Naomi Campbell

As usual, she looks dramatic and good. I think this is one of her big events, so it makes sense that she'd own it. If I recall correctly, it's one of those where everyone wears stuff from an amalgam of different designers.

Naomi Campbell

I'm not sure who designed this -- she's a darling of many a fashion house; I would MAYBE guess Versace? -- but it's appropriately dramatic for her to close this show.

Winnie Harlow in Roberto Cavalli

I believe that is a peacock on this gown, and while I quite like this, it also seems like the Designer Impostor version of all the Gucci animal gowns: Similar to the high-end ones, but available at drugstores nationwide.

Winnie's is Moschino, from this delightfully batty and elaborate collection, and I feel like she's selling it better.

Petra Nemcova in Ronald van der Kemp

Oh, PETRA. This is like a lace apron, done formalwear-style.

And while she has not fully fallen out of it here, apparently she did at one point just topple right out of that bodice.

Daphne Groeneveld

Wardrobe malfunctions abounded, in fact. Daphne's bodice slipped down so far that someone leapt out onto the carpet (presumably someone she knew) and yanked it back up and tucked in the lining.

Maria Borges in Alaia

A totally important designer! She looks wonderful.

Cindy Bruna in Ermanno Scervino

I cannot actually fathom how long her legs must be.

Bella Hadid in Julien Macdonald

Too much midriff to be truly stylish.

Adrien Brody

I don't know why, but he's always LEANING in his photos, like he is the human tower of Pisa. Also, sir, I think you missed the dress code.

Lara Lieto

Considering he came with this lovely lady, and she is garbed up to the nines, perhaps Adrien needs to PAY ATTENTION. Also she needs a lined skirt.

Natalia Vodianova

Stunning.

Erin O'Connor in Temperley London

Strangely depressing.

MIchelle Rodriguez in J. Mendel

Is that understyled, understated, or underwhelming? I might go with the first two. Wait, maybe that means all three have to be true.

Sara Sampaio in Cavalli

OH GOOD GRIEF. YOU ARE NO BETTER THAN LADY VICTORIA HERVEY.

Lady Victoria Hervey

OH GOOD GRIEF ALSO, except this seems pretty right-on for her, actually. At least she's consistent.

Constance Jablonski

Constance JaBLAHski, AM I RIGHT. MIC DROP.

Cannes Also Has a Charity Fashion Show, Because It Is Stuffed To The Gills With Events

No complaints, Cannes. No complaints.