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Zendaya

Well, she's compelling on her own merits, but you know how I feel about chokers. (If you don't: It's negative.) And I wish they hadn't gone with the blond wig. Add that to the styling here, and this could as easily be stuff they pulled for a Hilary Duff cover in 2005 that never ended up happening. And with all due respect to Hilary, who iI hear is super charming on "Younger," Zendaya is a lot cooler than she is, and I think this cover could have done a WAY better job of celebrating what actually is fresh and endearing and exciting about this person.

Zendaya

This looks like she's upset that her neckline is too tight.

Kylie Jenner

This is fine, if also rather OW MY MOLAR SHIT JUST KEEP SMILING WHATEVER.

Dear Marie Claire: Kylie Jenner is the opposite of a Fresh Face. Kylie Jenner has been in the press since she was like 13 and has appeared on her family's TV show. I will give them that she's only just branching out into her OWN merch, rather than co-branded stuff, but... this was, incidentally, also the infamous interview in which she basically claimed that she "started wigs" and that anything she touches will turn into a phenomenon. I... have a lot of notes. One of which is that arrogance is the enemy of rooting value.

Kylie Jenner

Migraine In Wind Tunnel: A Portrait.

Ellie Goulding

Ellie is ALSO not a fresh face. She sang at freaking Will and Kate's wedding in 2011 and has been all over the place since then. And now she's staring at me as if I just let out a string of rude words.

Ellie Goulding

This photo would be a lot cooler if her hair weren't whipping straight into her face.

Gugu Mbatha-Raw

They REALLY got their money's worth out of that wind machine this month. Although I do think she is a great pick. She also is serving great face.

Gugu Mbatha-Raw

She is here, too. Her face is just great all the time, basically, although being able to give your eyes some heat is never a given, and she can do that. But seriously: ENOUGH WITH THE WIND. It's a crutch, Marie Claire. A CRUTCH.

Hailey Baldwin

Do I have to start paying attention to her now? Does anyone who reads Marie Claire want to pay attention? All I know her from is trying to climb the Kardashian/Bieber ladder to tabloid fame. That's enough for me right now. I feel like the creative for this shoot was, "Let's make people think it's Keira Knightley in hot pants."

Hailey Baldwin

This feels a little empty to me. Also that sweater is... what IS it?

Fug or Fab the Covers: Marie Claire's Fresh Faces Issue, May 2016
Well, not all of them are fresh, but they do at least all have faces? So the chosen theme is half-accurate. (You can read the piece about them all here.) (We covered the party feting this issue, if you want to revisit -- and interestingly, in the preamble, I note that we were stockpiling magazine cover posts in the event that our Internet went kerflooey in the UK, AND IT DID. PROPHETIC.) [Photos: Tesh for Marie Claire]

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