Kate Hudson
LET'S BEGIN. And this outfit, which won Worst Dressed of the Golden Globes, is a stellar place for a kickoff. Also, it very much upsets me that this see-through Julien Macdonaldthat she wore was not in our image subscription, but please check it out and consider its sins as well.
Miley Cyrus
She is maybe someone who should NEVER be allowed a glue gun.
Kate Hudson
Oof. Muddy, see-through, pleated, and baggy. Not words one would expect to see used in concert with one another.
Miley Cyrus
The Tin Man is all, "MY DAUGHTER NEVER LISTENS TO ME ANYMORE IT MAKES ME INSANE."
Kate Hudson
For a long time I couldn't tell if this was a dress or pants. Then I noticed I can see the carpet through her legs. IT'S PANTS. Or more accurately, a jumpsuit. A busy as HELL jumpsuit.
Miley Cyrus
Amusingly, this is Miley wearing something that Lady Gaga attempted a year earlier. I'm surprised Miley didn't try to pull out more stops. It's like she's not even trying.
Kate Hudson
This thing is a mess, as is her bronzer.
Miley Cyrus
I'm surprised she didn't just glue a bunch of peeps to her own naked body.
Kate Hudson
This is more of a straight-faced attempt at formalwear, but to me it looks... moldy.
Miley Cyrus
Do her socks light up? They should.
Kate Hudson
Another straight-up effort that went terribly wrong on her.
Miley Cyrus
I giggle at this. I find it OTT in a charming way, rather than a queasy one.
Kate Hudson
Well... I mean, it's a hole in her sleeve. By design? A rip? A winky cutout? No idea. But it's for sure confusing.
Miley Cyrus
I might love that jacket. Can we #freejacket?
Kate Hudson
Kate Hudson also loves a little peekaboo.
Miley Cyrus
Maybe just not THIS much.
Kate Hudson
But still plenty.
Miley Cyrus
We were covering the red carpet at these VMAs, and all the really famous people only walked a tiny part of it and then went inside, and 97 percent of the journalists got only, like, the cast of Awkward and one Nick Jonas sighting. I can see why now.
Also, that's a pretty good way to end this, no? It's VOTING TIME.