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# Fug or Fab: Jessica Biel, with bonus Nicely Played, Kate Beckinsale
- URL: https://go-fug-yourself.ghost.io/fug-or-fab-jessica-biel-with-bonus-nicely-played-kate-beckinsale-07-2012/
- Published: 2012-07-30T16:00:56.000Z
- Updated: 2012-07-29T16:05:59.000Z
- Author: Heather
- Tags: Dialogues, Fug or Fab, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2026-10-07 07:31

BIEL: ... But seriously, what, do you drink the blood of innocents? Make potions out of puppy hair and Tami Taylor's sweat?

BECKINSALE: Whatever do you mean?

BIEL: Your HAIR. It always looks so full and bushy.

BECKINSALE: Well, obviously I'm not telling you any of my tricks. But I can tell you what I don't do: mangy half-updos.

BIEL: What's wrong with half-updos?

BECKINSALE: Nothing, as long as they're not mangy. But the back of your head looks like a stray dog. Did you even *need* to do that?

BIEL: Well, it's supposed to give height...?

BECKINSALE: And does it?

BIEL: Well, I mean... no, maybe?

BECKINSALE: NO.

[](https://gofugyourself.com/fug-or-fab-jessica-biel-with-bonus-nicely-played-kate-beckinsale-07-2012/photo-call-for-columbia-pictures-total-recall?ref=go-fug-yourself.ghost.io)

BIEL: I guess you're right.

BECKINSALE: I'm always right. Listeon, honey, you look exactly the same from the front as you would've if you hadn't pinned up the back, so why make your back view look so ratty?

BIEL: Thanks. Good talk!

BECKINSALE: I'm not done, girlie. Also, brush your hair with something OTHER than your fingers, and use a hot oil treatment, and don't lighten your ends so much that they look crispy, and I actually LIKE your dres, but LOOK how much cuter it is to wear a bright shoe with your neutral dress, and... you should be taking notes, sweetheart.

COLIN FARRELL: TA-DA! I'm here!

BECKINSALE: I'm just telling Jessica that she could look so much better. Could you get her a pen and paper?

COLIN: Not a chance! I am staying the HELL out of this one!

BIEL: Can I blame Justin for this?

BECKINSALE: Oh yes. Blame *someone*.

BIEL: I don't love the toe on your shoes, though, Ms. Know-It-All. Just for the record.

BECKINSALE: Well, I had to add in *one* flaw. It keeps me human.

BIEL: Yeah! That's... ALSO what I was doing!

BECKINSALE: No. You weren't.

BIEL: ... No. Damn you, Justin.

BECKINSALE: Well done.

\[Photos: Getty\]