Ugly Sweater Kit
This is LITERALLY the funniest thing I got in the mail for the entire year. It's our own Ugly Christmas Sweater! Make your own with the Ugly Christmas Sweater Kit, at Amazon, for $24.99.
-- Jessica
J Crew Breton Stripe
Surely you know someone who, like me, cannot resist the classic blue-and-white striped top. If you do, know that we CAN NEVER HAVE ENOUGH and will love another one.
This particular one is from J Crew, and it's $49.50.
-- Jessica
Fancy iPhone Case
With apologies to those of you who don't use an iPhone, or who upgraded to the 6... these six cases, by J. Hill Designs, are SO groovy. They're $35 apiece and come with all the standard shock protection of any other iPhone hard case (but by the looks of it, without bulk).
-- Heather
Really Freaking Pretty Maps
These gorgeous prints are from the same company that makes the iPhone cases on the previous slide. There are City Maps, or State and Country Maps, and this AWESOME thoughtful touch: marathon route maps from various cities which you can personalize with the person's time, for the proud runner in your life (so, not me).
Prices seem to run from about $12 to $80, depending on size (5x7 is the smallest, 13x19 the largest), and whether you want them personalized. Framing is extra, too. But: $12 each for a classy 5x7 collection? TOTALLY reasonable.
-- Heather
My Little Pony Mug
I bought myself one, because I am human, and I have feelings. Also, I had all of these vintage ponies. I still do, somewhere. From Modcloth, this trip down memory lane is a measly $12.99.
-- Heather
Love Letter Napkins
This is awesome. Let me quote directly from Smithsonian, which sells these napkins: "With text culled from the archives of some of the world's literary greats, and hand-screened onto sheets of the sheerest cotton voile, these letter napkins by Sir/Madam arrive folded and enclosed in a classic string tie envelope for a truly special delivery. Individual themes include love letters, Shakespearean sonnets, and letters of advice. Each edition includes four unique works. Order by theme or consider blending all three to encourage considerate discourse at the dinner table." ROMANCE AT DINNER, for $48.
-- Jessica
Kick-Ass Posters, from Pop Chart Lab
Just do yourself a favor and look at all the posters on this fab site, especially because they're zoomable for a better look. They are gorgeous and brilliant. (And Haircuts is ON SALE for $10.) These are just a sample of the ones that made me laugh -- that Fresh Prince one is hugely specific but also REALLY FUNNY -- but there is a bunch of stuff related to booze as well (posters about real beers, say, or cocktails, or one cool one about fictional beers in pop culture, or the strangely beautiful Nebula of NES Games for the gamer in your life). I could list all of them, basically. Just go look. You won't be sorry.
Basic prints seem to run around $29, but there are several framing or hanging options you can add on, if you prefer.
-- Heather
Catbird Bangles
Everyone loves a bracelet, and these are pleasantly jangly. Find them over at Catbird, for $42 each.
-- Jessica
Kate Spade Saturday gold dot pouches
At $75 apiece, these three leather zip clutch/pouches are obviously on the pricier end of what we're doing here, but they COULD go on sale. And also, let's be honest, this is really more of a TREAT. YO. SELF. kind of guide.
-- Heather
Guards Cap
If we can't have Prince George's sweater covered in wee Queen's Guards, then this jaunty hat is the next best thing. It's $38 at Boden, which also has matching mittens AND a matching scarf.
-- Jessica
["Good news: There IS a matching sweater, and it is currently on sale (as of this writing). I have it. I LOVE IT. So Go George Yourself, or whatever." -- Heather]
Jewelry from Stella & Dot
I am a big fan of all the jewelry from Stella & Dot -- it's all very good quality (plus REALLY cute packaging), and even the more expensive stuff tends to be worth it. But these rings are all reasonable -- in fact, the rightmost one is on sale for $23.40, and I bought it a few weeks ago and I love it. Sometimes with costume jewelry, the gold is too bright and the stones too sparkly, to the point where it screams FRANKLY FAKE. But this one doesn't. It's just subtle and twinkly and cute, and did I mention it's $23.40?
The blue ring is $49, and the chevron trio is only $29, and I have my eye on BOTH OF THEM.
NOTE: Until December 15, every $50 you spend earns you a $25 credit to be used later. Am I enabling you? GOOD.
-- Heather
Heartwater Bottle SEE WHAT I DID THERE?
I think I recommend a hot water bottle every single holiday, and it's because I have very cold feet, and they're charming. This one is at ASOS for $18.95.
-- Jessica
Polka Dot Turban
I ALSO recommend a turban every year. Turbans shall be required at the Fug Retreat one of these days, and I will probably be wearing this one. It's at Asos (which has LOADS OF TURBANS) for a mere $13.27!
-- Jessica
Madewell Cuff
It is my feeling that no one you love should ever find herself in need of a bracelet. This divine cuff is at Madewell for $32.
-- Jessica
Diane Lockhart Necklaces
Another item that's pricey, but Fug Nationals like to splurge on themselves sometimes, and Diane Lockhart does not come cheap, y'all. The one on the left, by Kenneth Jay Lane -- the actual source of many of Diane's accessories -- is the most expensive at $144 (but 40% off!) at Net-a-Porter. HOWEVER, the one on the right, by the same designer, is only $45 (also 40% off) at the Barneys warehouse. It's not exactly like her big ol' single chains, but she'd wear that, right?
-- Heather
J.Crew Lockhart Chain
Or, there's this way cheaper J.Crew version from its factory store, on deep sale for $27.50. But if you want to shell out $1042 and change for this vintage YSL version, PLEASE, BE MY GUEST. And give me a week of custody.
-- Heather
Annalise Keating necklace, maybe?
Diane also likes resin, per the costumer, but this colorful green one seems more Annalise's taste. It's also Kenneth Jay Lane, and it's on sale for $54. Do you feel sufficiently bombarded with large necklaces? GOOD. Moving on, then.
-- Heather
Cocktail shaker
It's cocktail season, and as far as I am concerned, it's almost always Drinks O'Clock. This sassy shaker is over at ShopBop for $36.
-- Jessica
Happy Hour Flask
I apparently think the holidays call for heavy drinking. This flask is an elegant way to pull it off. It's $40 at Kate Spade.
-- Jessica
["Use it to drink away the pain of that four-figure YSL necklace you clearly just bought." -H]
The Best Cheese Plate Ever
Credit to Sarah Bunting (of Tomato Nation, TWoP, Previously TV, etc) for this one, because she gave it as a gift and I honed in on this sucker like a hawk. It's also from Pop Chart Lab, and it's $36.
-- Heather
Perfect Bacon Bowl
I'm only putting this in so you can all go watch the AMAZING COMMERCIAL -- I wept with glee -- and then have that song in your head forever. But also, it's currently $10 buy-one-get-one at the Bacon Bowl Store. Imagine the bacony fun to be had. Let the Amazon reviews do the talking: "THIS IS A STUPID PRODUCT," announces one. "Unholy Blasphemy Against Bacon," proclaims another. Don't miss out!
-- Heather
Royal Mugs
Did you TRULY think I wasn't going to suggest some royal mugs? The Royal Collection has TONS of fabulous ones, but this is one of my favorites. It's thirty-five pounds (don't do the exchange in your head! Just don't!) at the Royal Collection Shop. Bonus points: The Royal Collection's packaging is gorgeous.
-- Jessica
Union Jack umbrella
Also from the Royal Collection, is there any better gift for the Anglophile in your midst? This umbrella is quite simply the best. It is 25 pounds. LA LA LA DON'T DO THE EXCHANGE.
-- Jessica
Ten in One Adventurer Tool
I LOVE these things, and they're very useful, and make a good gift for a man or a woman. You never know when you're going to need a screwdriver, truly. Over at Restoration Hardware for $19.99!
-- Jessica
Bootaloon Cummerbund magnet
Hey, you need SOMETHING to hold your coupons to your fridge. It's only $4 at Etsy, and they specify that it is SAFE FOR WORK, meaning that there's obviously an extremely raunchy one out there somewhere.
-- Heather
Pencils For Your Impending Weddng
Actually, the Princess Bride pencils are my favorites, but some Fug Nationals out there might feel THIS strongly about Mr. Candlewax. They're a steal at $5.62.
-- Heather
Vintage Pyrex Calendar, Playing Cards, and Recipe Cards
Pocono Designs does all kinds of stylized stuff like this. Hopefully the calendar, at $25, does not actually in person have a weird line through the word "calendar." The retro cards are only $15, although I JUST noticed that it says they're on pre-order and won't arrive until January, so... I guess those are for your OWN poker night, or someone who won't care if you print out a photo and wrap it in a giant box, or shove it in his/her stocking. And the recipe cards ($8 for a pack of 12) are just in case you know somebody who likes to kick it old-school.
-- Heather
Royal Puzzle Memorabilia
What better gift for Jessica, who loves puzzles and royal mugs and memorabilia, than a puzzle ABOUT royal mugs and memorabilia? "Perfect," I thought, smugly, as I ordered it... and then went to her house and found her in the middle of doing it already. I guess I get to keep it for myself, which is a win. It's on Amazon for $25, but Spilsbury has it for $18.99.
-- Heather
House of Windsor royal puzzle
Should I get Jessica this one instead? The trick: Fishpond has it for a pricey $42, shipping for free from the UK (apparently it's hard to find?), so... not the cheapest gift, but worth it for Princess Margaret's hat alone.
-- Heather
Vinyl Collection puzzle
For the puzzle enthusiast who is like, "STOP IT WITH THE ROYAL FAMILY ALREADY." It's $24 at Uncommon Goods.
-- Heather
Portable Puzzle Board
And, here's a place to do your puzzle that lets you carry it neatly off the dinner table when it's time to chow down, and/or your children get home from school and think they are correct to jam two pieces together until they connect, whether they FIT or not. WARNING: It ships from the UK. But it's a reasonable $49.95 from Amazon plus another $5 for shipping and handling, and as I looked around for other kinds, that seems like the best deal AND it's good quality (Jess has it; I've seen it in action).
-- Heather
["I will also note that when I ordered it, shipping from the UK was speedier than they suspected it would be. It might not be NOW, when everyone is shipping everything everywhere, but. FYI -- J]
Coloring Book by Andy Warhol
Perhaps you want to indulge your inner child but you HATE puzzles. Then here: Some weird and whimsical and definitely adult designs for you to shade in whatever colors move you -- all for the low low price of $19.95 from Design Within Reach, which says it offers free shipping.
-- Heather
Star Wars Light Saber Pops
You CLEARLY need to be making popsicles in the form of light sabers. $25 at J. Crew.
-- Jessica
Heat Generating Tights
Okay. This isn't the sexiest gift, maybe. BUT. These are legitimately the warmest tights I have ever, ever worn and I am a native Los Angeleno who has to spend ten February days in New York every year. I am a wuss about the weather. I am obsessed with them. Give them to your cold friends. They're $19.95 if you fall into The Gap.
-- Jessica
Journals
A blank journal is always a nice gift, and these have such beautiful colors. They're LACROIX, SWEETIE DARLING, and they're $28 at Anthro.
-- Jessica
Candle Snuffer
There is nothing more dramatic than swanning around one's home at the end of the night, snuffing out candles and then taking to one's bed. Do it in style thanks to West Elm, for $23. Comes with candles!
-- Jessica
Wonder Woman Apron
I hope you use your Lasso of Truth for good in the kitchen and not for evil. $24.95 at Paper Source, which also has a Superman version.
-- Jessica
Claymation Movie-Making Set
Paper Source has all kinds of random stuff, and this one is my favorite right now: A $27 diorama set with clay, backdrops, a camera stand, and other bits and bobs to help you invent your own Wallace & Gromit.
-- Heather
Banana Republic Cardigan
It's not a gift guide without a wine cardigan! Pour yourself another glass of pinot and wrap up in this one -- or wrap it up for someone else -- from Banana Republic, on sale as of this typing for $44.
-- Jessica
Disposable Paper Place Mats
These are, indeed, disposable: It's a pad of 36 tear-away pieces of paper, each with a different "recipe" as dictated by a kid. (For example, for chicken, the kid said, "Put chicken in oven for five minutes. Put ketchup on chicken. Enjoy.") More for the adult than the child who is so messy that you need to cover the table, BUT, you could laminate your favorites at your local FedEx Kinko's. Then they'll be keepsakes forever.
-- Heather
Doodle Socks
SOCKS ON WHICH YOU CAN DOODLE. Sold! For $17.95 over at the Met.
-- Jessica
Kickstarter Projects at MoMA
The Museum of Modern Art in New York City is selling certain successful Kickstarter projects in its store. The ones in our price range: This nice and evil skull spoon doesn't really have a clear purpose except to look cool, but it's $10 ($8 for members), so whatever; the rainbow pencils -- I believe they are regular pencils that just look pretty when sharpened -- are made of recycled paper and come 5 or 6 to a $16 pack ($12.80 for members), and are just really visually arresting; and the $15 ($12 or members) orange metal wall hook is just cute (and also available in white).
-- Heather
The FitzOsbornes Trilogy
In looking through the books I read this year, I realized I didn't read nearly as many as usual, because we were so occupied writing ours. (I read a LOT of books about the British royal family and books about when you're supposed to curtsy to people, and books about the layouts of a variety of royal residences, however.) So I'm going to recommend a few old favorites. If you're one of those people who likes to give a whole TRILOGY to someone, and you love books about people having romantical issues during wars, I HAVE to recommend, once again, the Montmaray Journals by Michelle Cooper, even though the last one came out in 2013. The pictured is the final book of the three (and I'd say that this is the rare trilogy where each book is better than the prior).
The first book is called A Brief History of Montmaray.
The second is The FitzOrbornes in Exile.
And then the last is this one, The FitzOsbornes at War, which is the sort of book that I would occasionally stop reading and just clutch, because I wished I had written it myself. At the moment, the price for all three at Amazon is $24.78, but I am sure they are also at your local bookstore. (Go say hello to your local bookseller for us!)
--Jessica
The Heir Apparent
Discussion of this book is what eventually lead, indirectly, to the GFY Book Club on Goodreads, and it's a corker. I need you all to read it so we can discuss what a pain in the neck Queen Victoria was! At bookstores everywhere, and currently $15.04 at Amazon.
-- Jessica
The Manly Art of Knitting
I put this in here solely for the title and the cover. It's a 1972 book that was out of print for a long time, but it's BACK, y'all, and it's $12 on Amazon.
-- Heather
Scruples!
Do you have a friend who likes trashy novels that are actually awesome, about women who are great at their jobs and also have sweeping romances and wear jumpsuits? GO TO THE CLASSICS. Scruples is currently a mere $7.99 at Amazon, and you could also give your friend (or yourself) Scruples Two (Scruples ends on...well, let's just say you will want the sequel immediately.)
--Jessica
It's True, AND It's An Earworm
Sure, it's a little braggy, but who cares? And it'll make you sing and maybe also dance your way to the coffee maker. It's $12 from Blue Ribbon General Store, which has a ton of other gifty items for your consideration as well.
-- Heather
Spoiled
Finally, in the interest of a little self-promotion, which I hope your holiday spirit will forgive, if you haven't read our first YA novel, Spoiled, you can pick it up at bookstores anywhere, or at Amazon for [as of typing] $7.38.
-- Jessica
Messy
Messy is the follow-up to Spoiled and it's ALSO at bookstores everywhere, and on Amazon for $8.18.
As far as our new book, The Royal We, goes, there's not yet a pretty cover for us to plonk in here, and also it's not coming out until April 7th, so it would be a very late gift for anyone who's expecting one from you in the next three weeks or so. Having said that, you can always pre-order it for yourself, and then when a package arrives in April, you'll be all like, "What the heck is THIS? I didn't order anything? OH. RIGHT. THIS. YAY!" It's like a gift FOR THE FUTURE.
-- Jessica