Johnny Depp
"Hey guys. Yes, it's true: my fedora was gnawed on by a rat at some point in the last 100 years. Whatever. It's cool."
Brad Pitt
"I, too, have a hat that appears to have gone through a house fire."
Brangelina
A running theme in both of these men's lives is that they tend to show up places looking like dude in your building who has cool taste in records, but who also smells terrible, and who rolls his own cigarettes and is always offering you the one that lives behind his ear....
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard
...while his date looks polished and maaaaybe a little tired of his schtick. If I were married to Johnny Depp, I feel like I'd spend my entire time leaving photos of him looking natty "accidentally" taped to his bathroom mirror.
Brangelina
I feel like Angelina is all, "yes, he looks like a cut-rate magician, but he's MY cut-rate magician!"
Johnny Depp
"I long to be someone's cut-rate magician."
Brangelina
Johnny and Brad ALSO share a love of whimsical and perhaps not entirely flattering eyewear.
Johnny Depp and Amber Heard
I hope they sometimes text one another about the groovy sunglasses they just scored on Etsy at 3am.
Brangelina
Even Angelina's face here seems to be saying, "....this was not my first choice for him."
Johnny Depp
I just KNOW Brad's going to unleash a bolo tie eventually.