Miss Natalia Beach
The question is, is her NAME Natalia Beach, or did she win some beauty contest that dubbed her Miss Natalia Beach 2013. I suspect she just wanted her name in the paper, but hey, I appreciate the cranial effort.
Jemma Kidd
Wikipedia says Jemma, a model, is "an English countess by courtesy." Well, England, it would also be courteous for you to make ME a countess, so can you get on that? Thank you.
Sophie Countess of Wessex
Love the hat, not loving the semi-shapeless garb again. But she is beaming, and that's nice. If I were Sophie, I'd have demanded Essex and Sussex, as well, so that my title could be Sophie Countess of the Sexes. Missed opportunity there.
Malin Jefferies and Tim Jefferies
He is apparently an art dealer and was once one of England's most eligible bachelors -- the Daily Mail was all, 'He's dated basically every famous blonde ever' -- and is now married to this lady, who used to be a model. And she's modeling the heck out of this, although I will never understand how people do veils all day without ripping them off or going cross-eyed.
Brix Smith-Start
She is an American singer-songwriter with boutiques in England (she married a Brit). Somehow everything about this photo looks like That Sassy Character From EastEnders Goes To Royal Ascot.
Dawn O'Porter
Dawn was "Dawn Porter" until she married Chris O'Dowd, and then she fused the two. She looks great, and as much as I love a heel, I have to respect that she picked flats for an entire day on her feet. I understand it and they still manage to look nice with the outfit.
Lisa Scott-Lee
She's a former member of the pop band Steps. I am not loving her fusion of beige and white, but I AM enamored of whatever the hell is happening on her head. It's like a daisy mated with a valance.
Julia Bradbury
I just love the ones that intentionally look like the wind blew them vertical.
Leah Weller
She is the daughter of Style Council's Paul Weller, and although they were a band and not an actual arbitrator of fashion, I think they would have rejected that hat on the grounds of being terribly, terribly half-assed. Quarter-assed, even.
Princess Michael of Kent
Now THERE is a hat, Leah.
QEII
She followed up her triumphant Ladies' Day purple with this, which I ALSO love, and clearly her good mood was still going strong. She looks so delighted. Love.
QEII
This was on the last day, and seems a bit less wildly exuberant than what came before, as if she's worn out and wanted to ease back into regular life. It's nice on her but it also looks like a china pattern somehow.