Renee Zellweger in Carolina Herrera

This might be the worst thing Renee Zellweger ever wore and that Herrera ever designed. She looks CRACKERS, like she stayed up all night piecing it together from tissue paper.

Amy Adams in Oscar de la Renta

Her earrings are amazing, but a little bit lost. The dress is a tangly and sad and heavy-looking thing.

Laura Dern

I want to go back to 2009 Laura Dern and be like, "Your closet gets SO MUCH BETTER."

Evan Rachel Wood in Elie Saab

This is dramatic and good on her, and would 100 percent have sheer layers if someone made it now.

Emma Stone

It's baby Em! She'd done Superbad and The House Bunny by now, but Easy A was a year away from being released and she was at this point on the cusp of Ghosts of Girlfriends Past and Zombieland coming out. Now she's an Oscar winner. And she's worn SO MUCH more interesting stuff. I wonder if this Emma would be more blown away by the Oscar or the LV contract.

Taylor Momsen

This was such an in-between phase where she had JUST stopped being able to see through her bangs but we didn't know how bad it was going to get.

Amy Poehler

That's... mostly fine?

Mindy Kaling

That is a truly unkind makeup job.

Marisa Tomei in Oscar de la Renta

She looks really groovy in this, like what the cool art teacher wears to your school's silent auction.

Taraji P. Henson in J. Mendel

That's quite the mishmash of ruffles.

Heidi Klum in vintage James Galanos

It's so hard to imagine that Heidi ever wore anything this Young Prom Princess. but lo, she did. I can't decide if I like it, or I like it conditionally because I know what has come since.

Eva Longoria Parker in Reem Acra

"I CANNOT BREATHE WHEN IS THIS OVER."

Kyra Sedgwick in Calvin Klein

I miss the good Calvin Klein.

Kristen Bell

The top of this is so... narrow. I also don't think that necklace quite goes. Man, 2009 Kristen Bell didn't even know The Good Place lay waiting for her.

Julia Ormond

Whatever happened to her? I guess she was on Mad Men as Megan Draper's mother, and then we just sort of lost her.

Cameron Diaz in Chanel

This is just a mess of crinkles and too-tight draping. 

It's an even worse mess from the side.

Jessica Capshaw

Oof.

Yvonne Strahovski

It's fun to see Yvonne at this one because she's actually NOMINATED this year. Quite a decade. I'm guessing her dress this year will be better.

Olivia Wilde in Reem Acra

This is from the era in which Olivia was the Sarah Hyland of awards shows: always there first. I do love this dreamy frock, though. It was worth the early arrival.

Jenna Fischer in Zuhair Murad

I wish I'd realized her facial expression was so crazy in this shot. I adore the gown, and I'd never have guessed it was this line.

Rutina Wesley

Does it need a wee hoik? Possibly, but the fabric is neat.

Blake Lively in custom Nina Ricci

OH NO. This is inexcusable because it was made for her. HOW do you mess up a person's measurements that badly.

January Jones in Versace

I am rarely drawn to satin, but this is at least interesting on her.

Mary-Louise Parker in Carlos Miele

I always want these dresses to finish what they start.

Maggie Gyllenhaal in Lanvin

We don't see much Lanvin on the red carpet, and animal prints are hot again. Dig it out, Maggie!

Anne Hathaway in Armani

See again re: finishing what one starts.

Hayden Panettiere

Save the cheerleader, save the world. Although that show was a year away from its final chapter, and we didn't know Juliette Barnes was in her future. The dress works on her; I read a critique elsewhere that said it looks like a J Crew catalog choice and a) I don't really see that, but b) I don't really see that as an insult necessarily either.

Rumer Willis in Reem Acra

Hooooooik.

Laurence Fishburne and Gina Torres

These two looked smashing together on this night, and his tie looks like a custom surfboard. If I surfed, I would get that board.

Kate Winslet in YSL

I feel like we're getting into the era where her gowns started to feel samey even when they were totally different.

Debra Messing in Vera Wang

I am fairly sure I wasn't into this at the time, but I am in on all the ruffles now, and the earrings, and the giant red ponytail. SOLD, Debra. See you on Sunday.

Melissa George in Armani

This is just lovely, and one of the nicer things former Fug Madness fave Melissa has worn.

Amanda Bynes

Oh, sniffle. I sincerely hope she's doing okay. She said she's trying to get back into the acting game, and I just never know if I trust that industry to do anything but chew up a person it has already chewed up once.

Salma Hayek in Bottega Veneta

That's nice, but if I'm being honest, would I trade any of the BANANAS Guccis she's worn in the last few years for this? Don't think so. Bananas is our business.

Eva Mendes in Dior

This would have been super without the giant artist's rendering of a jellyfish stapled to her hip.

Kate Beckinsale in J. Mendel

For a while it felt like all she wore was strapless fishtail dresses. It fits, though, and at this point she still basically looked like herself.

Miley Cyrus in Marchesa

This was sweet, and a prime example of what Marchesa did well back in its day.

Jane Krakowski

I wouldn't be surprised if this was also Marchesa.

Beyonce in Elie Saab

SURPRISE! It's Beyonce, in a dress where it looks like she can barely move and is about to bust out.

Penelope Cruz in Armani

Whereas this seems a smidge snug in the chest and then perhaps a tad loose everywhere else?

Sandra Bullock in Dior

This manages to be drab even with the ruffles, and worse, it doesn't look like she's having fun in it at all. Not that Sandy ever gives off the impression that she loves this part of her job, but this in particular feels like it was put on her rather than something she loved.

Amanda Seyfried in Stella

These two met on the set of Mamma Mia, and I knew that was 10 years ago because of course I saw the sequel in theatres this summer, but... sometimes I do still get surprised with how long people have been famous. She still feels sort of new even though she isn't at all. (Dress: boring.)

Elizabeth Banks in J. Mendel

I like it less the more my eyes scroll down.

Angelina in Versace

I think I liked this at the time, or at least didn't DISLIKE it, but I'm bored now Angie.

Vanessa Hudgens in Alberta Ferretti

AGAIN with the "finish what you start." (Unrelated: She was dating Zac Efron still at this point, and doesn't THAT feel like an eternity ago.)

Demi Moore in Dior

Ashton just has this way of looking like a douchecanoe on the red carpet no matter what he does.

Megan Fox in Ralph Lauren

I'm into this. The girl does not NAB.

Laura Linney in Elie Saab

That's pretty super for a winning night.

Christina Applegate in Roberto Cavalli

Christina got nominated for Samantha Who, which... who knew? (Unintentional ZING.) The dress is very Belle, but duller.

Rachel Griffiths in Ralph Rucci

In finding the dress credit for this, I found one that said she had "lost her slender physique" in this shapeless thing, which is a shitty thing to write. Also it turns out she was 3-4 months pregnant.

Glenn Close

At the time, Jess said this looked like the Tin Man got it on with one of Donald Trump's couches. Hard to argue with THAT.

Freida Pinto in Lacroix

This was Slumdog Millionaire's big year, and I cannot imagine that this was the best anyone could rustle up for her. It's a terrible mess.

J.Lo in Marchesa

That is very J.Lo, and very great...

with Marc Anthony

... and even Marc polished it up for the occasion. Jennifer had been pregnant with the twins the year before, so this would've been a big CHECK ME OUT moment.

Viola Davis in Max Azria

Viola HAD to have looked at that carpet and said, "It looks like a continuation of my dress?!? WHAT ARE THE DAMN ODDS."

Isla Fisher in Carlos Miele

That looks like a giant spill.

America Ferrera in Oscar de la Renta

The design where it WANTS to look like an unmade bed is really a mystery even now.

Tom and Rita

Rita Wilson looks like a gas. A hoot, I mean, not an actual airborne substance.

Drew Barrymore in John Galliano for Dior

AND THEN. Oh, Drew, that dress is such a pretty color on you, but you look like you got dressed YESTERDAY because you had the date wrong and then just decided to stay dressed.

At least you had fun, sweet flower child.

Fug Flashback: The 2009 Golden Globes

Hop into the DeLorean.