Anne Hathaway in Armani

That's pretty. I like it better now than I did then; I think at the time, I wasn't wild about the colors on her. I still might not be? Wow, this is a very indecisive start.

Jessica Biel in Prada

Oh look, it's Jessica "Human Handtowel" Biel.

Penelope Cruz in vintage Balmain

I was surprised to read this dress's provenance; it looks NOTHING like anything Balmain would currently produce.

Taraji P. Henson in Cavalli

That's a super necklace, and she looks like a mad-foxy Mummy.

Melissa George in D&G

Nope. This design does less than nothing for me OR for her.

Marisa Tomei in Versace

That skirt is neat -- I might have LOVED this if the bodice were less pocked with seams.

Sarah Jessica Parker in Dior

This is just SO MUCH cleav on a platter for her; she doesn't usually go that way with her dresses.

Nicole Kidman in L'Wren Scott

This looks so droopy on her. My comment at the time was that I don't think white is remotely Nicole Kidman's best choice and I stand by that.

Miley Cyrus in Zuhair Murad

A lot of people at the time found this to be cheesy, but I think she looks really nice in this seashell confection.

Sophia Loren

This is when I was reminded that Sasha Alexander, aka Joey 's sister, aka the Isles to Angie Harmon's Rizzoli.

with Meryl

"MERYL! So GOOD to see you! I'm SO SORRY that you are in dishwater-grey but I will LOVE YOU THROUGH IT."

Melissa Leo

Melissa Leo should not have considered that dress, but she was correct to consider those earrings.

Leslie Mann in Pamella Roland

I have apparently always been into her taste.

Viola Davis in Reem Acra

And she has always been a goddess.

Tilda Swinton

These pieces are tragic.

Beyonce in House of Dereon

Remember when Bey wore her mother's stuff? I actually think that fabric is nice, and the workmanship in the ottoman she's dragging around with her is nice, but it's not my favorite cut.  The pose also makes me laugh. She has no idea what to do with her right arm. See? It was hard even for Bey, once upon a time.

Vanessa Hudgens in Marchesa

Yikes. What was Georgina DOING.

Angelina Jolie in Elie Saab

I guess Angelina has been sartorially boring for a while, too. Although THOSE are super earrings (when in doubt, go green). That hair makes me laugh. It's VERY soap opera

Marion Cotillard in Dior

I would love to have seen where this went, if not to The Tulle Shed.

Madonna

She is still basically wearing this stuff ten years later. Just with more chains.

Gwen (in Chanel) and Gavin

Not one of Karl's shredded finest.

Sharon Stone

I love that the only part of this that wasn't TRYING to look sheer actually IS sheer.

Salma Hayek

That is a Hefty bag with big emotions.

Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline

Kevin looks like he just heard something EXTREMELY rude and isn't quite sure whether he should challenge it.

Amy Adams in Carolina Herrera

That dress is lovely. That necklace is MAJOR. But... am I crazy, or do they not entirely like each other? I almost think that necklace needs a blanker slate, like a white dress.

Virginia Madsen

I like that bodice on her. I think if the skirt had been looser, this would've been great.

Heidi Klum in Roland Mouret

This is a mess. Which is a shame because it's at least DIFFERENT for her, although I guess back then, she hadn't... developed her track record yet.

Rachel Weisz

Well, there are REALLY REALLY STRONG ODDS that she will look better this year.

Jessica Biel in Oscar de la Renta

That dress is BETTER than the hand towel, but the skirt is pulling and has strange diagonal seam choices and her hair is still a total disaster. 

Natalie Portman in Rodarte

HOIKETY HOIK-HOIK.

Alicia Keys in Armani

Okay, that's mostly okay, but why... why does it want us to think her right boob is two cup sizes smaller than the other one.

Robin Roberts

I love her, but the bodice seems a bit off.

Amanda Seyfried in Valentino

Oh, mercy, no. That thing looks like it weighs 50 pounds and it's so aging.

Freida Pinto in John Galliano

Beautiful color on her.

Reese Witherspoon in Rodarte

This is just Rodarte stepping all over its better impulses.

Kate Winslet in YSL

This dress punted on all its decisions.

Claire Danes in Zac Posen

And this feels like Zac designed a dress, then got mad at it and scribbled all over it with black lacy fabric.

Rose Byrne

"I don't know. I don't know about the shoes, the patch, ANY OF IT. The last thing I remember was deep-conditioning my hair."

Kate Bosworth in McQueen

"I am PLEASED WITH ME!!!!"

Naomi Watts

WOW. This is the most disheveled she has EVER LOOKED.

Jennifer Aniston in Valentino

I still cannot believe this happened. At least her dress was good?

Zoe Saldana in D&G

That bodice is sad.

Lauren Conrad

But this is the saddest of all. Oh, L.C. I hope you donated this long ago.

Flashback Fug: The 2009 Oscars, Starring Beyonce

And maybe the worst Naomi Watts has looked.