Venus Williams
This sort of looks more like a swim cover-up than a tennis outfit -- like some fancy monogrammed onesie that country clubs leave in each locker for their posh members. Although hopefully those would be less faintly polterwangian.
Venus Williams
The thing is, it's very loose and blousey, and... is that a BELT? I think maybe I read the idea is to make it goddess-like, but wouldn't all that STUFF be sort of distracting while you're trying to wallop a ball around the court?
Venus Williams
I mean, here she is, lunging to make a shot, and her sleeve is all, "Oooh, and elbow! LET'S MAKE OUT, ELBOW." I would be so distracted that I would stop moving and check to see if a bug had landed on my arm. (This is, of course, the absolute only reason I would make a lousy tennis player.)
Venus Williams
Of course, I have asked the same "Isn't it irritating?" question about dangling earrings and necklaces and the like, and Venus and Serena both sometimes wear those. So maybe they are just impervious to the feeling of clothes smacking their skin. Perhaps all their nerve endings are dulled from years of it happening. Separately, I want to put this photo on my bedroom wall so that it will mock me into doing pushups every morning, noon, and night. It will not, however, compel me to give up tennis skirts -- you know, the ones I don't own -- because at least those don't give mid-swing wedgies. You do what you need to do, Venus, but give me a sprightly little dress any day.
Venus Williams
It's okay, Venus. We're putting the outfit up to a vote. SOME people may like it. In fact, maybe they all will. Be not afraid, and be not deterred, because the confusion over your outfits is about the only awesome storyline in women's tennis lately, thanks to the lack of terrific rivalries. Could you work on that, too, actually? Thanks in advance.