Kim Kardashian
Please, Kanye, give her whatever you've got in the bag. I don't care if it's for you. Just do it.
Justin Bieber
This is what all the chicest, most cutting edge train robbers are wearing.
Kim Kardashian
Just in case we needed a reminder that KimKard has NEVER worn clothes that fit her shape particularly well, regardless of said shape.
Justin Bieber
UCLA's athletic department has enough problems. Also, his tee shirt is covered with fuzzy animals. I just felt like that needed to be said again.
Kim Kardashian
Speaking of fuzzy animals....
Justin Bieber
One of these days, I'm going to get that law barring Unkindness to Pants passed, and we can finally actually just ticket Bieber for his many transgressions.
Kim Kardashian
Speaking of Unkindness to Pants....
Justin Bieber
All these bandanas on Bieber remind me of nothing so much as the time Dylan McKay traveled back in time and found out he was in love with Kelly Taylor during the dusty, halcyon days of the Old West. Not for nothing, but I hate that episode of 90210.
Kim Kardashian
Speaking of things I hate...
Justin Bieber
"Time out! I need to pee."
Kim Kardashian
In which Kanye is obviously thinking, "girl, I can't believe you're modeling something Gwyneth wore in 2011</>. That is NOT how to get in good with Jay-Z and Beyonce."
Justin Bieber
Personally, I feel that the moment our pop stars turn fully bionic is the moment we can truly consider the start of the end of the world.
Kim Kardashian
Does no one care that she is wearing the Loch Ness Monster? SURELY that is against some sort of law devoted to the historical preservation of mythical creatures.
Justin Bieber
We know. You need a lot of room for your junk. We get it. You like it breezy, and Hammer-like. Message received.
Kim Kardashian
The nice thing is, when she gets home, she can use this to clean off the blades of the ceiling fan.
Justin Bieber
The good thing about spiky shoes is that they basically force you to put them away, or risk opening a hole in your face when you trip over them on the way to the bathroom in the middle of the night.
Kim Kardashian
The benefit of this is...um. Hmm. Come back to me on this one, okay? Thanks.
Justin Bieber
Even HE is like, "I know, you guys. I know. I'm sorry."
Kim Kardashian
Kanye's side-eye here is pretty epic. She earned it.
Justin Bieber
Sometimes I seriously think he is going for Young Michael Jackson, which: he wishes, and also, don't.
Kim Kardashian
Speaking of DON'T...
Justin Bieber
I LITERALLY DO NOT KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING WITH HIS PANTS. Dollar bills are involved. I like to think Selena woke up one morning and saw these slung over a chair and was like, "dude. I'm out."
Justin Bieber
Cue all of Canada murmuring, "we are also out. Don't blame us for this. WE BROUGHT YOU MICHAEL J FOX." (We'd never blame you, Canada. All the blame for the Biebs rests solely on his head. Okay, and Usher's.)
Kim Kardashian
Dude. We're ALL out.