Ke$ha
I hope our future alien rulers don't think this is how we want them to dress us.
Ke$ha
This is more than I ever wanted to know about Ke$ha's pelvis, and it's not even a picture of her actual pelvis. Wait, WHAT IF IT IS.
Ke$ha
She looks like such a petulant kid in this photo. Like, "Yeah, mom? You want me to wear this f*cking suit to this f*cking funeral? Well, I'll show you how to grieve, lady."
Ke$ha
God, I just want to grab the edges of the train, pull them up and around her, staple them to her waist, and see if it makes things better. She might even look GOOD if we did that. Well... good, apart from the drugstore hair extensions that look dyed by PAAS. But you know. Baby steps.
Ke$ha
We are, indeed, watching those broad stripes and bright stars waving o'er her ramparts through a perilous fight.
Ke$ha
When Alexis Colby wouldn't even go there, then neither should you.
Vanessa Hudgens
AND THEN. I realized recently just how many of Vanessa's pieces Ke$ha might want. Like these. (And possibly the piece of arm candy.)
Vanessa Hudgens
Or this. Actually, I'm pretty sure Ke$ha HAS once worn something like that. Oh Vanessa. Or shall I say Vane$sa?
Vanessa Hudgens
Child, that's not a shirt, it's a valance.
Vanessa Hudgens
Extras casting for Oliver Twist is around the corner.
Vanessa Hudgens
The thing is, I suspect she wants us to believe she's this total boho type, but it seems like a put-on. I'm not saying it IS, just that the way she executes it seems incredibly forced. Do you think she looks back on this photo and is all, "Yep, that is exactly ME, and I wouldn't change a thing"? Or, "Oh my GOD, WHY DID NO ONE STOP ME?"
Vanessa Hudgens
Or in the case of this, "WHERE ARE MY REAL FRIENDS?"
Vanessa Hudgens
"Y'ALL, DO I NOT HAVE ANY REAL FRIENDS?!?!?!"
Vanessa Hudgens
The existence of these pants seems to confirm that. If Jessica bought these, I would have to sit her down and explain to her that she had misplaced her marbles down a garbage disposal. It would be hard -- one hates to disillusion a friend -- but it would be kind.
Vanessa Hudgens
I can't get over what a Depends commercial those pants seem to be. "Have you ever been caught off-guard by the moment? Do you visit the Hotel Incontinence, where you can check in any time you like but you can never leave?"
Vanessa Hudgens
What kills me is that she's very pretty. If she hired a halfway reasonable stylist, she'd be gold. Even a leather jacket that should be cool is kind of ruined by a lot of dangly bits. Don't do so much, kid. It's okay.
Vanessa Hudgens
Okay, do a little more than this, though. I shouldn't be able to see your pockets.
Vanessa Hudgens
Something about this screams Chloe Sevigny to me.
Vanessa Hudgens
Whereas this simply screams, "SAVE ME FROM MYSELF."