Agent Drainpipe
The episode begins with a shadowy figure shimmying up the drainpipe at the Hotel for Ladies at which Agent Carter lives. He makes drainpiping look SUPER easy when in fact it's a huge feat of strength and bravery. And they're adding GOLF to the Olympics?!?
Agent Gun
Peggy pulls her gun on him IMMEDIATELY, which is a problem when it turns out to be the eager young boyfriend of the girl next door. This seems extremely injudicious of Peggy, because presumably in a real-world scenario this dude would arrive at Next Door's window and -- while dragging himself inside -- be like, "Great Scott, doll, Pistol Nancy next door nearly shot my face into next week. TOUCHY."
Agent Necktie
This is our first glimpse at the elaborate accessories of the polite detectives, and I LOVE that this show is embracing the loud ties of the era. Apologies for the lighting -- this show is dark at times, in general, but here Chief and his detective (Kyle Bornheimer) are checking out the room of Dead Silent Villain #1, who left behind his magic typewriter. And you can't be a super villain on a Marvel property unless something glows weirdly in or near your quarters.
Agent Sayonara
Don't get too attached to the dame in the patterned dress, with the curls. Jimmy Drainpipe was her boyfriend, see, and instead of being like, "WTF, you need to tell your landlady that Peggy Trigger-Happy is on the loose," instead they walked the dinosaur all night and now they're BUSTED and she has to move out. But not before we get to compare the blonde's floaty clothes to Peggy's ACHINGLY sensible blouses.
Agent Squint
I know, Chad. But what would you have Peggy do? None of you take her seriously. She has to fight back with BLOUSES. It's not a fair fight.
Agent Typewriter
The Chief fondles the magic typewriter but CANNOT get it to do anything. Somewhere his wife snorted, "NO SHIT."
Agent Dollhouse
Fug Nation was upset that I left Enver Gjokaj out last week. He plays Agent Souza, the big lug who is actually probably intended to be Peggy's potential love interest (my theories about Jarvis are based solely on James D'Arcy being awesome and the fact that he has puppy-dog eyes like 80 percent of the time on this). Souza is okay at his job and the only one who reminds the guys not to shit all over Peggy, which is how we know he's eventually maybe deserving of getting her lipstick all over his skin. But I think Souza is too nice-but-dim for Peggy -- he's the Tony Gillingham of this scenario -- and she'll end up falling for someone way more dashing (which Kyle Bornheimer even points out to Souza, albeit in crass terms relating to Peggy's past with Captain America and Souza's lost leg). HOWEVER, points in his favor: His tie looks like little dancing presents.
Agent Squint
Chad, don't judge the presents. You also have on a kooky tie. A GOOD kooky tie, to be sure, but also a tie that stops SEVERAL inches short of where it ought to (go back two slides for proof) so take your eyebrows someplace else.
Agent Bouquet
Even Jarvis has some neck sass! This costumer must be pouring all that blouse-related anxiety into SPICY TIES.
Peggy Carter is MAYBE smarter than just hiding slightly to the left of a massive floral arrangement, though. She was visiting Jarvis because all that drainpipe drama at her building led her to have the epiphany that MAYBE she should look at the spot where Howard Stark was robbed of all his weapons. In doing so, she happened to get there five minutes before the Goof Squad. And seriously, I know Peggy wanted to eavesdrop, but what if they had walked in? She left her Fancy Antique End Table disguise back at the hotel.
Agent Squint
Your squint is justified, Chad. I'll give it to you.
Agent Propmaster
"Here are our credentials -- no, wait, sorry, these are from the novelty SSR deck of cards we got the boys for Christmas. But it's legit. And good for a dime off coffee at McDonald's."
Agent Dead
Is it a coincidence that the only cop who NEVER wears a necktie is the one who ends up DEAD HERE? I THINK NOT. (Kyle dies at the hands of the Evil Empire, but not before Peggy gets to walk past him in a severe suit.)
Agent Blouse
For real, she has one in every color, or close. I wonder if Hayley Atwell walks into the writers' room every day pitching new Alias scenarios just so she can throw on a cute top.
Agent Dressing Gown
She DOES still have this gorgeous piece, though, so thank God we get to see her lounging a lot. In this bit, her neighbor Waitress Angie has come over to try and commiserate about a lousy work day, and Peggy is about to go out and do some spying, so she has to give Angie the brush-off and Angie handles it with all the maturity of a grape that fell off the vine two hours after it appeared.
Agent Noob
She can't even be friendly to poor Rosemary, the new girl on the floor, whose sweater looks like the knotted mess at the bottom of her grandmother's knitting bag. Rosemary is SO folksy that I hope she turns out to be a supremely conniving agent of EVIL.
Agent Squint
Keep an eye on her, Chad. I'm sure it will be difficult.
CMM, by the way, puts the hammer to Jarvis, and almost gets him to sing like a canary by bringing up his old treason allegations. Peggy gets him out of it by making a "mistake" that she knows will get her in trouble but which will also free Jarvis. She is thoughtful. Chad Michael Murray's forehead is EXTREMELY FRUSTRATED by her estrogen-clouded half-brain.
Agent Pantsuit
I love you, Peggy. To sneak back over to Howard Stark's house and investigate his weapons hole, she puts on dark coveralls... and yet still somehow makes sure her lips are crimson. Is her lipstick just THAT GOOD? Was 1940s cosmetics science that advanced?
Agent Floorhole
This is some pretty major damage. From what I understand, Dead Silent Villain #2 -- James Frain -- broke in at night during a thunderstorm while Jarvis was asleep. And put a silencer on the industrial strength jackhammer it would take to blow through flooring that thick. Jarvis is REMARKABLY composed. Considering he freaks out about wrinkled laundry, I assume he already took care of all the deep, meditative breathing it required to get over the RUINED flooring and the impossibility of matching all the artisans' original work.
Agent Contraption
It's important to note, as Peggy and Jarvis are strapped together and descending through the metaphorical vagina of Howard Stark's house, that Jarvis's wife is real. We haven't MET her, but we've HEARD her, and she's at the heart of these lame treason accusations that came out. Basically... he forged some signatures to save her, and then Howard Stark rescued both of THEM, and blah blah blah it's exactly like Downton Abbey right now in the sense that The Criminal is Now Trustworthy. Although what this show is missing is a sassy, sprightly old lady. The Dowager Countess would have THOUGHTS about Peggy Carter's predicaments, and whether Jarvis is a suitable bang.
Agent Drawing
This is Peggy's rendering of the symbol James Frain wrote in the dirt. It's of a heart with a tapeworm. He was just trying to tell her to go to a doctor.
Agent Logo
Or, he was trying to steer her to this ship, the Heartbreak, but his artistic skills were super hampered by his mortal injuries.
Agent Gizmo
Inside the ship are crates of strange appliances Howard Stark invented, which resemble nuclear-powered sex toys.
Agent Zap
When this henchman tries to beat the hell out of her, Peggy promptly kicks his ass and then tazers him with the glowing device that apparently turns your bones into soup. She then convinces Jarvis to call the SSR so that they can recover the weapons, which Jarvis does in a hilariously weak American accent. Unfortunately, Peggy doesn't seem to consider that the henchman is not DEAD, and so theoretically could ID her. Also, no one mentions this, but she and Jarvis manhandle all the stuff in that ship. Their fingerprints are ALL OVER EVERYTHING. I guess she has to hope nobody dusts for those in this era.
Agent Plaid
Unfortunately, Agent Kyle "No Tie" Bornheimer was tasked with taking the henchman to jail, and right when the henchman told him Tall Tales of a British Beauty, they're both murdered by YET ANOTHER Shadowy Villain. So Peggy comes to work the next day in her kickiest plaid blazer, high on having done secretly stellar work even if she gets no credit for it, and finds out that a member of their ranks has fallen. And it's SORT OF her fault, maybe.
Agent Argyle
Agent Souza puts on some Grief Argyle to process the death. The Chief calls Kyle's wife. Chad Michael Murray gives it a good pause and then says heavily, as if it's normal, "And I'll call his girlfriend." I have to say, I laugh at CMM's squinting, but he actually sells the post-war cop bit pretty well and his timing and delivery on the girlfriend line were really good. Am I on Team CMM? AM I?
Agent Grief
Peggy copes with her sadness by going to Angie's diner and reaching out to her, which makes Angie happy and gives Peggy someone to talk to about the sexist pig from her job who died and she's sad about it even though he was a douche (that is a paraphrasing). So I guess we're to feel comforted that Peggy leaves fingerprints all over a crime scene, but at least has some good friends to talk to about it at the end of the day when it's time to make up stories about "the phone company."