PANTALONES!!!
"Lovers, what if his trouser acne is contagious? Would YOU risk getting Lichtensmith on these pants? My pelvis is the art, not some lady's ojo. Pish."
Mi perro!
"Do you see Randy's frown boob, lovers? That is how my soul feels when we listen to people sing Stevie Wonder who are not Stevie Wonder. Do you not think this show would learn by now that NOBODY who is not Stevie Wonder should ever sing Stevie Wonder? It is LOPEZ IDOL, lovers. And LOPEZ would never sing Stevie Wonder, so POR QUE ARE THEY. So gracias, Randy, for wearing my emotions."
Yo!
"Oh, lovers. Do you think I would put these jewels next to Ooze Looks Like A Lady ANY longer than I have to? HAHAHAHA. Lopez is no fool, lovers. There is a reason I am dating un hombre named Smart."
Last year's almost person!
"And then la pobrecita who didn't win last year came out and sang about peaches, and still nobody has figured out how to put this child in clothes that don't make her look like she models for the 99 Cent store."
OY
"And then she comes out in the SLEEVE, and that should be MY sleeve, and I should wear that sleeve and I should hide Ryan Seacrest in that sleeve and then name it Ryan Sleevecrest and invite it for tapas, and so I LAUGHED and then I had her locked in a closet for an hour."
Symbol
"And then this person came out and I said, 'Randy, since when is Prince blonde?'"
Yo y Randy
"And Randy said, 'That is not Prince, my brilliant angel. That is Mary J. Blige.' Or something like that. And I said, 'Randy, I was not born ayer, lover. I know that bouffant.' And he said, 'Jennifer, I swear on Steven's hair feather that it is true.'"
Mary J. Bouffant
"And so I guess it is this person. And from the front I see he is right, it is not Prince, because Prince would never wear a croissant on his forehead. Do you think we could get real Prince? Ryan Weecrest needs somebody here who is closer to his height HAHAHAHAHAH, oh, Lopez, you slay. First step Idol, next will be Lopez Comic Standing. I will take over el mundo."