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# Fug and Fab the Opening Ceremony: The Outfits
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-and-fab-the-opening-ceremony-the-outfits/
- Published: 2012-07-30T19:00:05.000Z
- Updated: 2012-07-30T23:49:17.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: #wp, #wp-gallery, #slideshow, #Import 2026-10-07 07:31

## The USA

![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/07/149372622_10.jpg)

Much controversy over the berets. They definitely DO look surprisingly Frenchy, but it's not entirely random -- the overall aesthetic was supposed to be military, and many of our soldiers' uniforms employ beret-like lids, if not ACTUAL berets, in the case of the aptly named Green Berets. So it's not inappropriate. And that one dude on the right there actually looks very hot in his. What I am LESS sure about is the lower half on the ladies, like they're going to a sock hop to do the hand jive, or perhaps play a rousing game of tennis in 1914 with a wooden racket.

## France

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149369895.jpg)

Whereas the French look like a mob of yachtsmen headed to the club after a race. A FUN mob, to be sure. A cheery mob.

## Canada

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149369507_10.jpg)

Roots always makes Canada the envy of the world at the Winter Olympics (although Fug Nation tells me that Hudson Bay Company has been doing the last few, so this is their fault). So weirdly, I'm a little bored by this. I don't hate the hoodies, though, really, but the loose-fit khaki is bumming me out.

## Mexico

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149372276_10.jpg)

THIS, I love. It's bright, it's joyful, it has huge personality. Total pageantry. You win this round, Mexico.

## Belgium

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149369453_10.jpg)

These outfits are adorable -- I like the LBD-ish version the best and the red pants the least, I think, but the cuff buttons are very smart. And the whole vibe of this photo is very Sassy Slow-Motion Hero Walk From Disaster Movie In Which Said Walkers Are About To Save The World (And One Of Them Is A Folksy Drunk). Like, they're all pharmaceutical reps who are about to go up into space and shoot a giant caplet of drugs into the mouth of a rip in the space-time continuum that's about to eat the Sun.

## The Independents

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149369715.jpg)

These guys ran out and danced and goofed off and basically enjoyed the hell out of themselves, and now we all love them like crazy even if we didn't understand the situation. (Basically, I think it's issues of citizenship -- like, these three are from a dissolved country, and the IOC authorizes certain people in specialized situations to compete as individuals instead, under the Olympic flag.) The next step is clearly to form some kind of Union of Independent Athletes that can costume them in dramatically wacky outfits that befit their party attitudes.

## Great Britain

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149372420_10.jpg)

Okay, again, I'm not saying you have to be SUPER LITERAL about your colors, and maybe the gold was supposed to inspire them to win a lot of it in the medal hunt, but these athletes could be from anywhere. You know it's not great when Stella McCartney -- who designed the athletes' actual competitive gear -- specifically releases a statement clarifying that she did NOT design these (they were by Next, a so-called "high street store"). I do think it's nice that it makes the flag prominent, I suppose. But if someone pranked them and accidentally handed them the flag of, oh, I don't know, Planet Kardashia, people might not question it.

## Great Britain

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149375094_10.jpg)

And the gilded pits are insane (not to be confused with The Gilded Pits, which is clearly a pub that serves REALLY fancy fruit salads). The benefit is that nobody can see you sweat, I guess, and maybe it's fun to think that when you're waving, people will get a surprise. But the drawback is... everyone is staring at your armpits, and Armpit Surprise is generally on nobody's menu.

## Australia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149369955.jpg)

Aw. She loves you, too, sir. The Aussies' green blazers are interesting, too -- not a color I usually associate with them, but they ARE the same color as the ones I wore as part of my high school uniform, so I have fond memories. And then some other shakier ones. Like the time we had to go cross-country skiing. Sweet GOD, that was hell on planks.

## Brazil

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149369984.jpg)

These ladies look like the hottest exchange students at Hogwarts.

## Germany

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149370006_10.jpg)

Okay, this was terrible. Baby blue for boys, and baby pink for girls? Really, Germany? Aside from there being almost no national pride in that color scheme, this shot makes me really stressed that I'm about to get swallowed up by a mob of baby-shower fanatics.

## Denmark

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149371789_10.jpg)

This looks like a convention of Mary Kay salespeople and their drivers.

## Finland

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149371975_10.jpg)

The tin foil look to these uniforms makes them, for me, an Ode to Restaurant Leftovers.

## Liberia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149372210.jpg)

These kind of look like patriotic rain ponchos (I'm talking about the look of the material, not trying to talk smack about potential native garb shapes that I don't know anything about). In fact, I wonder if they were. It IS London, after all.

## Czech Republic

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149372221_10.jpg)

So, I thought this was hilariously cracked out, until I read that the Czech team did Wellies and matching umbrellas as a way of ribbing the Brits for the anticipated rainy weather. Now, I find it hilariously hilarious. And brilliant, because I'm so entertained, I'm not even bothering to dissect the curious leggings and weird layering. Such is the power of an unexpected rain boot.

## Algeria

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149372237.jpg)

Nicely done, Algeria. The green pants stand out. You'd make excellent golfers.

## Sweden

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149372542_10.jpg)

All hail the champions of the IKEA intra-corporation rugby league. We hear this year FESTYYK finally topped the brutes from PLØNK.

## Switzerland

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149372629.jpg)

Welcome to the casting episode of *Switzerland's Next Top Flight Attendants*.

## Spain

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149374748_10.jpg)

These ladies look like the happiest people in the entire summer-camp tour group. Although I'm not going to lie -- those blazers are actually kind of cute.

## Spain

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149375146_10.jpg)

THESE guys, however, look like a bachelor party.

## Colombia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149377025_10.jpg)

"Hey, what up, y'all... wait, this is the Olympics? SHUT UP! I thought we were going to Leicester Square!"

## Guam

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149377415.jpg)

I ASSUME those are just patterned shirts, but the fact that it even REMOTELY looks like shortie blazers over a t-shirt is not auspicious. They all kind of look like they're picking up shifts at a tiki bar later.

## Estonia

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149377484_10.jpg)

We discussed Estonia in the other slideshow, but seriously, as a PACK they look like they're on their way to get x-rayed.

## Poland

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149377642_10.jpg)

I'm sorry, I know this is unpleasant to say, but these totally look like menstrual accidents.

## Norway

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149377731_10.jpg)

I feel like Norway is all, "We look pretty cute, right? But we are totally saving our budget for the Winter Olympics, where almost every citizen competes in something."

## The Netherlands

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149377789_10.jpg)

Love the ties, and let's be real, I need that orange trenchcoat.

## Ukraine

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149377791_10.jpg)

Going by my bright rule, these are good. Going by my What Is It Doing To My Wrinkles rule, these are crazy. I'm frowning so hard trying to suss out the deal here that you could teach a kid to skateboard in my furrow.

## Solomon Islands

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149377817_10.jpg)

I find these shirts very soothing. I don't know why. They also make me wish bowling were an Olympic sport.

## Russian Federation

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149377927.jpg)

I don't hate these, actually, but they do give me a little giggle -- like they're all about to break into some barbershop harmonizing and/or serve me an ice-cream sundae with sparklers in it for my birthday.

## South Africa

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149380883.jpg)

I thought these guys looked great. Very striking, very true to the flag without necessarily being literal.

## Kiribati

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149377980_10.jpg)

THIS is literal. I mean, it's better than totally abandoning your national colors altogether, AHEM, GERMANY, but you just know one of those dudes is wishing they could redesign the flags with vertical stripes instead.

## Djibouti

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149380621.jpg)

Poor Djibouti. It must be really lame having to endure Bob Costas or Matt Lauer -- I forget which of them it was -- making a giggly crack about how your country name is so hilarious to say. Having noted that, I must further make a very *Project Runway* comment on these, which is that there's not really any cohesion here. MAKE IT WORK, DJIBOUTI.

## The Hill

![](https://static.gofugyourself.com/uploads/2012/07/149383000_10.jpg)

Sniff. Look at all those flags. Lovely. I am such a sucker for the Olympics. Maybe next year Fug Nation can officially declare itself a country, in time for 2016\. Let's work on it, okay?

[Fug and Fab the Opening Ceremony: The OutfitsSame caveat as with the flag-bearers post: If I tried to cover every country being represented, the slideshow would be 205 pages, and you would all want to throttle me. Plus, there were a lot of very plain pants. And y'all know I love pants, and value their contributions to society, but there are only so many pairs of them I can talk about in a day. You understand. \[Photos: Getty\]![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/bf/b9/bfb99790-924d-4e41-a7e6-5e3c6e04fe57/content/images/static-gofugyourself-com/uploads/2012/07/149372622_10.jpg)](https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-and-fab-the-opening-ceremony-the-outfits-07-2012/)