Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen
I've been thinking about this clutch ever since we first ran the photo. It seems to say Yves Saint Laurent on the front. Oh, YSL, you cruel, costly mistress.
Willow Smith
The junior Smith wore these sandals to the Kids' Choice awards. I feel like a lot of really short Romans will be really mad nobody invented wedge gladiator sandals until AFTER that part of their civilization died out.
will.i.am
Note to self: NEVER get in a position where will.i.am is compelled to kick me.
Virginia Madsen
Emerald satin pumps. I can't decide if these are compelling, bridesmaidy, or some weird combo of the two.
Vanessa Hudgens
Vanessa Hudgens loves herself some rings. But I love myself that clutch. Apparently I'm really into purses right now, especially clutches, which is hilarious considering I could NEVER possibly fit enough of my junk in one. Must be why I don't own, but simply covet.
Carrie Underwood
Ostensibly I am showing you the clutch. But let's be honest: We're all staring at that tiny, subtle bauble on her ring finger. How on earth does she see it.
Taylor Momsen
Kid, you are going to break an ankle. And when you do, a lot of people are going to text you their "I TOLD YOU SO"s. Consider that a friendly warning.
Steven Tyler
At first I thought these might be bejewelled Crocs. That they are merely bejewelled sneakers might not really be that much of a relief.
Vera Farmiga
Vera Farmiga wore these to the Source Code premiere. They seem spectacularly uncomfortable, don't they? AND complicated. And not that cute. So. Loads of advantages to wearing them, then.
Sarah Silverman
Conversely, Sarah Silverman wore pretty cute wedge booties to the same premiere. I can't believe I'm on board with something Sarah Silverman wore. WHO AM I BECOMING?
Sara Evans
These are a little too Vegas for my taste. Then again, as much as I love that city, sometimes even Vegas is too Vegas for my taste.
Ruthie Davis
Ruthie Davis is apparently a designer, who -- if my Google search results are to be believed -- appears to specialize in shoes. So I'm not really sure why she'd want to steer attention AWAY from her feet with Seussian nylons.
Rosario Dawson
The purse? I'll take it! And if you want to throw in the ring, that'll be fine. But I don't require the nude fishnets. Rosario may keep them.
Miranda Cosgrove
The heels are Miu Miu, and -- wait for it -- they make me say, "Ew ew." ZING. I GOTCHA.
Miley Cyrus
Really, Miley? I mean, why not just wear full-on brass knuckles? If you're going to imprison your fingers, do it right.
Michelle Forbes
Yikes! It's half-shoe, half-lingerie bag for my laundry.
Kristin Lehman
Hmm. Does this color scheme scream South Florida, a bit? Or would it need teal to do that?
Naya Rivera
Gigantic aqua wedges. Now THESE look like something you'd buy at a knick-knack store in Palm Beach, maybe to use for some potpourri.
Justin Bieber
I've noticed Bieber often has a scarf hanging out of his butt pockets. Maybe someone told him that's what an "ass-cot" is. GET IT? ASCOT? "ASS"cot? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA. No.
Hilary Duff
I kind of enjoy this purse Hilary Duff is carrying. It reminds me a bit of when I went to the Super Bowl, and we hung around after the Steelers won to revel in the victory, and so we were hanging over the front row of the stadium getting a dude to scoop up some of the confetti as a souvenir for one of my friends' kids. This would be called "Confetti Cannon: Aftermath" if it were in an art exhibit.
Heidi Klum
These Jimmy Choos are very, very Heidi. I'm not sure how many other people could pull off something like this.
Debby Ryan
Debby is a Disney actress. And that thing is practically cartoon jewelry, it's so huge. So: apt!
Carrie Underwood
Interesting ring choice, but I think it may have been SLIGHT overkill to try and match it to the dress. I'd like to see it with something else.
Carrie Underwood
I do, however, think this purse is a nice choice. It's complementary but not matchy. Big shocker. I like a clutch. I really need there to be a run on heinous clutches in Hollywood just so I can do a slideshow of those alone.
Candace Cameron Bure
I used to have Steve Madden shoes that were kind of like this, but they were a brighter red, and sadly, totally uncomfortable. I gave them away. Suddenly, I miss them.
Aimee Teegarden
This clutch is not revolutionary, but it's fine -- unfortunately, all it's REALLY doing is remind me that I forgot to fug this outfit. Because yeah, it's shorts. Hmm. Maybe it'll get the treatment on Friday.
Michelle Monaghan
Michelle wore these with that white dress I hated, and that hair and makeup that made angels cry. I said then I didn't like the nude pumps with the white dress, and I still don't, even with the coordinating white accent. I think nude and white together are boring, and I think white and white together are ALSO boring. So? All-around boring.