dance
And their long program is to TRON? This is not what I think when I think of TRON, you guys. Although, their program is for sure more ELEGANT than what I think of when I think of ice dancing to TRON, so....points to them.