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# Fug and Fab: The Models at the Met
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-and-fab-the-models-at-the-met/
- Published: 2012-05-09T19:00:13.000Z
- Updated: 2012-05-09T23:33:46.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:30

## Karolina Kurkova

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/05/144004339.jpg)

This pose CRACKS ME UP with the outfit. It's amazing. The whole thing is majestic. It's synchronized swimming + Sunset Boulevard + that old woman in the *Crocodile Dundee* party scene where Paul Hogan thinks she's a man and tries to grab her nonexistent balls + Joan Collins. Rachel Zoe is the one who dressed Karolina, and it's hilarious brilliance. I actually think this is how Rachel should start dressing herself, [because she looked a mess](https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-news/news/rachel-zoe-unveils-scary-skinny-body-at-met-gala-201285?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io). I won't comment on the weight issue -- we try not to go there, and I don't know her life, so let's stay off this in the comments too please -- but I am a big believer in dressing the shape you have, whatever that may be, and that ain't it. Among other things: HOIST IT UP, girl. Because whatever you think of her or her image, Rachel is a great stylist. STYLE THYSELF, friend.

## Tom and Gisele

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144003834.jpg)

Gisele looks fine, glittery bordello yada yada, but can we talk about the fauxhawk swoop Tom is sporting? Do we think that was his idea? It looks like an ode to surfing.

## Gisele and Tom

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144008169.jpg)

I keep making cracks in my head about, "OKAY, Gisele, WE REMEMBER, you two are having hot sex," but actually, I applaud them for not trying to pretend they AREN'T. How many times do we sigh and roll our eyes that, say, Andy Roddick never turns up for Brooklyn Decker, or the Garner-Afflecks like to act like we don't know they are hitched and have three kids, or whatever? So I say, let it rip, BradyBunds. Smooch it up. Be proud of yourselves. I would be.

## Linda Evangelista

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144011553.jpg)

I expected something way more from Linda Evangelista -- I mean, does Naomi Campbell EVER miss a chance to vamp it up when she's invited somewhere? But then Jessica posited that perhaps Linda was too worn out from her child-support scrap with Salma Hayek's husband to bring out anything truly exciting, so she went with a limp peplum (a phrase I suspect I have used a couple times recently, but I love the way it sounds: limp peplum. It's my Limp Bizkit cover band I'm about to start). .

## Karlie Kloss

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/spl388932_018.jpg)

More sheerocity. Which is totally a word. Now. Personally, I would've liked to see how this looks with the skirt being solid instead of a screen for the lace, because something in the draping is very striking. But can I say that THANK GOD this event featured someone for whom shocking pink was a signature color? It inspired all kinds of hues. Bless.

## Jessica Stam

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144009696.jpg)

This is both ridiculous, and attractively ornate -- like, it might be more appropriate holding toilet paper rolls or a potted plant in a Buckingham Palace loo, where I assume even functional urns are ornamental. But it is also precisely the kind of Met Ball grandeur that makes this event my absolute favorite, both as a blogger and as a spectator. What do we think of Stammy as a brunette, though? She came up as a blonde, and I think that might suit her better. Maybe she should go red for a while. It worked when Coco did it. Apparently I'm very invested in people's hair.

## Joan Smalls

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144014248.jpg)

This also looks very poncey and ornamental -- like, "These are the Northumberland Chairs in the Queen's Aquamarine Drawing Room, right across from the portrait of the Duke of Wellington in his underclothes."

## Anne V

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144011691.jpg)

Anne here is apparently recovering from her breakup with Adam Levine by having an affair with the curtain her local fortune-teller uses to keep her clients from peeking into her kitchen.

## Anja Rubik

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144001937.jpg)

I would look angry, too, if I'd just found out the hard way that I was making out with a werewolf. LADY. I SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO SEE YOUR HIP FLEXOR. ESPECIALLY NOT AT THE SAME TIME AS YOUR STERNUM.

## Karen Elson

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144011765.jpg)

I kept mistaking Karen Elson for Julianne Moore; Jessica briefly, and from the side and a distance, thought it was Christina Hendricks -- but that was because the outfit looked nutballs and she had red hair, and we didn't stop to consider that if it were Christina Hendricks her chin would have two prominent pillowy visitors. However, we stand by the assertion that the outfit is crazy unflattering.

## Amber Valletta

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144001852.jpg)

I can't decide if this is cool, or whether it gives her chest a beak.

## Caroline Trentini

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144010255.jpg)

This is sort of neat -- it has a nice vintage flavor to it.

## Brooklyn Decker

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144013513.jpg)

This feels like the A.B.S. By Allan Schwartz knockoff of somebody else's better dress.

## Chanel Iman

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144008675.jpg)

She looks terrified to leave Tom Ford's side, as if she might then be asked about her dress and expected to give an honest answer. And it's probably not P.C. to suggest that your dress looks like a papier-mache representation of an earthquake.

## Stella Tennant

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144002333.jpg)

The court jester is here!

## Kate Upton

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144008123.jpg)

Poor Kate. She was invited by Michael Kors, but the Post reported that she whipped out a checkbook and paid Anna Wintour $25k to attend -- unusual for models and A-listers -- and that Anna took the check on the spot. So you'd think the girl would then make ABSOLUTELY SURE to kill it dead on the red carpet, right? And... well, she killed something dead, that's for sure. Namely, her makeup supply. As she appears to be wearing all of it at once.

## Kate Upton

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/05/144008566.jpg)

To be fair, it's not that she looks HEINOUS, but the dress is really unflattering and her makeup is incredibly unsubtle. Really overdone. There's no natural beauty shining through; she feels painted, and looks kind of like the background of the old Family Feud scoreboard. Considering how poorly received her SI cover was -- by non-horny people who were concerned that the magazine let her wear dental floss as a bikini bottom, and then chose a photo of her face that was SO unflattering to her actual good looks that it appeared to underline the sexist conclusion that a girl's face is beside the point -- and then that story where Victoria's Secret sniped that she essentially wasn't classy enough for them, Kate has had a rough year. I hope someone takes her under his/her wing (Kors, where WERE you?), and makes sure she's appropriately knockout next time.

[Fug and Fab: The Models at the MetKarolina Kurkova has set a high bar for herself, given that she showed up at the Met Ball in 2005 wearing a valentine. So in that sense, of course she went full turban. Where else was there to go? Also included: Gisele and Tom, lest you forget they are married; Jessica Stam, almost unrecognizable to me as a brunette even though she's been one for a while now; Linda Evangelista, who presumably is once again willing to get out of bed for less than $10,000; and poor Kate Upton, about whom it's rumored that she had to buy her own ticket. That's way harsh, Tai. \[Photos: Getty, Smash\]![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/05/144004339.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-and-fab-the-models-at-the-met-05-2012/)