Guest
This is supposedly a Royal Baby themed hat. I see a rattle, a brush, a crown, a bottle, a sceptre of some kind... and I could SWEAR some kind of bottle opener. Which is actually very practical because every new parent has thought, "MY GOD I NEED A DRINK WHERE IS MY BOTTLE OPENER."
Guest
That is a LOT of pieces of flair.
Guest
And this is a "Help for Heroes" hat. Which is a nice idea, but since it may not ACTUALLY be helping the heroes that much since you wouldn't know what it was unless you asked, I have to assume it's ALSO a "Let's get on camera with my architectural ode to philanthropy." However, I fully support that impulse, because I like to be entertained and it's Ladies' Day and it's not like she's showing up to the movies wearing this.
Guest
So, this woman is supposedly named Larisa Katz, and if she's the one who came up when I Googled her, she does "art couture" and actually looks to be the same woman in the middle and right photos in this Cannes slideshow. Mystery solved. Imagine the Elizabethan ladies who must have wished they could wear a gilded parasol ON THEIR HEADS. YES. Be your OWN umbrella handle, ladies. All the women who're independent, throw your hands up at me.
Larisa Katz
She looks like a carnival ride from the most magical Ren Faire ever. I want her to tell my fortune. I cannot believe nobody (among our subscriptions) got a photo of her entire outfit because WHAT IS THE REST OF IT? Also, this sets a new standard for "I don't want to be standing behind this woman while the race is happening" at an event where NOBODY wants to be standing behind ANYBODY because everyone is walking around in giant view-obstructors.
Guests
I LOVE the view of the hats from above. It's like the world's most elegant solar system diagram. Is that a duck on the one red brim? Or a tiny bottle of champers? What IS it?
Guests
I like to think that Mr. Top Hat just stood there all day and interesting people swarmed around him. In this case, the lady with the horse on her head.
Woof
I don't know whether this was mean to do to the poor dog, or a way to get into the spirit of things. Or both.
Pixie Lott
I can't remember what a Pixie Lott is -- Wikipedia tells me she's a singer -- but this is lovely and totally perfect for the day. And ONLY this day. Basically, if she wore that on the red carpet it might come off a bit twee, but at Royal Ascot or any other grand race event, it's basically a dream.
Francesca Hull
This woman is a reality TV star in the UK. I am not wild about how the design of her dress appears INTENDED to make it look like it's stretching and pulling, but the hat is a marvelous menace. Like she's graduating from Willy Wonka's Academy of Chocoholism.
Victoria Pendleton (Olympic medalist)
I love this TOO. Her hat is like a wonderful valentine.
Princess Anne
Very dignified, very Camilla in terms of color palate. I assume that woman behind her will be imprisoned for impudently echoing the Princess Royal's color scheme.
Prince Andrew
Considering how keenly I remember his wedding, Prince Andrew's age never fails to make ME feel old. But he looks distinguished, at any rate.
QEII, Autumn Phillips, Peter Phillips
Autumn (wife of Peter, Anne's son) is in a festive color with a nicely tilted lid. But the Queen steals the show. I think she looks magnificent. I LOVE the hat, love the outfit, love the tie-in with the floral blouse you can just barely see. It's fabulous. This might be my favorite hat of hers.
Bea and Eugenie
"Hmm. Should we bet on Gran's horse?" "I'm not sure, Eug. The bottom of a New Year's Eve toilet plunger has been thrust on my head and I'm quite unable to concentrate on anything else."
QEII
"I've got a feeling about this Estimate filly of mine, JUST like I had a feeling that Sarah Ferguson would be the RUINATION OF ALL OF US."
Bea and Eugenie
"HOLY [INSERT ROYALLY UNBECOMING LANGUAGE HERE], BEA, I PUT 300 QUID of MUM'S ON THAT THING AND IT'S GOING TO WIN." "Think we can tell Mum we forgot to put her bet on?"
QEII
Look how thrilled she is! If she could take this day OR William's wedding day, she might honestly pick this one.
QEII
Look at the GLEAM in her eye. SHE'S HUNGRY FOR MORE. Also, I need to say again how much I adore what she's wearing. All the men used to throw their toppers in the air when the Queen won, but there were NO pictures of that anywhere, so maybe they didn't? Which makes me sad. But I got hit of a wave of nostalgia -- two actually: My Dad would've LOVED THIS (I loved going to RA with him), and also, I miss the Queen Mum.
QEII and jockey Ryan Moore
"Quite tolerable, my lad. You can stay out of the Tower."
Andrew and his mum
AND Andrew got to present the cup to her, which he appears to be UTTERLY tickled to do. The whole thing is so great.
QEII
"THE PRECIOUS IS MINE. ALL HAIL THE PRECIOUS."