Rita Ora
We begin with an orange-flavored ode to graph paper.
Vanessa Hudgens
This is not so much an ode, as a premonition about the eventual downfall of pants. Which might actually involve them falling down.
Rita Ora
Watching her do jumping jacks in those would trip me out.
Vanessa Hudgens
Coachella is coming, and looking at these diapers again is getting me so stoked for the hideousness that will ensue.
Rita Ora
Wait. Does she have a grill in? Did I get so distracted by the outfit that I didn't look at her mouth? What is HAPPENING?
Vanessa Hudgens
She is a Tarot treasure, this one.
Rita Ora
What the chain gang ACTUALLY wears would fit better.
Vanessa Hudgens
A surplus of navel. Also a good book title.
Rita Ora
I could not hate these more. Well, maybe if they also had a face on them?
Vanessa Hudgens
If there was a big gala at the end of Coachella, this would be ideal.
Rita Ora
It's a tullenado.
Vanessa Hudgens
Katy Perry wore the minidress version of this to the Met Ball, and it sort of worked there; longer and NOT at a kooky costume gala, I'm not as sure.
Rita Ora
She looks like such a fancy insect in this.
Vanessa Hudgens
I can't look at this without laughing. I KIND of feel like Wino Forever's character in Reality Bites would be wearing this right now, if she were real. And possibly regardless of age.
Rita Ora
There is a tremor in Vanessa Hudgens' force because she doesn't own this.
Vanessa Hudgens
I kind of like that the bodice COULD be made of actual fangs.
Rita Ora
I can't get over the surplus of fabric AND lack of coverage.
Vanessa Hudgens
I am going to make Jessica a pillowcase with this on it.
Rita Ora
#SaveHerShoes
Vanessa Hudgens
I can't figure out what they're doing that Austin Butler looks pretty cute and pulled-together, and Vanessa looks homeless and might be flashing her panties.
Rita Ora
I JUST noticed the zippers on her sleeves, because what this outfit needed was another inexplicable, expensively useless touch.
Vanessa Hudgens
She's got to be wearing this backwards. I'm sure we've said that a hundred times, but it will never NOT be my only way of making sense of this.
Rita Ora
Holy neon crapslice.
Vanessa Hudgens
We are witnessing a big drawback to ombre hair. Assuming any of that stuff is actually hers.
Rita Ora
Hudgens would wear that to the supermarket.
Vanessa Hudgens
Hudgens probably DID wear this to the supermarket. We shouldn't be able to see your pockets, kid.