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The 100th Martell Anniversary Celebration, March

HE'S never been happier! SHE looks....fine. I mean, it's fine. It's boring. You can't run in it. You certainly can't leap out of your hot air balloon, cradled in the arms of Sven, your bodyguard/lover/escape-facilitator in it. Maybe the capelet turns into a parachute.

ATP Masters Series Monte Carlo - April 16

"ALONE AT LAST. GOD I am so happy. Look how happy I am. Alone. Have you ever SEEN ME THIS HAPPY? NO."

ATP Masters Series Monte Carlo - April 22

Here we go again. I don't even know what she is wearing. It's weird. It's like, I get that this is a tennis tournament and I like the idea of the blazer over tennis whites, but...full-length? Seriously? In the daytime? If this had been cocktail length -- or at another event -- I would have been all over it. As it is: CAN'T RUN IN IT.

ATP Masters Series Monte Carlo - Day Eight

"Psst. Rafa. Let's you and me lose the stiff and run off to the Galapagos Islands together. It'll be great. I promise. Or just stuff me in your luggage on the way out. IT'LL BE A CAPER." Also: this is a good look at the new hair. Which I don't hate, but I do think is a little severe on her?

Princess Charlene Visits The Turtles

And here she is, visiting tom turtles/tortoises that were gifts from the Republic of Mali. "I bring you TORTOISES as a token of the great esteem that exists between our two nations!" is some Old School Royal Court shizz. I love it. And while I do not love what she is wearing, I love that it feels like a salute to Amelia Earhart. FLY AWAY, PRINCESS CHARLENE. FLY!

Fehs and Huh?s: Princess Charlene
Well, we checked in with Kate Middleton, might as well see how her sad-faced sister-in-arms is faring over in Monaco. (Relieve her considerably less joyous-seeming nuptials here, if you like.) I just wish she'd wear a color. Act HAPPY, Char. Then they'll never know you're planning to escape from the palace via hot air balloon in the dead of night with the dreamy bodyguard you've seduced into helping facilitate your escape!

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