Anna Pogorilaya of Russia, Free Skate

Anna is NOT subtle in her costuming, bless her. This was worn to skate to -- OBVIOUSLY -- Scheherazade. She might as well have worn a tee shirt that read CALL ME SCHEHERAZADE BECAUSE THAT'S THE SONG I'M SKATING TO. (She was, however, quite good. And, frankly, this is exactly the kind of costume I appreciate. It does NOT hold back.)

Anna Pogorilaya of Russia, Ladies' Short

She, in fact, possibly ALWAYS looks slightly bonkers. This short program was skated to Bolero. I wish she'd started in, like, six bolero jackets on top of each other, and then removed them one by one to eventually reveal THIS.

Evgenia Medvedeva of Russia, Ladies' Short

Evgenia is last year's World Junior Champion, the current European Champion, and she won this competition as well. If you can levitate like this, you probably deserve it.

Evgenia Madvedeva of Russia, Free Skate

I of course hate this tights configuration. They look like tight beige yoga pants to me; WHAT are you hoping to accomplish with this? Is it an attempt to make your skates look like white shoes? WE KNOW THEY'RE SKATES. That having been said, I actually think this DRESS is extremely pretty on her. (Everyone wore gloves, you guys. I don't even know.) Skating-wise, I also thought she was really great. This routine just felt so layered and complex. Sometimes I look at the Russians and then I look at the American girls and I wonder what we think we're doing. Obviously, we acquitted ourselves well this go-round -- Ashley came in second, making me further wonder when Ashley IS going to retire, although she hasn't done that routine that well in...well, years. GIVEN THAT THAT'S AS LONG AS SHE'S BEEN SKATING IT. Honestly, I am always snarky about Ashley, but she should be proud of herself, because she aced it this time. Evgenia also gave gleeful finger guns in the kiss and cry when she got her score so...I might be in love with her.

Mao Asada of Japan, Free Skate

Mao Asada! I seriously thought she had retired. Tara Lipinski was saying that she feels like Mao was born at the wrong time -- if she'd been born a year later, she would have been better situated for the Olympics, and it is a truth that so much of success on that level DOES come down to your age. If you peak between Olympics... there is nothing you can do about it.

Mao Asada of Japan, Ladies Short

I love Mao. But in all honesty, I thought she looked tired and a little worn out. This color is lovely, though.

Satoko Miyahara of Japan, Free Skate

This costume looked SO much prettier on TV than it does in the still photo. The colors in the skirt are so, so lovely.

Elena Radionova, Free Skate

(a) I actually lile this dress, but she looks like she's skating to a program about the Blitz, rather than to Titanic and (b) it went VERY thong on her, which had to have been very uncomfortable.

Angelina Kuchvalska of Latvia, Ladies' Short

YET MORE GLOVES. The ladies are super into gloves this year. Can we blame Downton Abbey?

Madison Chock and Evan Bates of the United States, Free Dance

This is NOT a new costume, but for some reason, at this go round, I sincerely thought Evan was wearing a pashmina.

Victoria Sinitsina and Nikita Katsalapov of Russia, Ice Dance Short

This dude is showing a REAL commitment to the puffy shirt.

Rebeka Kim and Kirill Minov of Korea, Ice Dance Short

Look at Kirill Minov and tell me he's NOT actually Andy Samberg in disguise. I dare you.

Piper Gilles and Paul Poirier of Canada, Ice Dance Short

I mean, this HAS to be to Sergeant Pepper, right?

Kana Muramoto and Chris Reed of Japan, Free Dance

This is so jaunty. I love a man skater in suspenders.

Charlene Guignard and Marco Fabbri of Italy, Free Dance

He looks jaunty. She looks like an enraged waitress at the end of a brutal shift. (Also, I just looked it up, and apparently this skate is to Schindler's List, which...I STILL don't totally think her costume fits. You have to go Artistic Sad for Schindler's List. You skate to that in fluttering grey chiffon. Perhaps a tasteful, somber catsuit. Something slightly esoteric and wee bit abstract.)

Boyang Jin of China, Men's Short

This skate is, as I have been led to believe, a tango. I can accept this outfit for a tango.

Boyang Jin of China, Free Skate

And this is to music from How to Train Your Dragon . Johnny Weir would have dressed as the dragon. Men, it's never a bad idea to wonder, What Would Johnny Weir Have Worn?

Yuzuru Hanyu of Japan, Men's Short

Yuzuru came in second, and here's he's skating to Chopin, so this makes sense.

Yuzuru Hanyu of Japan, Free Skate

Here, though, per Wiki, he's "portraying 10th century Natural Philosopher and Astrologer, Abe no Seimei." BLESS YOU SIR, not enough people are skating as astrologers. I hope this routine includes zooming past the judges and yelling out things like, "I SEE A LONG TRIP IN YOUR FUTURE" and "I SENSE FRUSTRATION AROUND YOUR JOB."

Javier Fernandez of Spain, Men's Short

Javier Fernandez is our big winner, for the second year in a row. He is REALLY good and I always love him for his aerobics class exhibition skate at the Olympics.

Javier Fernandez of Spain, Free Skate

Also, his Free Skate is to Guys and Dolls, which seems VERY smart.

Deniss Vasiljevs of Latvia, Free Skate

I just want a round of applause for this kid. OF COURSE this is to Tron. It's perfect.

Ivan Righini of Italy, Men's Short

This seems alarmingly close to someone flying in to drain you of your life's blood and claim you for his army of the night.

Michal Brezina of Czech Republic, Free Skate

"Wait. What? This isn't the Mr Universe Parade of Nations? I HATE YOU GUYS."

Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron of France, Ice Dance Short

They look fairly classic here -- he's doing the "Don't Look At Me! I'm Just Wearing All Black! I'm a Regular Dude!!" Man Skater outfit. Did you know her father owns a food truck in Austin? Now you do. They've also been skating with each other since they were 10. I obviously assume they're in love???

Gabriella Papadakis and Guillaume Cizeron of France, Free Dance

I actually love these. Not having technically seen this skate yet, as NBC's airing it Sunday as well. I am just trusting that when he turns around, his pants don't have a sheer bum.

Tatiana Volosozhar and Maxim Trankov of Russia, Short Program

"We're just REALLY EXCITED about Wills and Kate's trip to India this month!"

Evgenia Tarasova and Vladimir Morozov of Russia, Free Skate

This seems a bit in the nose. Well, in fairness, perhaps to be REALLY on the nose, that beading needed to be in the form of a skate. But they're skating to a classic medley and this dress seems like the most obvious way to express that.

Kirsten Moore-Towers and Michael Marinaro of Canada, Free Skate

One of you tweeted us that pairs was "ALL ABOUT BUTTCHEEKS" this year and I fear that was accurate.

Vanessa James and Morgan Cipres of France, Short Program

ALWAYS a shout-out to the catsuits! I love that Morgan seems to be saying, "CHECK OUT HER CATSUIT!" here. "Isn't it practical AND snazzy?"

Aliona Savchenko and Bruno Massot of Germany, Short Program

She's wearing the traditional skating look I like to call SEXY BRIDE.

Aliona Savchenko and Bruno Massot of Germany, Free Skate

While this look is, "ombre is SO HOT right now."

Wenjing Sui and Cong Han of China, Short Program

APPARENTLY, the scuttlebutt is that both of these two lied about their ages. HE lied to stay in the junior competition, and SHE lied to get into the senior competition. This was several years ago, and Wiki didn't tell me how this was resolved, but apparently everything is cool now.

Wenjing Sui and Cong Han of China, Free Skate

This photo is so dramatic. Like a snap from a soap about two figure skaters who will stop at nothing to win. Including falsifying documents.

Meagan Duhamel and Eric Radford of Canada, Short Program

Meagan, that appears distressingly like a crop top. Why would you do that? Canada has concerns.

Meagan Duhamel and Eric Radford of Canada, Free Skate

But an elegant finish, to be sure. Applause!

Fab and Fabber: The World Figure Skating Championships

All right! TIME FOR WORLDS! As you may know, I only cover the Americans in this post if their costumes has changed since I wrote about them during the US National Championships, so if you're wondering where they are...now you know. Regardless, there is much to discuss; as usual, I'll cover the winners and anyone who seems like they might be wearing something we'd like to eyeball. For example, WHY ALL THE GLOVES THIS YEAR? I unfortunately wasn't able to watch a lot of this, because my DVR decided not to record much of it, AGAIN, and NBC hasn't aired the men's free skate yet (it airs on Sunday). If you don't want to be spoiled on who won anything at this World Championships, I suggest you do NOT click into this post. As ever, I invite skating experts and aficionados please weigh in on any and all thoughts, including who choked, who surprised (Ashley hasn't skated that long program that well in a LONG TIME), and WHY are so many people skating to Titanic again? Juicy gossip and tales from those of you who attended this event welcome as always. To the ruffles, the illusion netting, and the hideous tights! [Photos: Getty]