Cate Blanchett

I mean, this certainly isn't as bananas as some of what she wore for "Blue Jasmine," so right there we're starting off ahead. And Cate Blanchett always brings special sauce to stuff, right? So from afar, I thought, "It's not my FAVORITE, but it's not TERRIBLE, and maybe it's going to be another one in the Carte Blanchett column." The piping there cutting her at the groin started to bug me, though. A lot. I couldn't figure it out. Who wants a vaginal equator mucking things up?

Cate Blanchett

And then I wondered if maybe this is actually a skirt and a top, belted. Or a dress with a peplum that's made to LOOK like perhaps it's a tunic over a skirt. Either way, WHY.

Cate Blanchett

And then in the BACK, there's a Prime Meridian bisecting the vajquator and suddenly it looks like a repurposed piece of Crusades gear. Like her rump thinks it's Joan of Arc.

Cate Blanchett

AND FINALLY, Crouching Blanchett, Hidden Slit. It's too much. It's not flattering and it's going off the rails in a middle-seasons-of-"24" kind of way and I'm OUT.

Fug or Fab: Cate Blanchett

Having a movie come out during your break between awards shows is VERY awkward timing for anyone who'd prefer to go home and sleep in her skin-enriching cryogenic tube for a month. At first I thought maybe I'd give this outfit to her, but by the end I'd changed my mind and I have divorced it so that I can move on with my life and find happiness someplace else. Let's see if you agree. [poll id="12102"] [Photos: Getty]