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Dascha Polanco

NEW YORK, NY - SEPTEMBER 05: Actress Dascha Polanco is seen arriving to ELLE, Women in Music presented by Spotify and hosted by Nina Garcia, Jameela Jamil & E! Entertainment on September 05, 2019 in New York City. (Photo by Gilbert Carrasquillo/GC Images)

This is as strong an opening statement as any we've had this season.

Melina Matsoukas

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Soul Brother/Shutterstock (10550149az) Melina Matsoukas 13th Annual Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards Luncheon, Arrivals, Beverly Wilshire, Los Angeles, USA - 06 Feb 2020

And a vicious counter.

Dascha Polanco

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - AUGUST 16: BACARDI and Dascha Polanco celebrate National Rum Day on August 16, 2019 in New York City. (Photo by Noam Galai/Getty Images for BACARDI)

This genuinely looks like an ad for a new Vegas restaurant/nightclub at T.I.

Melina Matsoukas

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Chelsea Lauren/Shutterstock (10351555bx) Melina Matsoukas Hollywood Foreign Press Association Annual Grants Banquet, Arrivals, Los Angeles, USA - 31 Jul 2019

This is the combo of pantaloons and nylons we never knew we needed. Because we didn't need it.

Dascha Polanco

- New York - NY - 20190910 - Klarna STYLE360 NYFW Hosts S by Serena Williams Runway Show Metropolitan West, NY - Kim Kardashian - Janet Mayer/Startraksphoto.com - - This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact INSTAR Images for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207. This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. INSTAR Images reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded

JAZZY.

Melina Matsoukas

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Nils Jorgensen/Shutterstock (10541789aq) Melina Matsoukas 'Queen and Slim' film premiere, London, UK - 28 Jan 2020 Melina Matsoukas attends premiere of Queen & Slim, Melina Matsoukas's film about a couple's first date, which takes an unexpected turn when a police officer pulls them over, at Rich Mix

SHINY.

Dascha Polanco

-New York, NY - 20190906-The Worldwide Editors of Harper`s Bazaar Celebrate -PICTURED: Guest -PHOTO by: JOHN NACION/startraksphoto.com This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Startraks Photo for licensing fee and rights information at sales@startraksphoto.com or call +1 212 414 9464 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Startraks Photo reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded

Shiny AND hatty.

Melina Matsoukas

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Jordan Strauss/Invision/AP/Shutterstock (10444417hu) Melina Matsoukas arrives at the 26th annual ELLE Women in Hollywood Celebration at the Four Seasons Hotel, in Los Angeles 26th Annual ELLE Women in Hollywood Celebration, Los Angeles, USA - 14 Oct 2019

Batty!

Dascha Polanco

NEW YORK, NEW YORK - SEPTEMBER 05: Dascha Polanco attends the Vanity Fair's 2019 Best Dressed List at L'Avenue on September 05, 2019 in New York City. (Photo by Jim Spellman/Getty Images)

To a best-dressed party. I can't get past it.

Melina Matsoukas

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Andrew H. Walker/Shutterstock (10521056ap) Melina Matsoukas National Board of Review Annual Awards Gala, Arrivals, Cipriani 42nd Street, New York, USA - 08 Jan 2020

This looks like it's made of a wicker floor mat.

Dascha Polanco

, New York, NY - 20190910- Arrivals at Rihanna's second annual Savage X Fenty Show at Barclay's Center in Brooklyn. -PICTURED: Dascha Polanco -PHOTO by: Media Punch/INSTARimages.com This is an editorial, rights-managed image. Please contact Instar Images LLC for licensing fee and rights information at sales@instarimages.com or call +1 212 414 0207 This image may not be published in any way that is, or might be deemed to be, defamatory, libelous, pornographic, or obscene. Please consult our sales department for any clarification needed prior to publication and use. Instar Images LLC reserves the right to pursue unauthorized users of this material. If you are in violation of our intellectual property rights or copyright you may be liable for damages, loss of income, any profits you derive from the unauthorized use of this material and, where appropriate, the cost of collection and/or any statutory damages awarded

I am at a loss for words. It's like Royal Ascot by way of the Moulin Rouge.

Melina Matsoukas

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Todd Williamson/Variety/Shutterstock (10507152e) Melina Matsoukas 'Queen and Slim' Variety Screening Series sponsored by Vudu, Los Angeles, USA - 16 Dec 2019 Wearing Miu Miu Same Outfit as catwalk model *10324524u

What a... complete bummer.

Dascha Polanco

Mandatory Credit: Photo by John Photography/Shutterstock (10390366as) Dascha Polanco E! Entertainment, ELLE and IMG kick-off party, Arrivals, New York Fashion Week, USA - 04 Sep 2019

Nope.

Melina Matsoukas

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Variety/Shutterstock (10538595co) Melina Matsoukas 72nd Annual Directors Guild of America Awards, Arrivals, The Ritz-Carlton, Los Angeles, USA - 25 Jan 2020

Hot nope.

Dascha Polanco

71st Emmy Awards (2019) Arrivals held at the Microsoft Theatre in Los Angeles, California. Featuring: Dascha Polanco Where: Los Angeles, California, United States When: 22 Sep 2019 Credit: Adriana M. Barraza/WENN.com

Floaties REALLY had a moment this year.

Melina Matsoukas

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Evan Agostini/Invision/AP/Shutterstock (10468167f) Melina Matsoukas attends the WSJ. Magazine 2019 Innovator Awards at the Museum of Modern Art, in New York WSJ Magazine 2019 Innovator Awards, New York, USA - 06 Nov 2019

As did blazer dresses.

Dascha Polanco

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stephen Lovekin/REX/Shutterstock (10241923ed) Dascha Polanco 'When They See Us' TV show premiere, Arrivals, Apollo Theater, New York, USA - 20 May 2019

As did... wait no, I can't pretend that suit-dress hybrids had any kind of moment at all beyond this one.

Melina Matsoukas

Exclusive all-round no mins Mandatory Credit: Photo by John Salangsang/Deadline/Shutterstock (10462315bo) EXCLUSIVE - Melina Matsoukas Exclusive - Deadline Contenders, Arrivals, DGA Theater, Los Angeles, USA - 02 Nov 2019

This is basically an expensive straitjacket.

Dascha Polanco

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Stephen Lovekin/REX/Shutterstock (10241923dy) Dascha Polanco 'When They See Us' TV show premiere, Arrivals, Apollo Theater, New York, USA - 20 May 2019

I needed to re-show you the side view of Dascha's, so that you could be as perplexed as I am.

Melina Matsoukas

Mandatory Credit: Photo by Matt Baron/Shutterstock (10475770r) Melina Matsoukas 'Queen and Slim' film premiere, Arrivals, AFI Fest, Los Angeles, USA - 14 Nov 2019

And of course... this.

Fug Madness 2020: Dascha Polanco vs. Melina Matsoukas
The Final Four is FIERCE.

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