Lindsay Lohan
Did Angelina Jolie sell those vials of Billy Bob's blood on eBay? Just curious.
Lindsay Lohan
"When the sun shines she doesn't dress well-a, like her clothes were made in hell-a, she should be banned from Coachella-ella-ella-eh-eh-eh."
Lindsay Lohan
YOUR THIGHS SHOULD NOT BE YOUR OUTFIT.
Lindsay Lohan
I have decided to imagine that is John Mayer behind her. It's NOT, I'm certain of it, and his spidey sense probably just tingled and made him wish he could take to Twitter to defend himself against that idea. But from that tiny snippet of face you could have fun pretending it is, and imagining the ensuing fanfics.
Lindsay Lohan
Jess reminded me that this is the dress Charlie Sheen helped her get, which she then sheared off into a mullet-mini, which is disgusting behavior. Also, honey, Krystle Carrington last wore that coat and you are no Krystle Carrington.
Lindsay Lohan
W. T. the ever-loving F. If you told me the hair was sewn to the hat, I'd believe it.
Lindsay Lohan
I will never stop being grossed out by these. I know we all have shlubby erranding days, but a) most of those errands aren't to fancy Beverly Hills cosmetics stores, and b) most of us understand that "shlubby erranding day" is not synonymous for "auditioning for Sexy Homeless Bozo #3."
Lindsay Lohan
Well, it's better than half of what she's worn to court, but I still think she should ask her dry-cleaner for a refund for shrinking it.
Lindsay Lohan
This just looks ten kinds of wrong on her. It's SUCH a banal gown, and it still manages to be awful. It strives for adequate and misses even that.
Lindsay Lohan
I am just sitting here shaking my head in silence.
Lindsay Lohan
Justin Bieber would LOVE this outfit.
Justin Bieber
See? Oh, lord, if they dated, they could go out in MATCHING ENSEMBLES. Like a new-decade Justin and Britney.
Justin Bieber
I am so excited for the ill-fitting leatherfest that would ensue from this squicky coupling.
Justin Bieber
This outfit would be perfect for when Lindsay needs to climb out of a party house and hide in some shrubberies. What a winsome pair of escapees they would make.
Justin Bieber
Lindsay would be all ABOUT wearing the Biebdannas...
Justin Bieber
And, hell, she used to SELL leggings that had built-in kneepads, so she totally would love these. And the shoes look like a high-top sneaker had sex with a purse, which would give her a whole new place to shove strange substances and then lie that she borrowed said storage spot from someone else.
Lindsay Lohan
I mean, Lindsay probably already HAS a zip-front white jumpsuit from something.
Justin Bieber
For this, Lindsay could just wear the rest of C-3PO and they'd be set.
Justin Bieber
For this she could borrow, say, a basketball player's warm-up leggings and bunch them accordingly.
Justin Bieber
Ditto. Although she could get away with pants under a skirt for about twenty minutes before we figured out she wasn't actually wearing The World's Stupidest Trousers.
Justin Bieber
Whenever I see this photo, I think of that classic 90210 scene where Brenda and Donna are at self-defense class, and they shout, "NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!" while going through the motions and getting in touch with their inner badasses. Lindsay and Justin could take that act on the road. Surely lots of people want to sit in a crowd in front of them and shout the word "NO" at them.
Justin Bieber
The Prime Minister of Canada gives a thumbs-up to my plan.