Agent AWESOME
Welcome back, you glorious, GLORIOUS CREATURE. Hayley Atwell is a treasure and I can see why ABC wants to be in business with her. This show was not promoted well, though, and didn't do GREAT in the ratings -- it tied a preview for the CW's new spinoff, "Legends of Tomorrow" -- but it's such an accomplished delight, so let's cross our fingers that ABC continues to conclude, correctly, that Hayley Atwell is an unmissable opportunity.
Agent Hijinks
Let's back up: A woman in an outfit nearly identical to Peggy's from last season's opener -- a mystery brunette, if you will -- waltzes into a bank and tries to rob it. Well, actually, she just wants into one particular vault. But when the vault door opens...
Agent Gotcha
... Peggy jumps out from the darkness and brandishes her gun. I love that, while Peggy has been known to carry a dainty pistol in her handbag, the show doesn't shy away from giving her heavier artillery. Oh, Peggy. I've missed you.
Agent Underwood
The crook is none other than Sin Rostro herself. Whoops, sorry, that's her character on Jane the Virgin, although they might be related. THIS is Dottie Underwood, the corn-fed hall mate of Peggy last season who turned out to be a Russian assassin with no feelings, last seen as a blonde and having escaped a near-fatal fall onto an aircraft wing. I'm NOT sure how she would know what Peggy wore at a time when she was not tailing Peggy, but whatever. Details. Maybe she snuck into the SSR (secret agents, but involving SCIENCE and paranormal Captain America stuff) and found a Peggy Carter inspiration board in Chad Michael Murray's desk.
Bridget Regan plays every scene as if she is a bit hot for Peggy, and is deeply aroused by their sparring. Even the sight of Peggy in the vault with a gun seems to light a fire in her eyes. It's a great choice. She's transfixed by her adversary at all times.
Agent Whoop-Ass
That fire is doused temporarily when, after a mighty duel, Peggy whacks her over the head with a bag of money. It rains coin all over Dottie's unconscious body as Peggy arrests the hell out of her.
Agent California
Because Sousa, who is running SSR: LA now, has a whopper of a case and wanted backup -- and Chad Michael Murray, still the chief of SSR: NY, sent Peggy so that he could step in with Dottie and get all the credit.
Sousa has been called in on a bizarre incident wherein, during the middle of an LA heatwave, a frozen dead body has bobbed up in a lake, which is also starting to freeze. You can tell Sousa is in California because he dresses for work like he is on a postcard.
Agent Sensible
Well, that blouse won't go down as one of my favorites. Peggy, the least you could do is dress UP to interrogate this crazy Russian who wants to wear your skin like a fancy suit.
How did Peggy know she'd be at that vault? We have no clue, although Peggy brandishes a lapel pin with a mysterious logo on it and wants Dottie to spill the details about why she wanted it, who her Russian contacts are, etc. It's a very polite interrogation, and Dottie -- completely aroused again -- tells Peggy that she'd expected more. Peggy shrugs that she's not afraid of Dottie, but before she can continue her interrogation, she is yanked off the case. Why?
Agent Defunct
I LOVE it when shows trot out the dead airlines as props.
Agent Jarvis
We do NOT all have a dapper British comic force waiting for us when we disembark, and for that I am sad. Jarvis is, you'll recall, Howard Stark's butler and general errander -- the very one Tony Stark immortalized with his computer that runs Iron Man. This Jarvis is a bit less suave, a bit more antsy for adventure, and ENDLESSLY delightful. To behold him is to love him.
Agent YES
I guess we all have our Sensible But Mildly Regrettable Travel Pants.
Agent LAX
Jarvis is, of course, ferrying about a flamingo for Mr. Stark's menagerie while taking Peggy to Howard's LA manse. I mostly kept this shot in here to show you what a barn LAX used to be, and lament that the current iteration of LAX is no better and they might actually want to consider reverting back to simpler times.
Agent Lovely
Peggy's face when she sees Sousa, thinking he has requested her specifically, is so... heartbreaking. There's so much hope in her face.
Agent JUST KISS HER
Sousa is torn -- at first he looks like he's seeing the most tremendous vision, and then it devolves into nerves and terror. Because Peggy is terrific, she doesn't pussyfoot around; instead she mentions that she tried to call him, like he asked, several times. He then tells HER that the three hour time difference seemed like a lifetime. He says it in the most longing way, but dude, I hate to break it to you: It's not TIME TRAVEL. It's just MATH. Did he just think he was never going to see her again? Did he cut out his feelings for her, and that's why he's addicted to khaki now?
Agent Awwww
And yep, it turns out Sousa has met someone else. Peggy invites him for a drink, but he deflects... and she spots him down on the street greeting a lady with a kiss. Oh SOUSA. Peggy was worth waiting for, you dreamy, dreamy goober.
Agent Squint
You'll be pleased to know that the show's stable of period-appropriate neckties is alive and kicking. As is Chad Michael Murray's jealousy of Peggy. See, Dottie is EXTREMELY DISPLEASED when she finds out that Peggy won't be her adversary, and is deeply unimpressed when Squint Literal up here decides to give her a "carrot and stick" speech by bringing in AN ACTUAL CARROT AND STICK. You don't need PROPS for your questioning, Chad. You are not the Carrot Top of interrogators, vegetable in hand or not.
Also, why do they remove the handcuffs of their quarry before they chat to them? Do we not think this causes problems?
Agent SQUIIIINT
Because no sooner has Chad uncuffed Dottie and gotten all gruff with her than she flips the table and pins him down and informs him that HE IS NO PEGGY CARTER. The agents watching through the window come and save him which is also shameful for him. Oh, Chad. Maybe if you'd brought a head of lettuce?
Agent Spooky
Peggy, meanwhile, gets a look at this dead icicle of a lady, and it turns out she is a) still frozen solid, and b) glows in the dark. This would be an EXTREMELY kinky trick at parties, were the woman not expired.
Agent Reggie
This leads them to some lab in Pasadena called Isodyne -- the dead girl worked near a reactor or something -- and that's how we come to meet Jason Wilkes, a scientist who is making wine with his equipment and is otherwise totally enamored by Peggy while also being clever and kind. This is how you know his shit is going to get REAL soon.
Also, this actor, Reggie Austin, is one of my faves. I worked on a reality show EONS ago where people competed to be in a Joel Silver TV movie, and Reggie here JUST missed the final cut to be in the house, which is ABSURD, because he was clearly the most talented (and now I've decided the casting gods were trying not to taint his promising career). He's worked really steadily in small roles since then, and I am so happy to see him here. (Other notable alums: Teen Wolf's Mom on Teen Wolf, who also missed the final cut, and then the male winner who is now on Y&R. NO ONE ELSE went anywhere that I can recall.) AHEM. Welcome in, Reggie. I'm so glad you did not end up on that show.
Agent Stylish
Peggy, by the way, has a Driving Fedora. I thought you should know.
Agent Mrs. Jarvis
We also get to meet Mrs. Jarvis, FINALLY, in the form of Lotte Verbeek (Outlander fans know her as Geillis; TFiOS fans know her as Willem Dafoe's assistant). The stroke of brilliance here is that Mrs. Jarvis is AWESOME. Her name is Ana, and she is TOTALLY secure in her relationship with her husband, and I am so relieved because it means there won't be any idiotic jealousies over his antics with Peggy. Ana also makes Peggy a garter holster for her pistol. She also picked out a bunch of outfits for Peggy and is, essentially, the best Get A Grip friend you could want. I love her. Let's keep her.
Agent Fancy
These two go to Santa Anita to confront the head of Isodyne, who is also a senate candidate, and Ana has picked Peggy's clothes brilliantly. Hayley Atwell should wear that forever. ALSO, between Jarvis and Sousa and Chad Michael Murray and everyone else, this show has officially wrung the world dry of taupe fabrics.
Agent Fire Tie
Chadwick, the dude, is played by recognizable everyman Currie Graham. He of course gives Peggy nothing because it's only the first episode. He is ALSO married to an actress named Whitney Frost, whom we'll see later. I'm just trying to make sure you have all the information. Also, Chadwick's tie obviously bespeaks a man with the fire of ambition in his heart and FLAMES OF EVIL in his soul.
Agent Kurtwood
Before Chad Michael Murray can stomp the truth out of Dottie, the FBI swoops in and takes her into its custody, led by Kurtwood Smith. He tells CMM that the SSR is a dying agency and he'd be better off in the muck at a real place than the former chief of a long-obsolete group. CMM seems to agree. And I thought for all the world we were going to find out that Kurtwood is CMM's father -- that would be great casting -- but then they burst my bubble by both MENTIONING CMM's father. And I really don't think this show has the time or inclination to do a Chad Michael Murray Paternity Scandal storyline. NOR SHOULD IT.
Agent Tar
Lots of people have died: The Medical Examiner froze to death just like the victim, and then Local Cop Passing Things Off As A Serial Killer's Work -- who of course turns out to be doing evil on the side, for hire -- freezes to death because he too got exposed to whatever toxin caused this. Meet the toxin: Zero Matter, in a chamber at Isodyne designed by none other than Jason Wilkes. He stares at it morosely and wonders, presumably, if he and Peggy will ever get to wriggle together as freely as this thing is on its own.
Agent Spandex
You also need to know that Jarvis has become a lean, mean fighting machine. With a weight-training awning. As is the custom.
Agent Pantsuit
Peggy is, I think, contractually required to wear unfortunate trousers at least once a week. Consider this episode's requirement FILLED. Jarvis brags that he's super swole now, and all tight and shit, and maybe a master of judo. Peggy effortlessly flips him, and just when you think he's conceding defeat...
Agent Kama Sutra
... he pins her in this compromising position. Which on a lamer show would cause Mrs. Jarvis to be suspicious and frowny and rude to an innocent Peggy. But instead...
Agent Lanai
... Ana is just like, "Oh, great, did he pin you? Well done." It seems Ana is Jarvis's sparring partner. And while I miss the energy of The Griffith a little, I do think a more wise and wordly Ana is more fun than Peg's wide-eyed waitress pal from season one.
Agent Bonding
Oh, but Peggy gets another friend: Sousa arrives at work (their cover: a talent agency) to find Peggy in deep bonbing with his girlfriend, Violet. Who is lovely and charming and supportive and understanding in all the ways that would suggest SECRET EVIL brewing.
Agent Goon
"Oh, hi. Shadowy Henchman here. I'm just popping by to murder some SSR agents and steal the frozen dead body. Must dash!"
Agent Lucifer
Ray Wise here is, OF COURSE, the head of the Shadowy Cabal that all wears tie pins like the one Dottie was after. Chadwick, the Isodyne president, goes before them, and they tell him that Project Zero Matter is kaput. They must clean out the lab immediately. There is a lot of symbolic candle-snuffing here, too, while they all remind Chadwick that they wholly support his Senate bid and that he should stick to that and stop trying to one-up atomic energy.
Agent Frost
You know who doesn't take that well? Chadwick's wife, Whitney Frost, who is in on all their nefarious doings. It's unclear why she is so obsessed with Zero Matter, but she swallows her panic and pretends to Chadwick that all is well and of course she supports him. Meanwhile, it cannot be a coincidence that she is obsessed with a substance that's been turning people to ice, and her name is FROST. Very subtle, Marvel. (If you want to spoil yourself on who she is in the Marvelverse, click here.)
Agent Oooh
Well. Look at these two hideous people, looking so hideous and things. JUST HAVE SEX. Ahem.
Agent Diamonds
Their sexual awakening is going to run into a roadblock, because Sousa is planning to propose to Nurse Violet and Peggy finds the ring. She haltingly tells Sousa she's happy for him, and there's a note of "I'm releasing you" about it -- both for her own sake, and partly for his, because I think she can tell he's both happy with Violet and deeply torn by Peggy's presence. So they just quickly have farewell sex and it's great. Right? Let's say it happened.
Agent Bomp-Chicka-Wow-Wow
Peggy gets dolled up in this gorgeous purple color and goes to meet Jason Wilkes on the town so that he can - in a bar -- tell her all about his Work Secrets. Jarvis gives her Tony Stark's Sexmobile, complete with a Champagne compartment, a fully reclining seat, a mirror on the ceiling, and a "sock on the door" -- aka, a signal alerting Jarvis that he needs to go pick up the abandoned car because Howard is homing his own beacon somewhere else. Somewhere, Biff Tannen just heaved the BIGGEST sigh of jealousy.
Agent Griffith Park
Jason and Peggy share a nice dance, and then he takes her to the Griffith Park Observatory for no reason except that she show REALLY wants to take advantage of some LA locations. (I mean, there's a throwaway line about how he made money sweeping the floors as a kid, but that's it.) They drink in the view, talk about his past, mention that Isodyne was the only place that didn't care about his race when he applied for jobs there, and then get to the nitty-gritty of what Zero Matter is. Which obviously you would discuss with her inside a planetarium, rather than in your office, or in a warm and comfortable bed while you are eating olives out of her clavicle.
Agent Filmstrip
This all ends in... a filmstrip. Yes, a filmstrip. I do not know why Griffith Park has these tapes, except that... it's an observatory, and they... observe things there? They aren't pretending this is Isodyne because we saw plenty of other exteriors for those offices, so I'm puzzled. ANYWAY: Apparently Zero Matter came from a botched atomic test and no one understands it and blah blah blah it disappears people and looks like what happens if Kim Kardashian cries (translation: giant puddle of chemicals).
Right as they're resolving to go steal the Zero Matter from Isodyne, thugs come and shoot up the place, slashing Peggy's tires.
Agent Flamingo
Jarvis, meanwhile, is jousting with "the devil in pink," which will not go into the place Howard intended. Ana is watching this battle of wills and laughing gleefully, until she notices The Sock On The Door. Peggy triggered the alarm, which was good thinking, except that she then steals one of the bad dudes' cars and they drive off into the night. I guess at least Jarvis can rescue the Champagne, IF the bottle made it through intact. WHY DID NO ONE CHECK ON THE CHAMPAGNE.
Agent Tie pin
In said stolen car, Peggy finds another Tie Pin of Shadowy Shadow People. I love that this season is hinging on accessories.
Agent SMOOCHING
Through a series of mishaps, all of which Peggy handles with dry humor and moxie, she and Jason end up pressed up against each other in a phone booth AND THEY MAKE OUT. FINALLY, A SHOW I WATCH, ON WHICH I BEG PEOPLE I LIKE TO KISS, ACTUALLY FEATURES PEOPLE I LIKE KISSING. Sousa, you snooze, you lose, friend. These two have really nice chemistry, and I think this sets up a welcome love quadrangle with Sousa and Peggy being the ones who got away from each other... but they both went to really nice people, so you hate to see ANY of them get hurt but you really just want them each to have some exciting sex with nice humans while they dick around pretending they're not in love.
Agent Specs
When they get to Isodyne, they obviously find Hired Goons clearing out the place. Peggy, of course, kicks their asses wearing glasses without even so much as cracking a lens. Because she is the greatest living human (other than not being living, in a real sense, or technically a human in that sense either).
Agent Frost
Frost, meanwhile, pops up as Jason is rescuing the Zero Matter and storing it in his fancy little case. He points out that she'd be stupid to shoot him while he's holding it and could so easily drop it. She concedes the point. So what does he do? Reach out and slap the gun out of her hand, which leads to a tussle, and THAT causes him to drop the bomb. WELL DONE JASON. You are too smart to have been that stupid. "Run," he entreats Frost, before the building blows up and/or the Zero Matter snacks on their spleens. Oh, Jason Wilkes. We hardly knew ye. (OR DID WE.)(Well, we did. But we might get to know you yet.)(Or WILL WE?)(We will.)(I think.)
Agent Sad
This whole time Sousa has been FREAKING OUT about Peggy being in danger. And Peggy is gutted that Jason is dead, and Sousa is thrilled she is alive, and FEELINGS, and also her lipstick is completely intact. Which is a great advertisement for it, in this imaginary world. "Easy, Breezy, Resistant to Zero-Matter Explosions: CoverGirl."
Agent Moptop
Look at this crazy kid and his hair that I want to tousle. Violet is waiting for him with a bear claw and complete understanding about his badass job and the ways in which it means he's unreliable. She's So great, in fact, sitting there like an angel in her nurse's uniform, that one again might assume she's secretly rotten to her core. WE'LL SEE. I would prefer it if she isn't, because that's a way more agonizing love quadrangle. If everyone is a good person, it really rips at your heart.
Sousa also almost stops her and proposes right there on the lawn, but then... doesn't.
Agent Ana
Ana Jarvis always wears flowers, so far, which I hope means she's a fresh spring blossom in a sea of terrible, rather than that she's going to turn into a Marvel villain called The Tulip.
Agent Robe
Sigh. I do love a vintage dressing gown. Even though this one appears to have been pinned for modesty reasons.
Agent Dun-Dun-DUNNN
Oh, and Frost is alive, and oozing Zero Matter from a cut on her forehead. Which means Jason Wilkes might also be alive. But perhaps CHANGED. Or just doomed. Or both.