Alexa Chung
I mean, MAYBE Ashanti would wear this, but frankly I don't see her as a lederhosen girl.
Ashanti
And Alexa is not so much a Vagina Stripe kind of girl.
Alexa Chung
I mean, right? If you handed this to Ashanti she'd laugh and be like, "Hilarious joke, unless there's a peephole in there somewhere." It's Bed, Bath, and Beyawful.
Ashanti
Alexa Chung would see this and be all, "Wow, what a shitty-looking comic book."
Alexa Chung
And would Ashanti EVER wear a black satin bag? No. Not unless she had climbed inside it because someone told her there were a bunch of headbands inside.
Ashanti
No, Ashanti likes her satin to be tight, and scrunched, and with a big hip cutout -- unflattering in exactly the opposite way.
Alexa Chung
I will say this for Ashanti: She is insane, but not usually sloppy and depressing.
Ashanti
Like, this may be a very fancy modesty cloth from a gyno who charges $10,000 a pap, but at least I don't want to cry or offer her an aspirin.
Alexa Chung
Actually, this might prove my theory wrong: Ashanti MIGHT wear this, because LOOK AT ALL THAT THIGH.
Ashanti
This, Ashanti wore on the same day as an outfit up top -- for this performance, she added a skirt, I guess? Apparently the AUDIENCE of morning TV was not ready for her leggings, but the people on the sidewalk were welcome to them. Alexa Chung would STILL be like, "Yep, crappy comic book."
Alexa Chung
Ashanti would be like, "She wore a SHIRT under those?!?"
Ashanti
And Alexa would be all, "Did Monty Python design that?"
Alexa Chung
Ashanti would not even wear this when she's 86 and blind and playing bingo at Shady Palms.
Ashanti
It just bears repeating that she looks like she's on the toilet, not at a fashion show.
Alexa Chung
This suit is equally confusing, in TOTALLY the opposite way. It NEEDS more vagina. ... No, not really. But GIRL. This doesn't feel like an It Girl style icon -- it feels like someone who was told she's an It Girl style icon and now is trying too hard to make it true.