KANDASHIAN
"MY LADY PRINCESS, YOU LOOK LIKE THE HOTTEST ORNAMENTAL CHAIR WITH YOUR WACK ALIEN HAIR AND CURVES OUT TO THERE. DO YOU HAVE ANY SOCKS TO SPARE? NO? DAMN. OH WELL."
KANDASHIAN
"DON'T MIND ME, I AM JUST KEEPIN' UP WITH MY FAVORITE KARDASHIANS. YOU KNOW WHICH TWO. AND YOU WOULD TOO IF SHE WAS YOUR BOO, BUT SHE'S NOT, SO WOOHOO, 'CAUSE I WORKED MY KANYE-FU."
KANDASHIAN
"YEP THEY ARE STILL THERE, WITH VOLUME TO SPARE, AND ALL I CAN DO IS STARE AT MY FAVORITE FRIGGING PAIR OF JUICY LADY-PEARS, AND ALSO THE REST OF HER BECAUSE I REALLY RESPECT WOMEN AND ART AND CULTURE AND DAMN THIS LADY WOULD LOOK GOOD IF I TURNED HER INTO A LAMP AND PUT HER ON MY CHERUB RUG, LIKE AN ELECTRICAL HUG FOR THIS REFINED MOTHER'FING LUG, AND OH, IS THAT A LIGHTBULB IN MY PANTS OR AM I JUST PLEASED TO BE BUYING FURNITURE?"
KANDASHIAN
"SORRY, GIRL, BUT I CAN'T NOT LOOK. IF YOU WERE IN PRINT I WOULD READ THAT BOOK, POSSIBLY ON MY NOOK, 'CAUSE MY IPAD SOMEONE TOOK SO THEY COULD TAKE A LOOK FOR A RECIPE TO COOK, AND THEN SOMEONE USED MY ACCOUNT TO DOWNLOAD 'HOOK' AND I WAS SO MAD I SHOOK ALTHOUGH MAYBE I AM CONFUSING THIS WITH THE TIME WE HAD SEX ON IT IN THE CAR."
KANDASHIAN
"I AM NOT LOOKING I AM NOT LOOKING I AM NOT LOOKING."
KANDASHIAN
"HEH I TOTALLY LOOKED."