Helena Bonham Carter
We begin, as do so many good things, with Helena Bonham Carter. Her purse that replicates a fan is so cool -- apparently, as with all her purses, it is by Lulu Guinness. And if it gives me the envious vapors, then I can fan myself with it. So it is the problem AND the solution.
Hailee Steinfeld
Hailee abandoned the bumps for some comfy sneakers, which is a very cute teen thing to do. I was not a fan of the length of this dress even with the other shoes -- it's creepy to me the way her feet poke out of it; it stumpifies her and I think it's a tad twee -- but again: She's darling and it wasn't a WHIFF for me, either. And the shoes are just sort of her showing some personality, which I dig. Teen feet don't need to be wedged into arch-killers all night.
Anne V
Anne here is a Sports Illustrated swimsuit model. This snake-themed watch takes telling time to a whole new reptilian level. I think it's kind of fabulous.
Zoe Saldana
Zoe Saldana wore bright orange Brian Atwood pumps to the Independent Spirit Awards. Atwood is becoming the new Louboutin. Not that anyone will ever give up their Loubs, but he's basically the OTHER go-to for shoes. Watch out, Manolo.
Jena Malone
Jena Malone was carrying this -- and it contained more fabric, in total, than her dress did.
Mariqueen Maandig
This lady is apparently married to Trent Reznor -- excuse me, Academy Award Winner Trent Reznor (I just KNEW he and Phil Collins had something in common). And she was not content with bracelets and rings; no, she wanted to go spicy with the manicure, too.
Sandra Bullock
Red reptilian leather: The perfect thing to beat away any reporter who asks about your ex.
Naomi Watts
Man, Chanel is all about color these days.
Mia Wasikowska
These art-deco shoes are Nicholas Kirkwood. If they were a building I'd probably like them, but on her feet I think they're impossibly clunky.
Anne Hathaway
It doesn't suck to get custom-made Brian Atwood pumps. I hope Anne puts these on her mantel.
Zooey Deschanel
Atwood again -- this time in red satin, on Zooey Deschanel. Seriously, Christian, you're getting a run for your money here.
Zoe Saldana
I can't tell if that's insect-shaped, or if it's just artsy, but it certainly looks cool.
Zoe Saldana
She clearly loves statement rings. This one, I don't like as much -- all the bits around it make it seem very... Candied Gummy Fruit.
Cate Blanchett
This bangle was a nice, understated choice for such a busy dress.
Wendi Deng
Funky, but also, I'm a tiny bit afraid that thing is, like, a fossilized fetal wombat that's been encrusted in bling.
Marisa Tomei
Marisa had on very plain black bracelets. It's an interesting diversion from all the shiny shiny sparkle shiny.
Vera Farmiga
This chunky half-wreath bedecked Vera at the Independent Spirit Awards. It definitely has... independent spirit. It also might cause back problems.
Sunrise Coigney
A bit of a hodge-podge, but it all kind of worked on her dramatic black-and-gold Sleeveathon.
Sharon Stone
Sharon may be a nutbar, but her taste in purses is fine by me. I do enjoy that she's wearing Epcot Center on her hand.
Serena Williams
Oh, just a LITTLE gold here and there for Serena.
Serena Williams
Hey! She found a taquito she could use as a purse!
Serena Williams
Serena was not messing around with the costume changes. When she swapped gowns, she also swapped out all her accessories. This is her other handbag of the evening.
Scarlett Johansson
I'm sorry. This looks like roadkill.
Rita Wilson
It's such a shame Rita Wilson doesn't believe in making any kind of big statement.
Reese Witherspoon
Very pretty drop earrings on Reese -- even if you hated the dress, it's sort of hard to loathe these babies.
Rashida Jones
I like these way better than I like the dress with which she paired them.
Anne Hathaway
Fancy bag for a fancy co-host.
Hilary Swank
This Roger Vivier purse of Hilary's is thematically similar to Anne Hathaway's. See? This slideshow has FLOW, man.
Hilary Swank
Since Hil went to the trouble of putting this in there, I figured we should all ogle it a bit.
Hilary Swank
And, the lady lives up to her name with some swanky rings.
Jessica Biel
Sure, okay!
Kate Beckinsale
Love it. I would totally wear that, and probably also on that finger.
Jessalyn Gilsig
Is Jessalyn technically still on "Glee," or have we put that behind us?
Jennifer Hudson
Great bracelets. Can't decide if I think the ring is cool or looks like she blew her nose on it.
Heidi Klum
I wish Heidi had done more than just give us a coy peek at these. But they are apparently Louboutins. Score one for him.
Heidi Klum
Her clutch is by Judith Leiber, which is probably not a huge surprise.
Gwyneth Paltrow
Gwynnie went with a Jimmy Choo clutch. Which I almost just called Gwynnie Choo, which I guess WOULD be the next frontier.
Eva Mendes
These are Pierre Hardy; Eva Mendes wore them to the Independent Spirit awards. I think they very interesting, but I'm fixated on whether her toes are too long for them.
Emma Stone
Brought to you by Van Cleef & Arpels.
Emma Stone
Emma wore Ferragamo pumps with her Chanel dress. They actually look pretty comfortable. Sometimes in these close-ups you can see foot strain, but not here -- like, even her left foot, which seems bizarrely angled (I think it's popping out of the shoe), isn't busting any veins or anything.
Elizabeth Banks
Jimmy Choo again. Mmm. I love shoes.
Elizabeth Banks
This sucker is Swarovski.
Dianna Agron
I'm not sure who made this is but it's got a funky eclectic look to it -- I like.
Dianna Agron
The earrings are also neatly antiqued. I'm not mad at them.
Cody Horn
GIRL. Fingerless sheer elbow globes at the Oscars? You are not Helena Bonham Carter, child.
Celine Dion
This is Van Cleef & Arpels. Probably why she didn't thump her chest during her big song. You don't want the insurance folks running out and tackling you to rescue their gems.
Cameron Diaz
Yeah, Cameron butchered her Herrera, but the Lanvin cuff is still pretty lovely.
Cameron Diaz
For whatever reason, though, the Jimmy Choo booties leave me cold. I know people were complimenting them on being booties that still somehow streamline her foot, but they repel me a little. There, I said it.
Anika Noni Rose
What DOES one wear with an orange gown and a canary stole? This seems as logical an option as any.
Amy Adams
The focus was on Amy's necklace, but the matching Cartier cuff wasn't too shabby either.
Ashley Fink
The "Glee" actress brought it with a very dramatic choker. And why not.
Anna Paquin
Chalk up another one for Brian Atwood -- and then yet another, because Katie "Jordan" Price wore the same basic pair to Elton's party, but with black bows instead of red. Oh, Atwood: You may have won the Oscars.