Angelina Jolie

Seriously, put Reese's head on this. It's TOTALLY a page from The Book Of Easy Breezy Relatable Hollywood Mom, which is apt since she's promoting a kiddie flick. The giant freaking emeralds, of course, say, "Make no mistake, I am ANGELINA FREAKING JOLIE, and I am as much like you as a piece of coal is like peanut butter."

Angelina Jolie, Giant Panda, Jack Black

See? Angie LOVES Po the Panda! Angie LOVES things children love! Actually, according to Lainey from LaineyGossip, she had her kids in the booth with her while she was recording and was taking their direction sometimes. That's pretty cute. But mostly, this is so freaking WHOLESOME, like, "Dear Jennifer Aniston: You mess with your face, I warm up my image; you make it known you might be topless in Horrible Bosses, and I get at the heart of America with a wholesome family movie. Who's winning now? Love, Angie."

Angelina Jolie

Also, can we talk about what a victory it is that she's finally growing out those mangy bangs? If you read this, combined with yesterday's post on P.Cruz, you might assume I am an anti-bangite. Not true. I LOVE bangs on some people. Julia Stiles' new bangs were cute, Rose Byrne's grew on me, and Katie Holmes' sleek bangy bob was my favorite hair she's ever had. The distinction is, I don't like STUPID bangs. And Angie's were just awful. So thank you lady friend.

Angelina Jolie

I kind of love this Versace on her. She is the chocolate fountain in the Leg City town square. She still seems allergic to doing her hair, at times -- a soft bun might've even been enough -- but it's so NICE to see her going big in a way that doesn't involve a caftan or looking like a Disney villain. And I am not the only one who liked it.

Brad Pitt

The local used Fiat dealer was all, "YOWZA, BABY."

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

"Come on, baby, I could get you in a cool red Spider coupe, mint condition, for a price that would make your panties quit."

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt

"YEAH BABY. Fiat Bob always closes the deal!"

Fug or Fab: Angelina Jolie

So here La Jolie is, blowing into Cannes like a mega-famous wind of hair and lips and maternal glory. Here she is at her daytime photocall, looking as cool and calm and collected as she ever has -- couldn't you also see the likes of Reese Witherspoon in this outfit, and when is the last time you were able to say THAT about these two? By night, of course, she went with something a bit more dramatic, and I'm not just talking about Brad Pitt's face. Although I could be. BECAUSE IT IS. Join me. [poll id="2532"]